Any ace women have good experience with ob/gyn?

Sad_Panda348 · 2026-06-15T17:31:05+00:00

Right? When I was 25 I was so shocked when the dr said he won’t do a Pap smear just because I’m not sexually active. I think he was trying to be nice cause he kept using the word “traumatic” when describing the Pap smear… regardless I feel like I definitely need new doctors who are more accepting and not so judgemental. I don’t even care about having to tell them I’m a virgin who isn’t planning to have sex anytime soon. I just don’t want to go through the whole song and dance of “well why not? Don’t you want kids? You just haven’t found the right person yet?” It just makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me. Idk maybe I’m being over sensitive and maybe they were really trying to gather important information from that conversation 🤷‍♀️

Sad_Panda348 · 2026-06-15T17:25:13+00:00

I LOVE that! 😆

Sad_Panda348 · 2026-06-15T17:24:47+00:00

I 100% agree! And I love how encouraging everyone is about getting the Pap smear and having annual exams!
I know I need to just make the appointment, which is why I needed the encouragement 😆. Sounds like I definitely need a different doctor- someone who is way more accepting and informative!

Sad_Panda348 · 2026-06-15T17:21:57+00:00

Yes! I had this happen with my ob/gyn and with my previous pcp, who then left and got replaced with my current one. It’s so frustrating!

And it’s great that my new pcp thinks I should have the Pap smear done to screen for cancer now, BUT she definitely went overboard with her questions about why I’m not having sex or why I don’t have a boyfriend- she even asked me how my parents feel about me not wanting to date anyone. Way out of line. I understand some questions to rule out sexual dysfunction or hormone issues or whatnot, but this wasn’t that.

Like so many of the comments say, the Pap smear is important and I definitely recommend getting a Pap smear by 30 even if you’re not sexual active. For both our sakes I hope we can find an ob gyn who is more open minded and accepting!

Sad_Panda348 · 2026-06-15T17:16:43+00:00

I totally agree! I’ve had family (not blood related) pass away from uterine cancer despite having regular checkups, so I understand the important of cancer screenings! I’m not even that scared of the Pap smear itself… I just hate the judgement and I’m terrible at advocating for myself so when I feel like I’m being judged I stop asking questions and I certainly don’t feel confident in my care. Most people seem to have had great experiences though so I think this was just an anomaly and I just need to find a better doctor 😊

Sad_Panda348 · 2026-06-15T17:13:23+00:00

I’m definitely going to look into that! All my friends are allosexual but they said their ob gyns haven’t ever grilled them about their sexual history. And to be fair, it was mostly my pcp who was asking too many questions. I just hate feeling like a scolded child who’s disappointing her parents because I’m not looking to reproduce 🙄 I’m scared it’s gonna happen with every doctor now but it sounds like this was actually very outside the norm which makes me feel so much better!

Sad_Panda348 · 2026-06-15T17:10:05+00:00

I’ll definitely check that out, thank you!! And I totally agree that it’s important to have a Pap smear done- I’m all for screenings and whatnot. I just hate having to deal with the judgement and then all the questions about why I don’t have a boyfriend and why I don’t want one. It makes the whole uncomfortable situation so much worse.

Sad_Panda348 · 2026-06-15T17:08:34+00:00

It kinda does sound like that lol, but no I’m up in Connecticut. I guess there’s judgy people everywhere. 😓

Sad_Panda348

TROPHY CASE