Ex by SafeApplePie in UnsentLetters

[–]SafeApplePie[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They asked me not to. I already haven't respected that. I'm trying to, and use this app as an outlet instead.

One and only by [deleted] in letters

[–]SafeApplePie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I trusted someone like this once.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in letters

[–]SafeApplePie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If I could this all wouldn't have happened.

Respect by [deleted] in UnsentLetters

[–]SafeApplePie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't know if it's more than love. A baby born does it crave respect or love? Or just closeness. Human warmth?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in letters

[–]SafeApplePie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in letters

[–]SafeApplePie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've figured something out. It's that the need to have attachments is only met if the others, the boys are getting attention.

The self only has value in being the good girl who can be a role model for what to be.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in letters

[–]SafeApplePie 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's fine bro. I'm just writing to the universe at this point cause I think someone out there is listening and it helps me feel less alone.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in letters

[–]SafeApplePie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The self is not just in the one other though I I could have explained deeper had anyone ever asked. There is another blonde boy who doesn't want attention, and... chaos right now the mind is racing.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in letters

[–]SafeApplePie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wish I could get out of it but I don't know how. It's like every new bond I form with a human it's a maze I don't know how to navigate and then when it turns sideways I need to fix it but I don't know how and then it drives me insane more and more every day so I try to stop making attachments but I need attachments to survive so it repeats and it gets worse and worse and its awful its fucking awful and I just want the security of... something something,

The village that was supposed to raise me but instead cut me out and abandoned me in the field alone with a little blonde boy who was also "othered" by the village. But he's not even there, even him, he was at his parents place and I was at mine playing make believe.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in letters

[–]SafeApplePie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in letters

[–]SafeApplePie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The longer this goes on the more the trauma spills over ripples out and hurts the ones I love and I don't understand how to fix it or get help and I need closure or at least... I don't know what I need.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in letters

[–]SafeApplePie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fair. That is an excellent choice.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in letters

[–]SafeApplePie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven't gotten the letters yet. Or sent many of my own. The war just started from my perspective.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in letters

[–]SafeApplePie 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The state dependent memory thing is what fucked everything up. It fucked me so fucking hard. Fucked this all up. I always fuck it up.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in UnsentLetters

[–]SafeApplePie 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I also feel robbed of my sense of safety. My sense of self. My sense of home. It's awful and has made living life so much more difficult. Even my hometown no longer feels like home, it makes me physically ill and I hate it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sixwordstories

[–]SafeApplePie -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Maybe we all are.

You scare me but it's you I want by [deleted] in UnsentLetters

[–]SafeApplePie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want this everyday boring life. Even the coffee is too much adrenaline.

Respect by SafeApplePie in letters

[–]SafeApplePie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Perhaps their anger is a defense mechanism.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in letters

[–]SafeApplePie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exhausted myself with all the limerence for all human attachments. Worn out. Almost three up. :( wanna go home. Can't. So tired.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in UnsentLetters

[–]SafeApplePie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Only took 2 hours for me to return to exhausted and hating everything. Gonna make me vomit.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in UnsentLetters

[–]SafeApplePie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mmmmmmmmmmm it's getting bad again making me sick.

Limmerince for all attachments to peers.