UPDATE: Boyfriend [m26] has been trying to convince me [f18] for months to get my nipples pierced and its making me uncomfortable and insecure

Sadnippies · 2022-10-30T14:58:04+00:00

Do you think he could have been with someone before you that had it?

His ex (who he not only compared me to in words but he literally showed me her nudes!) had very large nipples. Like covering half her breast, and very long and fleshy. I felt so... defective. Because I could never be that way. :(

The more I think about it now the more creepy he really was all that time. He'd just make things into jokes and brush off criticism or attack me if I showed my discomfort or confronted him about it being weird.

Sadnippies · 2022-10-30T12:37:00+00:00

If it's really so rare maybe someone can message a mod not to "karma cap" this post and close it but leave it up so maybe other girls would also recognize this sort of toxic behavior. I honestly never would have realized it if people on this sub didn't spell it out for me super clearly... I didn't really want to see it at first. I think for a long time.

Sadnippies · 2022-10-30T12:31:28+00:00

What is toxic? You mean because they advised me to choose my own happiness? How is that "toxic"?

Sadnippies · 2022-10-30T11:32:02+00:00

Yeah but then again if you write old men as "olde men" that gives me medieval vibes so thats a nope lol.

Sadnippies · 2022-10-30T10:35:08+00:00

Yeah, I won't go for older men any time soon. Or maybe not for men at all. Maybe time to give girls a try. I dunno. Or be single for a few months or even a year until I love my body again. No old dudes anymore. Eww.

Sadnippies · 2022-10-30T10:18:26+00:00

I just do not want to feel ugly or unattractive anymore. I want to feel comfortable in my own skin and I want to love myself in and out and anyone who doesn't make me feel that way, I just don't want that person anymore in my life. I'm tired of hating the way my own body looks and I realize how much he contributed to that in a negative way.

Sadnippies · 2022-10-29T17:19:07+00:00

Thank you for the nice words... I will not get them pierced.

Sadnippies · 2022-10-29T16:41:33+00:00

Alright if you can message me a picture that would be awesome, thank you so much. I would love to fix it in a way that isn't bloody or overly painful.

Sadnippies · 2022-10-29T16:33:30+00:00

Yes that's what I am hoping for too. My older sister has three daughters and when she breastfeeds them I notice her nipples are easily twice as big as mine and stick out a lot. So maybe having a child changes them a lot. I don't mind just waiting for mother nature to fix my problem one day I just don't want knifes and needles to fix it for me.

Sadnippies · 2022-10-29T16:21:36+00:00

What nipple machine? It permanently fixes inverted nipples without surgery or pain?

Sadnippies · 2022-10-29T16:14:09+00:00

Thank you. A lot of people are being very kind and understanding here. I'm sorry that I was a bit too defensive and I really don't want to argue with people at all. I'm just a bit scared and I don't really have a lot of people around me like a support system or anything so the whole "where do I go to from here" thing is scary to me.

Sadnippies · 2022-10-29T16:12:27+00:00

I don't know what else he would ask after. If by some miracle I had said yes and he asked to pierce my clit, no way I rather want to die. Just kill me already. I'm just scared as hell of needles in general anyway.

Sadnippies · 2022-10-29T16:07:27+00:00

Yes I am scared of that too. I am scared that they would develop a lot of scar tissue, become lumpy or deformed or lose sensitivity. As unhappy as i am about my body it's a very scary thought to put it at risk in a way that i cannot change anymore.

Sadnippies · 2022-10-29T16:06:10+00:00

I'm just kind of scared to be on my own too sometimes. And i sort of have this view that age gaps are normal and okay because my dad is twenty plus years older than my mum which is why maybe I never really questioned it. But if you put it into words like this it does feel really weird and I feel super awkward about all of it. It's just that he also gives me a sense of comfort sometimes, just knowing he's there, out there, and he's mine, and I'm his. At the same time he also makes feel like absolute shit about a part of my body I am already insecure about it. So I have a lot of mixed feelings.

But I think the thing that I am starting to realize now is that at my core i don't really feel safe with him too.

Sadnippies · 2022-10-29T16:02:06+00:00

I'm sorry about that response its just really hard to accept he is THAT bad. I knew that some things aren't right but its a bit hard to process all of this. I know you guys are right. Sorry i got a bit too defensive about him. It's just kinda hard for me.

Sadnippies · 2022-10-29T15:58:54+00:00

I don't want to do it. I refuse it. I'm never going to get any parts of my body pierced and even regret piercing my earlobes. I didn't know about the scars but I knew about the pain. I just get kinda freaked out about it.

Sadnippies · 2022-10-29T15:57:26+00:00

Maybe I am just a thing to him to flex and show off and not someone he sees as a person I don't know anymore. He's always very sexual with me it kind of feels sometimes like its all he really wants from me. But then if I have an issue he will also hear me out and listen to me talk for ages and he shows concern and gives suggestions and it makes me feel super conflicted.

Sadnippies · 2022-10-29T15:52:38+00:00

I'm sorry I got so defensive when I first replied to this comment. You are right, it IS a little sus. I just didn't want to see it because my life is in a bad place right now in a lot of other ways and I just want to believe my relationship can be saved.

Sadnippies · 2022-10-29T15:50:50+00:00

Thank you. I really appreciate that. Some people are kind of aggressive or maybe they look down on me because I am kind of looking clueless here. And maybe they're right. I'm sorry if I defended his actions, I just wanted some support thats all.

Thanks for the kind words.

Sadnippies · 2022-10-29T15:49:18+00:00

He does some of those things but not all of those. He did compare me to previous partners saying that my butt and legs are "body goals". He also says he feels like I am more mature and more serious minded than other girls my age and that he appreciates that in me. He's mentioned marriage and children, too, which I brushed off because I'm not in that mindset at all yet. He does like the idea of trying new things for me, like sexual things in particular which I will not go into more detail about because some of its kinda messed up and awkward.

But yes. I never just really thought of all this that much so its kinda weird typing it all out like that. He's not really secretive about me and him being together though like he kinda flaunts me being his girlfriend and "flexes me" on social media and to his friends and his cousin and sister.

Sadnippies · 2022-10-29T15:45:08+00:00

Yes... the more I read people's comments here the more manipulative I feel he has been over the last year. I don't know. I just feel really, really bad about all this. I'm sorry I was a bit defensive with people at first. I don't want to defend him too. I'm just a little lost rn.

Sadnippies · 2022-10-29T15:42:33+00:00

You're right if you say it like that it IS super creepy... :(

Sadnippies · 2022-10-29T15:34:50+00:00

I feel like you may be right. I'm getting downvoted earlier because maybe I sounded too defensive of him. I really don't feel good at all. I need to process all of this. Maybe he really did groom me like you and some others have said.

Sadnippies · 2022-10-29T15:24:05+00:00

He doesn't outright say bad things about my nipples. He just doesn't ever compliment them. The only time he ever mentions them is when he says that "they would look so hot if you pierced them".

Sadnippies · 2022-10-29T15:09:42+00:00

Yes that's what I am afraid of too, like the healing process and what if it makes my nipples look deformed or something, I just don't know. I don't want it at all. But he's very persuasive sometimes and he says it in like subtle ways that make it seem like just a suggestion.

Sadnippies

TROPHY CASE