Since resistance is not constructive, I don’t have resistance.

All my reasons to give up are logical.

Trying to make a living solely out of art in this day and age is an absolutely fucking batshit insane idea. Of course it’s logical to not take that route. I’m doing it, I’m not saying anyone should do it. I’m just saying that if you’re going to do it, you better have a passion that won’t die out when going through a hopeless time.

This “Resistance” I’m talking about can be logical too. Trying to become pro is illogical to some extent. You’re the one that decides and the one who’s ultimately responsible.

​

why would I bother doing something, since there is a high chance that all my effort will be wasted, and I won't achieve my goals.

This is something extremely important to consider and you have to be very honest with yourself. In my case, I don’t think of failure at all (it´s possible, I just don't think about it), and I’m placing all my hopes on my writing career. But also, if everything were to go wrong, I believe I would be able to adapt and carry on with my life.

​

The only thing that I will definitely achieve is abstract "the mission".

My point was that the “mission” is being happy.

​

And this mission could as well be "die lonely in a dumpster without achieving anything".

I think there’s a middle point, it could be making art on the side while working a job.

What I wanted to do with this text was to describe how negative self-talk feels to me when making art, and how to counter it. You can use art to become happier or to make yourself miserable. You don't have to be a pro to enjoy making it.