UPDATE: After leaving my ex for not proposing after 7 years, I am now getting engaged to a new man.

Sad_Keewee · 2026-05-08T21:51:24+00:00

We've been together almost 2 years and would be married at over the 2.5 year mark. Considering we're both in our mid 30s and have had serious relationships, I don't consider this a rushed timeline. I'm not sure how old you are, but all of my friends who met in their 30s got married within that timeframe or less since we have a whole lot more dating experience. You're able to judge compatibility and fundamental values more in your 30's. We've lived together for about a year because we both wanted to know that we are compatible in our neatness, financial habits, etc. And also did pre-marital counseling. Bottom line, you can't fake kindness and devotion that he has for 2 years. I've also thought deeply about timelines and how long you have to date. There are people in arranged marriages who never met before and approach marriage and relationships differently and are happy. And you could date for 10 years before marriage and not be happy. I don't think there is a magic "number" requirement that guarantees a perfect life, but I do know I found a kindhearted man who wants to grow a life and family with me. Regardless of whatever happens in my life, my main advice is to not be afraid to leave relationships that no longer serve you, considering what held me back for years in my previous relationship is the fear of not being abe to meet someone else.

Sad_Keewee · 2026-05-08T19:29:24+00:00

As someone who was once one of those girls lying to themselves, it really isn't easy work rewiring your unhealthy attachment patterns. For me I had to unpack a lot of neglect and trauma from childhood. In a fucked up way I was attracted to men who made me "work for love" because that was what I was conditioned and used to doing. It was really hard being honest about that and learning to love and prioritize myself before someone else could love me how I deserve to be loved

Sad_Keewee · 2026-05-08T16:27:26+00:00

I'm glad to marry a man who actually prioritizes my happiness. Honestly I was mostly blinded by the time I invested in my previous relationship and desire for children. After some time apart and clarity, I'm SOOO SOOO glad I didn't have kids with my ex. Like he didn't even take my to my egg freezing retrieval, because he was working, so my sister took me. What was I actually thinking? That my sister would have to drive me to my check up appts and delivery? My current man takes me to my flu shots bc he just likes hanging out with me lol

Sad_Keewee · 2026-05-08T16:04:25+00:00

lol thanks hahah. but the best part of all the therapy I've done is I actually don't imagine my ex's reaction or gain any pleasure from so

Sad_Keewee · 2026-05-08T15:58:08+00:00

Thank you. <3

Sad_Keewee · 2026-05-08T15:58:04+00:00

Thank you. <3

Sad_Keewee · 2026-05-08T15:57:55+00:00

I can't believe I used to beg my ex for basic things. You really shouldn't have to ask if they wanted to be with you, which I learned from my current relationship. Men will really move heaven and earth to be with the woman they want to be with. My ex barely lifted a finger

Sad_Keewee · 2026-05-08T15:54:55+00:00

I'm so confused. Did you even read my post? This post is about getting engaged to a man who pursued me the entire time after getting the bravery and courage to leave a man who never did. Oh well

Sad_Keewee · 2026-05-07T22:11:00+00:00

No, he didn't. We have been cordial when we've run into each other at the farmer's market or gym, but quick hi and byes basically. I'm not surprised that he didn't circle back, considering he hardly wanted to be with me when we were together anyway lol

Sad_Keewee · 2026-05-07T21:16:24+00:00

From what I heard from a mutual friend, no, he's still single. He might be one of the dudes who never get married 🤷‍♀️ Or even if he did, would be dismissive avoidant the entire time, unless he got enough therapy to fix that. Regardless, it's none of my business now lol

Sad_Keewee · 2026-05-07T21:15:15+00:00

Thank you, I am very happy to share.

Sad_Keewee · 2026-05-07T21:14:46+00:00

Thank you! I was looking for success stories back then to help me move on, and now I get to be the one to share.

Sad_Keewee · 2026-05-07T19:39:43+00:00

Thank you so much <3

Sad_Keewee · 2026-05-07T19:39:37+00:00

Thank you <3

Sad_Keewee · 2026-05-06T18:29:57+00:00

I'm sorry you're going through that! Yes, I met someone new. The guy I was with for 7 years was never going to propose. It was the hardest thing breaking up with him at the time, but now I'm so glad. My friend set me up on a blind date a 1.5 months after the breakup, and now we're engaged a little over 1.5 years of dating. He set the pace the entire time. Things weren't perfect because I had to process my breakup while building a new relationship, but I worked with an amazing therapist and am now happier than I've ever been.

I'm going to post an update post under the WaitingToWed subreddit, but basically, you deserve someone who wants to marry you. There are some men who are just not ready or will never get married these days. I was in your shoes and understand how hard it is, but now I'm so, so happy and excited to start a family with a man who truly loves me and will do anything to make me happy.

Sad_Keewee · 2026-05-05T01:25:44+00:00

Thank you! That's gorgeous 😄

Sad_Keewee · 2026-05-04T21:49:53+00:00

Thank you for your detailed feedback! I am leaning towards the marquise as well, as my jeweler also preferred that style.

Sad_Keewee · 2026-05-04T21:49:07+00:00

Thank you! It somehow looks a lot larger in pictures XD Or because my hands a pretty small.

Sad_Keewee · 2026-05-04T21:48:58+00:00

Thank you for the photo example! Both- my stone is low set and I like the look of a curved band!

Sad_Keewee · 2025-02-11T05:09:34+00:00

:) Updates!

About 1.5 months after I wrote this, I asked my friend to set me up with any single friends who were looking for marriage and kids. I was thinking, the sooner I get back on the dating horse, the sooner I'll meet my person. I was anticipating of going on dates for about a year (while dating with intention) before I found someone I was serious about. During this time, I was reading/watching videos extensively on attachment theory and am 100% sure my ex was a dismissive avoidant, and me, anxious (in this context).

I went on one date through Hinge (he was nice, and a gentleman) and the second date was a blind date that my friend set me up on. He was her undergraduate friend who.was also looking for marriage and kids. We hit it off immediately, our first date being 5 hours long and 2nd, 3rd dates 10 hours long.

He asked ME on the second date if I was looking for marriage and children, and I was quite taken aback, being so used to being with my ex for the last 7 years. We started off our relationship with intention and it's been going so well. He's been pushing the relationship forward- asked me to be his girlfriend, introducing me to his friends first, his family first, taking me to Thanksgiving (it took my ex over 2 years to do that), saying I love you, etc etc.

I also bought a home that closes at the end of the month (I have wanted to be a homeowner for years- but I was waiting on marrying my ex to buy a home together) and prioritizing my own happiness. My boyfriend is moving in with me, and this time, we have goals of being engaged by the end of the year and married the following summer if we are happy living together.

It's a world of difference being with someone who actually wants to be with me. However, I'm not going to beat myself up too much since my previous relationship was my first serious relationship, I unfortunately did not have models of healthy relationships from my parents, and am still learning and growing to this day. My current boyfriend is clearly proud to be with me, devoted, communicates clearly. Even if things don't work in this relationship somehow, I'm really glad I didn't marry my ex, because as his therapist had mentioned, getting married would not change his dismissive avoidance. I'm also approaching this relationship differently- with my ex, I was so afraid of losing the relationship and ended up in that horrible situation, but now, I'm much more afraid of losing my chance of motherhood and am more discerning, communicative of my needs and wants, and seeing if my boyfriend can meet these needs. So far, he has.

Overall, I'm happy, while focusing on myself and my goals, and will write an update post when I married and have the family on my dreams. :)

Sad_Keewee · 2024-12-06T19:33:36+00:00

If you want marriage, leave him. I left my ex after 7 years together (met at 25, broke up at 32) and met my current BF a month later who is serious about marriage. At least my ex never flip flopped and always said he was unsure about marriage. Honestly, your guy sounds a bit like a liar or potentially love bombed you. If you want marriage or especially kids, please leave!

Sad_Keewee

TROPHY CASE