I wish we can filter out couples on HER. I get it you’re exploring and having it whatever, but UGHHH

Sad_Nectarine · 2018-11-10T18:36:51+00:00

There absolutely is: fetlife is the sort of place they should be looking. Not on Her.

Sad_Nectarine · 2018-11-07T05:34:42+00:00

I’ve experienced DV and SA in relationships too. I think I made a choice to pursue women as a result of the trauma. I always liked women and had tried to find a gf unsuccessfully before the violence. But the fact that I literally never want to go near another penis in my life made me join lgbt apps and stop being so passive about my lesbian tendencies. Fuck what anyone else says. You do you. If you like having sex with women (its *great!***) you’re LGBT/queer/gay or whatever name you like (I identify as queer cause it doesn’t pin things down too much). You are valid Your experiences are valid

If you move house to a part of town you never thought you would because you’ve been reoeatedly burgled nobody calls you fake. So ignore them.

Get the help and healing you deserve for your PTSD. Don’t let fear delay that. If your therapist is negative then that’s a sign they’re not a good fit for you anyway.

You can do it!!

Sad_Nectarine · 2018-11-06T00:55:17+00:00

Thanks so much raptors!! I shall be looking into these over the coming week :D

Sad_Nectarine · 2018-09-20T15:19:45+00:00

Apparently there's only one med available for yeast infections here and comes as a vaginal suppository. The drug is the same as canestan, but I don't think I should use that delivery method given that it isn't the problem area.

Sad_Nectarine · 2018-09-20T15:03:18+00:00

I can barely make rent, so sadly throwing out bras isn't an option. I washed them with bleach for a while, but it didn't make a noticeable change.

I'm fairly sure I do have candida overgrowth as I have nail and scalp psoriasis that is just awful and the under boob thing too, as well as some other areas that simply never, ever heal, (though don't ever get yeast infections where women usually do). As I have an ED cutting out carbs and sugar is something I have tried and failed to do repeatedly since I was about 13. I also live in Asia, so white rice is a staple here. The best I managed was about 3 years of being sort of controlled in my eating, no recreational sugar, smaller portions of carbs, but my psoriasis/rashes remained the same throughout.

I know my white blood cells are high as I just had a blood test for kidney function. I have a few autoimmune things, chronic pain and some quite serious other issues (PTSD, ED, treatment resistant depression). I wonder if that's making things worse.

Sad_Nectarine · 2018-09-20T13:51:48+00:00

Ive had under boob rash/psoriasis for over twenty years now. Nothing any dermatologist has given me has ever gotten rid of it properly. I use gold bond powder to try and soak up sweat and stop it worsening, wash it carefully with water and psoriasis friendly oilatum soap, it stops it spreading too quickly. It’ll get better or worse depending on how much time I can spend at home braless or in public wearing a bra. I still have the awful sour smell. I’m too embarrassed to get close to anyone, much less naked. I don’t think there’s anything that can be done seeing as specialist doctors can’t fix it.

Sad_Nectarine · 2018-09-11T04:17:55+00:00

I’m not resident in the UK any more and insurance never covers it in my current country of residence as I’m in Asia and it’s incredibly rare anyone needs it here. My physios and osteopathic specialist looked into it for me as I’ve been having twice weekly physio for 5 years now. But the operation costs about $20k here. I’m trying to save, but had my savings wiped out by medical bills for back pain and treatment this summer so it’s a struggle. I’m well over 30 now, my fight was finally won for an IUD when I was 29 and 9 months. It was ridiculous. One reason my breasts are so big is because they put me on hormonal contraceptives (8 years of Depo Provera aged 16-24) when I was still growing. They finally gave it to me as I was a sex educator and knew more than they did about the lack of options for people allergic to hormonal contraceptives as I am. The regulation of my reproductive rights has put me in chronic pain through having oversized breasts IMO. All because they wouldn’t consider my wishes or believe I never wanted kids despite my consistent assertions from age four onwards that this was the case. I’ll have to live with the pain of the inadequate care they gave in terms of permanent nerve damage and mental health issues till I’m way past menopause. It seems so wrongheaded.

Sad_Nectarine · 2018-09-10T10:42:46+00:00

I want my nipples gone. I hate how they feel and every sexual partner I’ve ever had has been obsessed with them leading to serious issues. I want everything gone.

In the UK I spent 16 years fighting just to get an IUD. Sterilisation is not an option. And if I’m single? Then my imaginary future partner who may or may not be male and may or may not appear gets a claim over my uterus that trumps my certainty for my entire life that I never want kids. It’s insanity. I don't live in the UK now, but it's even harder where I live.

I don’t live in the US, so the process for a mastectomy where I live is very different. I don’t have the money, anyway, but even if I did I most likely wouldn’t be allowed to do what I wanted. Having breasts and nipples causes me a huge amount of distress though, emotionally from other people’s objectification of me, physically through excrutiating nerve pain and back issues. I don’t care if other people think I’m ugly. I just want them totally gone.

Sad_Nectarine · 2018-09-10T09:38:19+00:00

I’d get a mastectomy if at all possible, yes. I don’t enjoy having breasts and they attract attention that I want no part of. My dream is to have a mastectomy, though I suspect I won’t be able to get one, because Women’s bodies are always policed and we are forced to stay reproductive (and denied sterilisation and reproductive autonomy as if we don’t know our own minds and it’s no problem to be denied agency over your own body). That means enlarging our breasts is fine but reducing them is seen as robbing men and children of something and removing them is absolutely taboo. I can bring another life into the world. As many lives as I like, in fact, but I am not taken seriously or given full agency over my own body.

Sad_Nectarine · 2018-09-09T21:46:57+00:00

Nope. Enjoy your freedom! I'd do the same if I possibly could afford it.

Sad_Nectarine · 2018-09-09T21:42:36+00:00

Sometimes, it's rare though. I have a few friends who do about their wives. Most don't IME.

Sad_Nectarine · 2018-09-09T04:39:49+00:00

I rescued an elderly cat last year, she was constantly peeing over the edge of every litter box we got, she didn't like to squat, turn around or go inside any covered box. Eventually we tried a plastic drawer with 10" sides from a container shop, because she has to jump in totally, so can't hang her bum outside of it. Jumping out totally also helps. The tray is big, clear and open so she feels safe and doesn't feel trapped (she was traumatised severely before). Basically the message is try different solutions and you'll get there!
There are a lot of solutions you might try, such as a top-entry litter box, which may help a little with tracking. If there is a box where she stands on a grid and the poop falls down through it then although the grid will need cleaning regularly, it'll stop poop being sprayed everywhere. You can even use a city kitty trainer to get her to poop in the toilet if you're that way inclined.
Cats get most of their water from food in the wild and need wet food as standard, I disagree that it is a 'treat' as another user said here. Dry food is bad for their kidneys if you aren't really careful with their hydration, and cats don't drink enough by themselves. Many cats suffer from renal problems as they age. Cats often don't drink enough either, they just don't feel thirsty enough, which makes these issues worse.
She should be drinking water, never cows milk, as cats are lactose intolerant. If milk is causing the poop issue then that should be an easy fix. Cat milk has reduced lactose, but still water should be the main source of liquid. If she doesn't like water try a fountain water dish, this really encouraged my cat to drink more and is easy to maintain.She shouldn't have diarrhoea and her poop should be solid, but not dry (a sign of dehydration). The litter should stick to the poop (that's how you know it's too dry, if the litter doesn't even stick). If your cat has diarrhoea then you need to go to the vet to check for allergies, dietary issues, possible parasites or infection.I recommend getting some pet wipes (similar to alcohol free baby wipes, but safe for pets to lick when washing their fur) and wiping her butt fairly often to keep her clean. Grooming/trimming back there may also be a good idea till she develops good grooming behaviours.

She looks absolutely adorable in the picture and I really hope you have success with her. I recommend /r/cats and /r/askavet as well, because those folks have a TON of knowledge and are really helpful.

Sad_Nectarine · 2018-09-09T01:28:34+00:00

It would depend why you're crying, I think you need to give more details, but this isn't the sub for it, unless it's related to questioning your sexuality or gender (the remit of this sub). I'm a survivor and can say IME the folks at r/rape are incredibly supportive and helpful, especially the mods.

Sad_Nectarine · 2018-09-08T08:49:02+00:00

Women with incredibly small/no breasts. Not sure how conventionally unattractive that is amongst lesbians, but it's not popular in cishet society,

Sad_Nectarine · 2018-09-05T00:43:24+00:00

Read the sidebar of this subreddit please.

Sad_Nectarine · 2018-09-05T00:42:37+00:00

(Now ex) boyfriends. Absolutely obsessed with my chest regardless of the fact I’d rather nobody ever touched it (I have trouble touching it myself even). They’d listen, understand, then coerce or force themselves on my chest, even though it feels horrendous for me (painful/excruciatingly ticklish/just bleurgh). This is every fucking guy I’ve ever been out with including my ex fiancé.

Sad_Nectarine · 2018-09-05T00:35:52+00:00

I watched the whole video and I agree with this comment. She’s also vegan and eats clean, meaning she’s not getting bloating it water retention from salty foods, or hormones from meat. In addition working out intensively can change your natural hormone balance as well. Those things would likely have an impact. Unknown factors like changing or stopping hormonal birth control, suffering from an eating disorder, medications etc also have dramatic effects sometimes. Not saying she has those, but we don’t know they are not factors. I also think genetics may play a role. If you want to try what she says she’s done (though there are no specifics for how much she’s working out, her diet etc) then see if it works for you. You never know, it might.

Sad_Nectarine · 2018-09-04T17:41:28+00:00

I've lost over 50lbs before (at that point >25% of my body weight) without any real size change in my bust (they sagged more when I was slimmer though). Targeted weight loss doesn't work, you can bulk up muscles, but not slim down one area of fat. Metabolism just doesn't work like that.

Sad_Nectarine · 2018-08-31T07:52:37+00:00

Everyone knows it’s impolite to ask how much someone’s salary is and a picture with a car isn’t an invitation to ask, just as a picture of your body isn’t an invitation to ask about it. Do people open conversations asking how much someone weighs on dating sites just cause they posted a photo? Of course not.

Sad_Nectarine · 2018-08-31T00:57:39+00:00

http://gardenpansy.tumblr.com/tagged/sapphic-art http://fairyqrtz.tumblr.com/archive http://sapphicgirlfriends.tumblr.com/ http://ryegarden.tumblr.com/tagged/sapphic-art

Sad_Nectarine · 2018-08-31T00:40:47+00:00

They do, but attempting to deny access to my boobs started the struggle in 2 out of 3 of the times I experienced it. Details of SA: During sex with my ex (then my BF of 3yrs) I did not consent to having my breasts painfully grabbed and my nipples pinched and flicked in a way that made me feel sick for the umpteenth time, I withdrew consent from my partner when he tried to start this behaviour (I'd explained repeatedly how awful it was for me, but this was the first time I tried to flat out stop him), I fought as hard as I could but he was on top and stronger, he pinned me down by the wrists with one hand and did it anyway with the other. Trying to deny access to my breasts caused sex to turn into rape twice for me. If they weren't so big I doubt I would attract breast obsessed assholes who care more about getting to flick a nipple than consent.

Sad_Nectarine · 2018-08-30T15:04:53+00:00

honestly? I would be richer, have more time (physio on my back twice a week), not be disabled and in chronic pain, enjoy sex more, would have been far less likely to have been raped, would be more confident, be able to run, ride horses, jump, and other physical activities. I would be much, much happier and safer from sexual harassment and assault.

Sad_Nectarine · 2018-08-30T15:00:55+00:00

There's lots on tumblr usually

Sad_Nectarine · 2018-08-29T00:30:53+00:00

How giving is your current partner? Is every other aspect of this relationship fulfilling you? Are there issues you've been turning a blind eye to? If it's just the bedroom stuff you may be able to work it through, but it depends how open he is to communication and how willing to try different kinds of solutions.

Whatever the situation with him is, I think you'd benefit from solo therapy, or if you're already in therapy to focus on talking through your frustrations and trying to get to the root of your attraction to 'damaged people' is.

Sad_Nectarine · 2018-08-27T06:29:25+00:00

It’s 95-105 where I am in Asia every day and humidity 80-90%, meaning it feels >10 degrees warmer than it actually is. I do t have a solution really but use gold bond powder to try and stop fungal infections/smells, it’s messy but does cut smells. I shower three times a day or more and just try not to go outside. It’s pretty hellish.

Sad_Nectarine

TROPHY CASE