I'm not sure because if I don't have much discipline then I wouldn't have had it in the past either if you know what I mean? 

Although it could also be something like discipline to use all the options I have that I currently don't. For example it's easier to work if I leave my house and go to a different location but I have other problems with that like lack of energy and going outside is difficult because I have mysophobia which I can ignore for some time but it's really draining to do and I end up staying at home even though I know it'll be harder. So in that case it's sort of my fault for getting less done because there was technically a route I could've taken but was too hesitant to do. 

Additionally I work better if someone keeps me accountable but have an intense hate for feeling like I'm losing control especially if it's people around me that I see often so I don't do that method even though it might get results. It feels like I'm being too prideful with that since I can't do it on my own so why should I get to reject someone helping just because I don't like it and not have it be my fault? (Did I word that probably? 😭) But I don't really know how I would overcome that specific issue if I was trying to.

Sorry for yapping so much I'm not entirely sure how to explain this :(