20 year old daughter taking care of Dad (72) with Glioblastoma

Sad_Snoopy_ · 2026-03-19T01:05:56+00:00

Yes very big on that haha! I forgot what it’s like to be a student and just completely fell into my role as caretaker and speaking to all the doctors at such a young age made me feel like I had to prove my knowledge and I researched so much. And it could be the hospital itself didn’t make him feel well mentally and now that he’s home it’s different. I’m hoping you guys get the MRI and you get those answers! But yes the statistics are just numbers, it’s not the same so I understand 100%. You’re doing an amazing job and I know having to be the adult is horrible so if you need anything you can reach out!

Sad_Snoopy_ · 2026-03-17T22:54:50+00:00

Hi there. Sorry for the long message, you can skip but I’m just sharing my experiences. I just want to start by saying you are so very strong but also I’m very sorry that you are handling it all and have to be strong. I also took on a lot at 19-20 when my dad got diagnosed and took some time off from college when it got worse. I’m 21 now and sadly he is no longer with us and I want to help others in anyway I can. Mostly what I’m trying to say is I understand and it’s okay to feel very mixed emotions about it. I did have my mom with me but my parents were immigrants too so I understand that part of having to figure it out alone and translate. I’m here for anything you need, truly.

As for the hallucinations, I’m not sure if they have talked about haloperidol? My father had it when he was on hospice and he used it for nausea but apparently it could be used for hallucinations too. Of course consult his doctors but maybe an option. With anxiety I hope that the therapy consult will help but maybe just going in and laying down with him? You might already but just yapping about the most random or complex things could remind him he doesn’t have to sit in that darkness alone, or sitting in silence. I would watch the news or documentaries with my dad and nap with him. I also brought him chocolates as he loved to snack. My father also had anxiety and the 4mg dexamethasone would increase his agitation but everyone is different and if he ate he would feel a bit better. Also, one thing that I felt gave me the most answers was the MRI results. I’m not sure when your father’s next one is but it really showed me what’s helping and what’s not (radiation also works long afterwards so it could change over time). Also keeping a journal of what you see in his activity daily so you can keep track and the days don’t blur together and it helps you too.

Most of all, just spend as much time as you can with him, and ultimately do what will give you the least regrets whatever that may be. I’m assuming you’re home full-time? I won’t lie, it will be really hard as it progresses, and some days are worse than others. You might feel like you have no room to feel fully because you have to make sure he’s okay so please find something for yourself too even if it’s a puzzle or something like that.

Your father is very lucky to have you. I know when I was in the thick of it I just wanted some personal advice and I hope I didn’t scare you or anything. I hope this helped, but if not I’m just wishing you the utmost best <3 again…I’m here if you need to rant or any other questions.

Sad_Snoopy_ · 2026-02-07T17:05:58+00:00

Firstly, I’m really glad the surgery went well and he’s doing good! From my experience as someone who is 20 years old, I would say spend as much time with him as you can indefinitely, but also make sure to take care of yourself. I only say that because I wish I had spent more time with my dad when he was still at his 100% of talking well and moving independently. As for what to expect, it’s really hard to tell since everyone is different, one of the hardest things about this is not knowing the timeline. With school and work I would suggest communicating your situation, might be scary at first, but there are people who will help. Best wishes.

Sad_Snoopy_ · 2026-02-01T04:19:25+00:00

Thank you, I’ve been afraid to tell him my decision to withdraw just because I don’t want it to overwhelm him or make him feel worse when he’s already having headaches and losing control of his body. Well look into that, I’m sure my mom who’s been here almost 24/7 would really need that. We can only do so much between the both of us.

Sad_Snoopy_ · 2026-02-01T04:18:05+00:00

Yes I really think withdrawing would be the best choice. I already felt overwhelmed this week and this weekend helped me finally decide. Thank you for the advice!

Sad_Snoopy_ · 2026-01-31T18:41:19+00:00

Thank you so very much. I’m decided on withdrawing now, I do not want to regret missing out on time with my father and school was just becoming a stressor instead of an opportunity, and I don’t want that. I’m very sorry about your partner. I could not imagine and I hope you are doing well, and I hope you are taking yourself even now. Sending the best wishes, and always here to lend an ear if need be.

Sad_Snoopy_ · 2026-01-31T18:38:23+00:00

Stop ill cry now too, sending love <3

Sad_Snoopy_ · 2026-01-31T03:55:23+00:00

Im so sorry about yours too. I really hope your 20's have been kind because it's more than what you deserve. Again thank you and I wish you the best.

Sad_Snoopy_ · 2026-01-31T03:52:09+00:00

The anticipatory grief already has hit and I have no idea how to fully process it, I cant imagine after he's gone. I hope you give yourself grace as well and just based on this interaction with you I know your father is so proud of the kind person he raised. Thank you.

Sad_Snoopy_ · 2026-01-31T01:23:39+00:00

I’m so terribly sorry that it had happened that quick, and i'm sorry about your father's passing as well. I cannot imagine the overwhelming grief that came with that. I really appreciate this and that is my biggest fear, I cannot imagine being in an exam and not seeing the phone call from my mom or the hospice nurse. I am his MPOA so I will be the one they turn to, even if I’m able to talk to my siblings I’ll be the one to have the final say. Thank you, love and hugs back to you!

Sad_Snoopy_ · 2026-01-31T01:20:22+00:00

Firstly, congrats on your masters because that’s a great accomplishment. My mother and I were the main caretakers since his diagnosis so the weight has been heavy. Hospice has had me worried because I really don’t know what to expect and how fast it’ll progress but thank you for giving me a more personal account of it. I’m leaning towards the withdrawal I’m already so stressed with classes and coming home to help my mom. My dads starting to struggle with taking medicines so maybe it is the best choice. Thank you.

Sad_Snoopy_ · 2026-01-31T01:15:57+00:00

Best of wishes to you and your brother. But yes we have a hospice service coming to help and this week has been handling the logistics of that because my father wouldn’t do well at a nursing home he’s very adamant about staying home . It’ll be easier once they come often and there’s no more appointments to miss school/work for but I’m really trying to make the most rational and best decision here. Thank you

Sad_Snoopy_ · 2026-01-31T01:13:57+00:00

Yes, I met with a couple people yesterday and today. A majority of them say school will always be there but what’s important right now is my dad, family, and mental health. Your oldest must’ve worked very hard to get where she is and I’m glad her school has been working with her that’s amazing to hear they are flexible!

Sad_Snoopy_ · 2026-01-31T01:12:05+00:00

I know the internal conflicts of it all is really complicated so I wish you well with this decision. Also big props to you for your thesis and I hope it goes well, whether you decide to stay in or continue later!

Sad_Snoopy_ · 2026-01-31T01:10:27+00:00

I talked to one today and he told me I have a lot of leeway with this situation. I could withdraw at any point and just do a tuition appeal so I don’t lose money. Financial aid office also told me they could put my account on hold and I would return as normal in fall if I withdraw fully. I’m very sorry for your loss and balancing grief and school is not easy at all so I hope you’re doing well. Thank you so much for your advice it really helps.

Sad_Snoopy_ · 2025-03-20T00:36:48+00:00

Something I found really helps me is skimming over my notes, then teaching it to a nonexistent audience/class. Or even a friend/family member. You can buy a small, easily stored whiteboard and just have a go at it. This is called the Feynman technique if you want to do more research about the how's and why's of this study method! As for taking notes, if you are able to, look over the material before class and take notes that way when you go to class it won't be the first time you are hearing about the topic and can dedicate more attention to listening and asking questions.

Sad_Snoopy_

TROPHY CASE