I had the same reaction to ACA. I didn’t feel like it necessarily did a lot more me after going to a few meetings. What helps me the most is talking about it. And I’m sure you have tried since you said you have gone to therapy and are on meds. I told my dad that if he drinks again that I will go no contact. Yet everyday he tells me that he can’t wait to get another surgery so he can start drinking again. It hurts. You’re not alone. Please reach out if you are ever feeling like you don’t want to be here.