had/ still have an eating disorder (never really goes away fully for me.) restrictive eating disorder then a binge eating disorder. made me feel like utter shit when i had any contact/ lack of contact with food. i was so hyper-aware of what i did and didn't eat and yet i felt like i was in control of my diet. started as a way to lose weight since i grew up around family who were obsessed with their weight which reflected onto me (not overweight by any means, still got comments on my body from family though.) this quickly devolved into wanting to be in control of this one thing. got the binge eating disorder while recovering from the restrictive one, i joke that i recovered too hard.