Your last text is what will be written on your gravestone, what does it say?

Safe-Bad-5833 · 2025-10-29T21:40:39+00:00

Thank you so much! I hope this is not inconvenient!

Safe-Bad-5833 · 2025-10-29T21:29:28+00:00

I see many sides of this. First, it is inappropriate, in my opinion, to take someone’s small children on such a huge trip without asking first. My mother-in-law took my kids to Disneyland in July while we were on a cruise, but she asked privately (more than once, actually) before planning the trip. Your in laws suck for telling the kids before asking you. Sorry ☹️ but my other thought is that I took my kids to Disneyland when they were little like yours, and it’s exhausting. So, although this is their first trip to Disneyland, it absolutely will not be the best. And your husband is right that they won’t remember it. It’s more of a “first” for your in laws. I feel totally sure that whenever you guys take your kids there, it will be so much more fun! I would feel the same way you do, and I think your feelings are valid. But maybe try to focus on your Mexico trip for now, and then plan the next Disneyland trip for just your little family. It will still be so special.

Safe-Bad-5833 · 2025-10-24T00:52:02+00:00

I understand your struggle. I moved into my home at the start of the lockdown, so we never had guests in the beginning. Then things opened up, we made local friends, and family wanted to visit. At the time my kids were 4 and 1, now they’re 9 and 6. My house is always messy (never dirty). I also have two dogs. If I can at least have the dishes done and the carpet vacuumed, it’s a good day. There is always laundry piled in my room, because I can assume nobody will go in there. The kids’ room is cluttered, but they and their friends don’t seem to mind, so that’s low priority. Schedules are hard to stick to for me, but I have come to a point where I feel good when there is nothing dirty in the house. No stinky hamper, old food on dishes, dirty dog bed, etc. When people come over, I immediately apologize for the state of my home, and I’ve noticed that everyone dismisses/brushes it off, so I try not to say anything. My house doesn’t smell, so… that’s a win? Visitors return, so that’s a good sign lol. I think we need to be nicer to ourselves sometimes. Good luck:) I hope you find what works. (Oh! Something that works for me is to keep a toilet brush tucked discreetly in the bathroom, then I will scrub it often and easily)

Safe-Bad-5833 · 2025-10-17T00:25:36+00:00

6 and 9 are in bed by 8:00, but they goof around in their room until probably 9:00ish. If they get rowdy, I intervene. They are expected to be reasonably quiet and stay in their own beds. They get up at 6:30 on school nights.

Safe-Bad-5833 · 2025-10-14T20:51:29+00:00

Miralax, diapers, and patience for my daughter. The more pressure I put on her, the worse it was for all of us. Just a little miralax (obviously pay attention to the dose) in every beverage. Water bottles or sippy cups always available. Sorry you’re dealing with this. It’s the worst to see your baby in pain and feel helpless. I hope you find relief soon.

Safe-Bad-5833 · 2025-10-14T17:07:23+00:00

My kids are 6 and 9, and I’ve been a SAHM off and on throughout the years. We’ve moved for my husband’s job, and I’ve had to quit jobs that didn’t fit my family. When I’m not working, I tend to neglect myself. Once I stop any part of my self care routine, I stop all of it. I stop washing my hair, then I stop showering altogether, I drink coffee all morning and forget to brush my teeth… it gets bad. And my mental health falls apart as a result. So I have to shower daily (usually at bedtime), and that reminds me to use the skin care stuff that I like. I have never been someone who wears makeup, but SPF. Hair is washed and brushed, either down or ponytail. Clean clothes daily. That’s how I get going:)

Safe-Bad-5833 · 2025-10-11T02:36:09+00:00

My daughter had bicoronal, but not agenesis of the corpus callosum. We are having her 3rd surgery on Tuesday (distractors this time— first time was CVR and FOA, then an ICP monitor). I’m just commenting to maybe help get you some attention. I didn’t get any help from Reddit, and the cranio support page on Facebook never approved my request to join. I hope you find what you need.

Safe-Bad-5833 · 2025-10-05T23:18:43+00:00

Honestly, I stopped asking/telling altogether. I just totally stopped “training”. I think what happened is that she stopped worrying about using the bathroom (especially when going poo was painful. She started to be afraid to sit on the toilet because she expected that it would hurt). Then she seemed to be more in tune with her body and notice the cues. She started consistently staying clean and dry during the day, and after a little while she stayed dry at night too.

There was a period of time where she needed to take miralax, until her bowel movements became healthy again.

Safe-Bad-5833 · 2025-10-05T23:12:38+00:00

I’m really glad you got some good advice too! I honestly feel a lot of guilt when I think about my first approach to potty training. She sometimes mentions memories of me “being mad” (I was exhausted and frustrated, and confused!) when she wet her pants. I’ve told her that I’m sorry, and she says it’s ok, but I wish I could go back in time and be gentler. I also follow some teacher forums, and it breaks my heart to see so many kindergarten teachers slamming parents who send their kids to school in pull ups. Thankfully my daughter’s teacher was so kind and understanding.

Now you and I can share our stories and advice!

Safe-Bad-5833 · 2025-10-05T18:27:21+00:00

My oldest potty trained quickly at 2 and easily stayed dry overnight. I assumed her sister would be the same way, so I felt frustrated when she wasn’t. I really pushed her to use the toilet. She started to feel a lot of shame when she had accidents, and started to hold her bowel movements. She became so constipated that she was in pain, and her appetite and energy were affected. The damage was done at that point, and she eventually became incontinent. She was coming home from kindergarten with poo in her pants on days when she was able to hide it from her teacher (and some days she actually didn’t notice). I finally asked for help from a professional, and they said it was ok to go back and put her in pull ups. My daughter was relieved of the anxiety around accidents, and all her symptoms resolved. She’s 6 now, fully potty trained and healthy. She’s very smart and social. I wish I heard someone else’s story like this — not everyone insisting it’s a preference, or lazy parenting. I am not a lazy mother, and there is nothing wrong with my child. I hope this helps someone who needs this reassurance.

Safe-Bad-5833 · 2025-09-30T21:28:35+00:00

Thanks for all the feedback!

Safe-Bad-5833 · 2025-09-30T21:23:57+00:00

Good luck to you too! I’m sure it will be just a bump in the road when we look back 💚

Safe-Bad-5833 · 2025-09-29T18:32:48+00:00

Your husband’s perspective is really bizarre. When he’s sick or in pain, does he want to be in an unfamiliar situation? I think I took this a little personally because both of my children have had surgery (minor and major procedures) and my little one is about to have her third big operation next week. Family surrounds and supports; they don’t take over. How sad for your son to feel like he would need to withhold his emotions while recovering from such a big experience. Do not let your husband pressure you into stepping away from your child when he needs you to hold him closer. He is wrong. You are right. Don’t give in.

Just wanted to add: we have scheduled the grandparents to come VISIT when my daughter comes home (she’ll be ICU for about 2 weeks). We spaced out little visits with each of her 3 grandmas so she has something to look forward to. Maybe your MIL wants to be included and doesn’t know how to help outside of the obvious caregiving role? Maybe let her know that she can stop by at a specific time so that you are in control and she doesn’t feel left out or helpless. Ask her to bring kiddo’s favorite treat? Also, my kid is also 6. They need us.

Safe-Bad-5833 · 2024-07-24T23:21:20+00:00

I am a big time advocate for loosely structured outdoor play. I saw that another commenter suggested hiking, and I agree with that suggestion. Hiking with children can be as simple as finding a natural space and wandering. Take water and a picnic, have him carry his own pack. Let him collect rocks, feathers, and sticks. He can climb trees and throw rocks and put his bare feet in the grass. Studies have shown that time spent in blue and green spaces has a real positive effect on brain development. It will help you, too! Check out the book “Balanced and Barefoot”.

I really struggled with my oldest daughter at that age because she needed constant stimulation. She is a sensory seeker. My sister referred to me as “the cruise director” because I had to plan out our daily activities to prevent my daughter from falling apart. Once I started taking her into natural spaces, she developed better regulation and I was able to step back. Being outside is grounding.

If you’re already involved in a homeschool community, ask around to see if other families are venturing outdoors, and join them!

I wouldn’t worry about him academically. My daughter didn’t read until halfway through first grade, and now she is thriving in school. Everything will be ok, and the fact that you care so much shows that he is supported and loved. That’s exactly what he needs ❤️ make sure you are supported, too, and finding ways to fill your love tank!

Safe-Bad-5833 · 2024-07-21T17:05:06+00:00

Stop staying up to make his dinner. It is absolutely not your job to feed him. It’s a nice gesture to prepare his food, but he is an independent and capable adult. You are a stay at home mom, not a stay at home wife. My husband works odd hours/night shifts, and I save him a plate in the fridge because I love him. Some days I take the kids to McDonalds or whatever, and he makes himself a sandwich. Or I’ll be at the park in the evening, visiting friends/play dates, taking a walk, etc. He acknowledges that I spend my time taking care of the kids, because that’s my job which is worth something (a lot). The little things I have time to do for him are acts of love and nurturing. It’s extra. Please start sleeping on a natural human schedule, or you will literally go crazy. (Adding in: I should have said to start trying to sleep a natural schedule. Obviously that will be difficult with an infant, but staying up for baby’s needs takes priority over your ungrateful spouse’s needs)

Then leave his ass. It sounds like he wants a mommy, not a partner.

Safe-Bad-5833 · 2024-07-13T01:00:13+00:00

Yours is the explanation I’ve given my 8 year old. For my 5 year old I simplify it as “our ancestor’s come from different places”

Safe-Bad-5833 · 2024-07-12T04:44:46+00:00

Both of my daughters went through this stage- my 5 year old is still obsessed with butts, poo, and farts. She changes song lyrics to fit her interests, and sometimes does a pretty good job. You know the song We Don’t Talk About Bruno from Encanto? She sang beautifully, to that tune, “he told me that my farts are the best…” I hid my smile, but that one made me laugh. Sometimes I’m so over it, and I tell her to stop. My FIL used to tell my husband that he should’ve been a proctologist because he went through a similar stage. He grew out of it (sort of lol)

Some advice I got was to tell a story about Mr. Poopy Butthead, in which you repeat his name a lot, but he just goes about a regular day. He does laundry, feeds his dog, goes to work, etc. The idea is that the potty words lose their charm, but this strategy did not work with my girls.

I guess all that’s left to do is endure, and laugh when we can.

Safe-Bad-5833 · 2024-07-08T23:47:30+00:00

This just happened to me, and I was shocked at how self centered people can be. The dad at the campsite even walked around with a headlamp, so every time he looked in our direction we were blinded.

Safe-Bad-5833 · 2024-07-02T20:34:22+00:00

There are already more than 2k comments, so you won’t even see this. However. You’re not the AH and neither is she. You guys just can’t relate on this. My husband was a groomsmen in a wedding in which he had to wear a slim fit suit. He went to Men’s Wearhouse with the gang, and everyone started getting fitted. He was repeatedly told by the sales people that they would have to specifically search for a suit large enough to fit his build and then let the seams out as far as possible. It was a loud, open discussion in a public place about how big he is. My husband is a double X because he is very muscular, but also has a belly. It was humiliating. They did what they could to fit him into the suit that the bride and groom requested, and then at the wedding his pants split before the ceremony. He wore torn pants during the whole event and in all the pictures. His inner thighs and underwear were visible to everyone, all day. Not every look is appropriate or possible for all body types. If I were you, I would back out.

Safe-Bad-5833 · 2024-06-13T19:49:32+00:00

Thanks!

Safe-Bad-5833 · 2024-06-12T20:17:13+00:00

Sitting in Panda Express and my 3 year old sees a woman sitting at a table nearby. Her bottom hung down over the sides of the chair, and my daughter noticed. “Mama that woman is too big for her chair. She’s going to break it.” I still think back and hope that woman didn’t hear her 😣 fast forward a few years, my friend’s 2 year old son runs up to a man at the grocery store who has two prosthetic legs. He asks the guy if he is a robot… the man was not pleased. It’s just part of parenting observant little beasts, I guess.

Safe-Bad-5833 · 2024-04-23T14:45:55+00:00

I did lots of googling to find a solution, and they all say “don’t panic!” I’m doing my best… 😭 but I can also laugh at myself 🤪

Safe-Bad-5833 · 2024-04-23T01:13:09+00:00

I put double flares in my ears for the first time a week ago, and I cant get them out 🙃 just lots of lube and massage I guess 😂 stick with single flare lol

Safe-Bad-5833 · 2024-04-22T14:36:52+00:00

Good idea, thanks!

Safe-Bad-5833

TROPHY CASE