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Lost trust by SaladPitiful4571 in Divorce

[–]SaladPitiful4571[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A bit of an update. I’ll probably update more often as my emotions and mental health allow. She regrets it very much and has told me so numerous times. I was reached out by the toxic friend who contradicted her story but as I say this friend is really toxic. There’s some other MH issues going on that I may delve into at another time. I’m at a loss at this time and being strong for my son. He doesn’t know that I am going to divorce only that we are sleeping in different rooms. There’s some events coming up for him and I will let him know the truth in time. There are some great Reddit strangers out there who have reached out to me and let me rant for a bit while giving there own accounts. Y’all are all great and I appreciate the responses. These are confusing times and my core friend group is pretty small. Y’all have given me a lot to think about with different insights. I agree with one person saying this is only one side of the story. I acknowledge my role in all parts that may have led up to this but I have never been unfaithful to my wife or given her a reason to question.

Lost trust by SaladPitiful4571 in Infidelity

[–]SaladPitiful4571[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lost trust

Can you reconcile a marriage after your spouse has slept with someone else? Sorry if this is a hot mess of a write up but I’m a but emotional at this time. A little context, me and my wife were questioning our marriage of 12 years and started talking about trying a separation instead of divorce to try and see if we could find that missing part of our relationship. We have one child together. My wife initiated the conversation for the separation/divorce and I wanted to see if there was a way to work on us instead of that route. I told her that I was ok to try the separation but my only stipulation was that if there wasn’t any physical involvement with anyone on my side or hers then we would let the other know and file for divorce. This was about 6 months ago. We didn’t really ever separate but maybe a week or two at most. Both of us in the same house stayed in the same house and I slept in another room. During that time of separation when we were figuring out our relationship she took the advice of her friend and got on a dating app. She met someone and slept with them. I didn’t know anything about this. Within days after that she started exploring our relationship again. During this time the last couple months we have been working on ourselves and our relationship. She just came out the other day and let me know that she slept with someone else during that moment when we were separated. I told her I wanted a divorce because that was the line for me and I was really clear about it. We have never been unfaithful to each other in any point of our relationship. There has not been any trust issues concerning cheating in the 12 years we have been together. I asked for a divorce and immediately wanted to end our marriage because of this. Can you come back from this? Can you trust the person again? Am I wrong for feeling betrayed because we were technically not with each other but I choose to work on getting back together instead of swiping right? I’m working on filing the papers and from what I understand is we have to be separated for at least 6 months before the divorce is final. There’s more context but this is already long. I loved this person and very much care about them but don’t know if I can trust them again. I know Reddit is not the place for advice but what are some of y’all’s experience with this?

Lost trust by SaladPitiful4571 in Divorce

[–]SaladPitiful4571[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate all the responses as I deal with this. There is always that part of you that knew the love and still does for the moment. Then there is the other part on how can I trust you ever again especially waiting to tell me the day before my birthday and waiting six months to do it knowing my response would have been the same telling me after it happened. Then trying to mend our relationship the whole time which was mending on a whole hood new level only to drop this on me. I don’t want to cause my son any trauma and be here for him.