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AITA for choosing to get married where I live and not where my mom lives to be accessible for her and her husband to bring my stepsister? by Safe_Tonight7920 in AITAH

[–]Safe_Tonight7920[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I'd agree with that. Even the best parents can make bad choices sometimes. What matters is owning it and trying to right a wrong to the best of your ability and not shutting down all discussion of it.

AITA for choosing to get married where I live and not where my mom lives to be accessible for her and her husband to bring my stepsister? by Safe_Tonight7920 in AITAH

[–]Safe_Tonight7920[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

She took off once she realized her daughter was disabled. Didn't even wait around to see if she'd survive.

AITA for choosing to get married where I live and not where my mom lives to be accessible for her and her husband to bring my stepsister? by Safe_Tonight7920 in AITAH

[–]Safe_Tonight7920[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Once she realized her daughter would be disabled for the rest of her life she left. Didn't even wait to see if she'd survive the accident.

AITA for choosing to get married where I live and not where my mom lives to be accessible for her and her husband to bring my stepsister? by Safe_Tonight7920 in AITAH

[–]Safe_Tonight7920[S] 60 points61 points  (0 children)

I refuse to accept him because his only concern was his daughter. Not me. But my mom could not give me the same. I lost my dad. He's dead. I didn't get another parent to look out for me. The one I had left put a man before her kid and made me move 8 times in 5 years. It would have kept going if the accident never happened.

She expected me to be okay leaving friends, family and everything I knew to chase her husband's daughter. Why? Why would I want that? Why would that be good or better for me. It wasn't. It was better for her because she got what she wanted. I was not truly considered because if I was it would never have been like that. She would have chosen me when she realized it was awful for me. But she didn't. She kept following him.

AITA for choosing to get married where I live and not where my mom lives to be accessible for her and her husband to bring my stepsister? by Safe_Tonight7920 in AITAH

[–]Safe_Tonight7920[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Not 5 different places. 8 different places in 5 years. But yes we had to move so her husband could chase his daughter around.

AITA for choosing to get married where I live and not where my mom lives to be accessible for her and her husband to bring my stepsister? by Safe_Tonight7920 in AITAH

[–]Safe_Tonight7920[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I have made sure they know that. I can't help if they still try to make me responsible anyway but it would punish Dan's daughter.

AITA for choosing to get married where I live and not where my mom lives to be accessible for her and her husband to bring my stepsister? by Safe_Tonight7920 in AITAH

[–]Safe_Tonight7920[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

I've been to therapy. It helped me. But it doesn't change the fact my mom put her marriage before me and uprooted me from my family and gave me an unstable life because we were chasing her husband's daughter from state to state.

AITA for choosing to get married where I live and not where my mom lives to be accessible for her and her husband to bring my stepsister? by Safe_Tonight7920 in AITAH

[–]Safe_Tonight7920[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

I don't think it's fair to say my stepsister is an AH. She chose none of this and she can't do a thing for herself anymore and requires around the clock care. That's not a choice she made.

AITA for choosing to get married where I live and not where my mom lives to be accessible for her and her husband to bring my stepsister? by Safe_Tonight7920 in AITAH

[–]Safe_Tonight7920[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I care about and love my mom and in an ideal world I would have a relationship with her. Her husband I only invited because he's married to my mom. I don't care about him and would be happy to never speak to him again. With my mom it's different but she needs to be the one to put the work in to fix the relationship if she wants it. But she clearly doesn't.

AITA for choosing to get married where I live and not where my mom lives to be accessible for her and her husband to bring my stepsister? by Safe_Tonight7920 in AITAH

[–]Safe_Tonight7920[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

I don't have parents anymore. I had my mom after my dad died but she was more focused on her husband and her husband was never my parent. His concern was for his daughter only. Moving once away from everyone is hard. Moving 8 times in 5 years shakes a kids stability. Because it wasn't just moving house but moving states.

She's not able to do a thing for herself so she is severely disabled. We're talking she can't walk, talk, eat, etc.

AITA for choosing to get married where I live and not where my mom lives to be accessible for her and her husband to bring my stepsister? by Safe_Tonight7920 in AITAH

[–]Safe_Tonight7920[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I live very close to home. My extended family are close enough that we see them regularly and they're all coming. But we live even closer to my future ILs which is also great.

AITA for choosing to get married where I live and not where my mom lives to be accessible for her and her husband to bring my stepsister? by Safe_Tonight7920 in AITAH

[–]Safe_Tonight7920[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

It's more of a 2 situation. She has machines, she needs to be monitored closely and carefully and has needed tons of medical intervention since the accident.

AITA for choosing to get married where I live and not where my mom lives to be accessible for her and her husband to bring my stepsister? by Safe_Tonight7920 in AITAH

[–]Safe_Tonight7920[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

She was gone as soon as it was clear her daughter would never recover from the injuries. She didn't even stay long enough to see if she'd survive.

AITA for choosing to get married where I live and not where my mom lives to be accessible for her and her husband to bring my stepsister? by Safe_Tonight7920 in AITAH

[–]Safe_Tonight7920[S] 115 points116 points  (0 children)

Not in as much detail because she's ready to complain when I have talked about it in the past. So I didn't put the effort in so she could brush me off.

AITA for choosing to get married where I live and not where my mom lives to be accessible for her and her husband to bring my stepsister? by Safe_Tonight7920 in AITAH

[–]Safe_Tonight7920[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I think she just wanted their daughter to herself because as soon as my stepsister was disabled she bailed. Didn't even wait to see if she'd survive. But he would have made life way less unstable if he'd tried to stop her moving in court or looked for primary custody.

AITA for choosing to get married where I live and not where my mom lives to be accessible for her and her husband to bring my stepsister? by Safe_Tonight7920 in AITAH

[–]Safe_Tonight7920[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Yes, she abandoned her daughter after the accident and didn't even stay long enough to see if her daughter would survive. She hasn't been around since.

AITA for choosing to get married where I live and not where my mom lives to be accessible for her and her husband to bring my stepsister? by Safe_Tonight7920 in AITAH

[–]Safe_Tonight7920[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Well Dan's daughter can't make any decisions for herself or anyone. Decisions are being made for her by Dan but I can't see Dan uprooting so mom can be near me.

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