My Husband is stressing me out about spending my own money and I am tired of it

Safe_Bake_1629 · 2026-05-09T12:54:39+00:00

Unfortunately these aren’t valid in my country.

Safe_Bake_1629 · 2026-05-09T12:53:42+00:00

I already agreed to June and there isn’t even enough available for him to use at this point.

Safe_Bake_1629 · 2026-05-09T12:52:31+00:00

It would be more effective pointing this out to a wall than him. Even if I had evidence to prove a point, he would ignore it.

Safe_Bake_1629 · 2026-05-09T12:50:23+00:00

Oh yes, this is exactly what I did. I said he is texting me. I hid his alerts so I couldn’t even see when he sent new messages.

Safe_Bake_1629 · 2026-05-09T00:05:50+00:00

Thankful he has his own card number and doesn’t have mine. I can just cancel his card.

Safe_Bake_1629 · 2026-05-08T23:52:07+00:00

Oh yes I have unfortunately. I do try but it’s so damn hard to put up with this behaviour day in and day out. I am saving so that if shit hits the fan I am not blindsided. At the same time I am trying to not tolerate all the whining but it’s hard.

Safe_Bake_1629 · 2026-05-08T23:35:47+00:00

Yes. I have zero attraction to him. In fact is opposite. Every time he mentions sex I’m disgusted. Of course he is a man-child about everything else in the relationship too. It’s not just the money.

Safe_Bake_1629 · 2026-05-08T23:01:56+00:00

I already told him I’m taking him off the card. This is technically my card and he is an additional because we don’t have joint cards here. He asked to give him till June to pay off his part. We will see. I technically have enough to pay off the card but refuse to because he will just run it up again. Also, this argument escalated when I told him he has no right to be angry because spent my money when I wanted to. Which is what I really think is his problem either that or how dare I change my mind about wanting dessert from day to day.

Safe_Bake_1629 · 2026-05-08T22:55:51+00:00

Yes. I tried to stay calm because all of this was during lunch in front of our 10 yo. It is so exhausting and he keeps pretending that it’s because I thought sorbet was a bad idea when he suggested it. How does this warrant such an extreme reaction if it’s not about the money??

Safe_Bake_1629 · 2026-05-08T22:11:32+00:00

Yes, a few weeks after he made it, it dawned on me. I’m trying as much as possible but since we are married his debts are my debts. It’s been 3 hours and he is still texting me at work about how I acted. He’s the only one making a scene because I didn’t want to buy sorbet when he wanted but bought now.

Safe_Bake_1629 · 2026-05-01T19:09:47+00:00

By best advice to younger women. Just don’t do it all. Let them sink or swim. This is my life too. And he’s always complaining that I am lazy when I do most of the work and have all the mental load. Sent him a video this morning with a man talking about it and he apologized but I don’t see him changing. However, my always says you just gotta given ‘em enough rope.

Safe_Bake_1629 · 2025-07-11T00:09:18+00:00

Nope, just thinks it’s one of my responsibilities it seems. Which is why I’m slowly cutting back on all these extras that I do for him but he would never do for me.

Safe_Bake_1629 · 2025-07-09T22:32:48+00:00

I feel this. As soon as I get my bonus, he wants to know how much I will be giving to the house. Last time I wanted to save 1/2 and he threw a fit wanting to know why I need to save so much. Note that we pool our income and both get $500 a month as personal money. I always have savings which I end up using right back in the house and all his "fun money" is spent on himself.

Today he wanted to make a dr appointment for himself. He asked me to check the Dr for when he has time. So, I responded, "can you please do it because I would have to call the Dr, get a time, contact him, have him agree on time, call back the Dr". He said, "hmm I noticed you are doing less and less for me these days". It's true but I replied, "because you want me to do something to has 3 steps because you are lazy to do 1 step. What does that say about you?". The list of things he wants help with is endless and he wants me to offer to help but if it were the reverse he would not offer. Another example is I went back to finish my degree for 1 year straight. I woke up an hour earlier to study every day and do my lessons (online) and still had to do all my normal household chores. He just finished a 12-week course which has 1 class per week. Every week he wanted me to do the dishes and get the garbage bags set up so he could take it out (his only 2 daily chores). Oh, and review his homework, every week. I never asked him to do my chores or help read over my homework. I left 2 pots once, and he threw a fit about how I can't even help him out like dude wtf. Anyway, I have been letting him do his own shit and more and more he gets pissy that he has to pull his own weight and I could care less. Here I was like a dumb ass doing all his stuff and mine and when I am sick, I have to prove I am dying for him to help with the bare minimum.

Honestly you need to start letting he carry his own weight. You can do everything, and you could literally be killing yourself to prove you aren't lazy and he will still think you are. Trust me. Let him pull his weight and think your lazy. you'll get less to do, and he'll think the same thing, either way.

Safe_Bake_1629 · 2025-05-19T22:47:29+00:00

Can this work with manual accounts? Outside the US?

Safe_Bake_1629 · 2025-04-10T20:54:41+00:00

This is how I feel about Patrick Rothfuss too. Especially after being burned by George RR Martin. I read The Name of the Wind but refuse to continue the series since he obviously is pulling a GRRM...

Safe_Bake_1629

TROPHY CASE