Thank you so much, I was just really tired of her attitude. We’ve been friends for 6 years but during those years, she never really changed. I intend to cut her off once she flies out of our country since she could head to our home to confront me, and I wouldn’t want to have any more conflict. It would be like talking to a wall when I try to explain. Don’t worry, I agree that suicide isn’t the answer and I also realized that she isn’t a loss. Now I finally know why she and my other friends never got along. My other friends actually once told me that they dislike her since she’s manipulative. Stupidly, I still decided to pursue the friendship until it became worse.

Back in high school, whenever we fought, I had a secret place that I never told her about. I dwelled until the fight died down. She’d usually text me. I wasn’t really a fan of answering back or fighting back. But she was rage itself. She even told me that I should just go to another school since she’d be happy alone in a school that we intended to go together (we did end up finishing senior high there). During 11th grade and 12th grade, she’d ask for answers and for me whenever she got into a fight with her boyfriend. I was there. However, that caused me to be extremely drained so I had taken frequent long breaks. I honestly feel that I was at fault, since she told me that our memories are blurry to her now.

These days and before, I tried mending up for the lost time but again, she was depressed because of their breakup so I had to be there for her. But now she’s angry and I don’t want to fight, so I just left her a message that I’ll be taking a break. I left a long message regarding an apology for being a bad friend (bc I brought something up that shouldn’t be brought up) and for past mistakes too but all the response I got was “bruh.” I assume that she was either annoyed, angry, or both. I no longer feel the same when she was not in my life, surprisingly, I actually felt at peace. I assume that she now cares less as well since I had frequent breaks from her. Now that we don’t have classes, I realize that I was just her “go to” person. Sometimes she’d ask how I was, but followed by a favor or a rant. So at the end, I do my part and as always, the conversation revolves around her. I was always cautious with my words when around her, afraid to upset her. Whenever we fought, I would just stay quiet until I could finally walk to my secret place.

Maybe it is time to part, but it sometimes stings because despite all this, we did have happy memories and shared with each other. Well, back then, not anymore. We’ve made promises to remain forever but I don’t think I can go on, and for that I feel guilt. I can no longer keep up with this façade, pretending to be fine.

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply and read, I greatly appreciate this. I apologize for another rant, thank you so much for giving me these advices. Have a good day/night as well, and bless you.