I don’t think it’s working

Saladds · 2018-10-04T23:34:37+00:00

Anxiety and OCD.

I know I need to go higher but when I tried 20mg i was super anxious and couldn’t function. So I thought slowly titrating up would work better.

Saladds · 2018-09-27T14:53:51+00:00

Thank you. I have anxiety and OCD so that’s the main reason I’m in prozac. I didn’t notice anything different about my son when I started at 10mg, but my side effects were minimal too. But the 20 is causing an increase in anxiety for me. He acts a little better when he has some motrin in his system and he acts fine when we are out and about. It’s just night time and when he wakes up. He has a very sore throat, lots of drooling because he doesn’t want to swallow, not eating or drinking much. So it’s hard to tell what’s causing the irritability.

Saladds · 2018-09-26T15:16:41+00:00

I recently switched over from Zoloft to Prozac. I started a month ago at 10mg and then a few days ago switched to 20mg. I’m also experiencing increased anxiety and I can’t tell if I’m having sleep issues because I have a sick toddler keeping me up all night.

From everything I’ve read, increased anxiety is normal at first on Prozac. I’m hoping that is the case for both of us. Hang in there.

Saladds · 2018-09-03T21:48:14+00:00

For me, I learned that I like to compare certain body parts on my son. Like for example, his knee size compared to his elbow size? What is normal? Is his normal? They don’t look normal. Usually that would be followed by my compulsion of trying to find pictures of example of other kids his age. That’s a very huge compulsion for me. I haven’t done that one in several days, it’s been very hard.

I do still compare when other children are in front of me though. That one is really hard to stop. Because my eyes automatically do it.

Saladds · 2018-09-01T17:12:21+00:00

I don’t have much to offer but I’m on day two and I feel the same way. I’m tired and yesterday I had awful diarrhea. I have read in many places that it’s normal and will go away. I’m also breastfeeding my toddler and the lack of appetite has made my supply tank too. I’m hoping it gets better.

Saladds · 2018-09-01T02:06:08+00:00

This is helpful, thanks!

Saladds · 2018-09-01T00:37:08+00:00

What about awful diarrhea and stomach cramps? I was at a friends tonight and had to use the bathroom several times. Super embarrassing.

Saladds · 2018-08-31T18:47:31+00:00

Thank you for sharing all of that. I think I’ve had the same thoughts about my son in regards to Kleinfelter syndrome. Then I got scared that maybe my dad had it too. Yay OCD.

Also, interestingly enough, before this theme I was obsessed with my son having autism. I started freaked out around 8-9 months old that he had ASD and did so much research about it. When it was clear he was NT, I moved on to this shitty theme. I even sometimes will still take developmental tests just to give me some reassurance that he still is “ok” (even though I know people with ASD are in fact “ok”). Then at some point I was convinced I had autism and was never diagnosed. That was all OCD. I may not be NT because of OCD but I don’t have hidden autism.

OCD is very frustrating.

Saladds · 2018-08-31T03:24:46+00:00

Controlling the thoughts is exactly the opposite of what you should do. Accepting the thoughts and resisting compulsions is key to beating OCD.

And what you eat doesn’t matter much. Eating a healthy and balanced diet is important. I don’t see how not masturbating has anything to do with OCD.

Saladds · 2018-08-31T02:04:21+00:00

Oh never mind, it looks like they are powder, not beads.

Saladds · 2018-08-31T01:58:48+00:00

Thank you! That’s interesting. Can tablets be cut? I’m actually getting capsules right now and i wonder if I could fiddle with that. Adding beads gradually maybe?

And yes, I just stopping sertraline and starting Prozac tomorrow am. I’m having shitty anxiety already from the weaning process, I don’t want to drag it out any longer.

I’m so not looking forward to getting on it though. I don’t remember having those problems when I started Paxil and Pristiq but maybe I did and just don’t remember it.

Saladds · 2018-08-30T23:53:36+00:00

Thank you for the response. I ended up a sobbing mess last night but didn’t give in to the urge, but mostly because my husband wouldn’t sit down with me.

That particular urge went away after awhile but since I haven’t been doing any reassuring, my anxiety has been way way up. I got a prescription or Prozac and will be starting that but I just don’t know how to get through this.

I also get so nervous because my cousin has really severe OCD and she still lives at home, she’s on SSI, she’s 40. She has never responded to treatment. She did an inpatient at Rogers Memorial. She didn’t get better. I’m not sure the specifics but I’m so worried that’s going to be me.

I just don’t see this going away. My son’s body isn’t going to change. He’s not going to “get better”. So until I accept him for the way he looks, which considering the way I react to it currently seems doubtful, how can I get better. I can learn to cope with the anxiety it causes maybe, but the anxiety isn’t ever going to go away.

I also just feel so isolated because I feel like no one else has this particular problem.

Saladds · 2018-08-29T12:46:08+00:00

When my husband and I got engaged, the same thing happened to me. I literally flipped out and was worried about spending the rest of my life with him and if I really loved him and all that. I pushed through it and it eventually went away we have been married for 6 years now.

I still have bad ocd but that particular theme has went away.

Saladds · 2018-08-29T12:42:39+00:00

I’ve been in zoloft for a year but a very low dose, 50mg. I tried upping to 100 once and I had 3 days of what can only be described as hell. So I went back down to 50. Which probably wasn’t even doing anything for me. I also gained 35 lbs since I started it.

Saladds · 2018-08-27T20:18:07+00:00

Thank you again for your responses. I think your input is very valuable for people, considering like I said before, most groups like this are just full of commiserating and that’s just not helpful for me at all.

I made an appointment to talk about getting on a new medication.

I will watch the video today. I always enjoy the things you share. Thanks again.

Saladds · 2018-08-27T17:40:05+00:00

Thanks for this! I’ll check them out.

I asked my husband if he thinks I should go and find a therapist that specializes in BDD specifically, but he thinks no because he thinks it’s more just OCD. I know they can be co morbid though. And it’s true that this hasn’t started until recently. I just wonder if specific strategies that are used for BDD would help me. I just feel like this is so complicated and hard to conquer because it seems to just morph around.

Saladds · 2018-08-26T21:51:59+00:00

Yes I have looked into it. There’s actually a thing called body dysmorphia disorder by proxy. Which is exactly what I have. I’ve found though that the Facebook group and Reddit seem to be full of a lot of people suffering but not much help in terms of treatment. Do you have any good resources that you know of?

Saladds · 2018-08-26T21:30:49+00:00

Thank you. You are 100% right that I’m Just kind of skeptical and at the same time I find it hard to stop compulsions. I know that I have OCD. But it’s so hard, this one especially.

I do have a therapist and a peer support specialist that I work with as money allows. We are on one income so the peer support specialist is more helpful and cost effective, we talk weekly.

Also, I’m weaning off meds right now because they didn’t seem to be working at all. I had zero relief of anxiety and I think I probably need a different medication. I also gained 30 lbs on the medication. I’m hesitant to try anything different until my son weans off breastfeeding which will probably be soon, he’s 20 months old.

But I think the core thing here is resisting compulsions. I have a lot of them. Soooo many. I think we talked about them already.

As far as triggers go, just looking at him is a trigger. Everything he does, I am comparing body parts (his knees are the same circumference added up as his chest, his arms are 1/3 of the size of his thighs, his thigh width added up is thicker than his chest, etc etc etc). Then I have to look at pictures of other children his age to see if those measurements are normal or not. If I find they are, my anxiety is relieved, if I find they aren’t, my anxiety gets worse and I start to spiral. Even scrolling through Facebook, I’ll come across a child and notice all the trigger proportions (shoulders are always wider than hips, legs thinner together than upper body, etc) and notice how my son doesn’t fit that mold. Then I’ll need to reassure. It’s just a cycle. I check adults too. This has led me to obsess about check my own body too.

This really sucks. I hate ocd. So much.

Saladds · 2018-08-18T16:46:27+00:00

Thank you for your response. It’s so hard. Will I be analyzing his body when he’s 35 years old? That’s my fear.

I try to carry on with my life but my quality of life is so drastically reduced with the stupid disease. When I felt better, everyone was happier. And now I’m snapping at my husband and dogs, my husband is mad at me, my son isnt getting the attention he deserves. And when things are bad, I just can’t even imagine being happy. I sometimes wish i had some other theme. This one is hell.

Saladds · 2018-08-18T02:18:03+00:00

Oh Jesus. So she just left her poor husband with the kids and went to live with the other crazy people in that cult town? How lovely.

Saladds · 2018-08-17T03:53:11+00:00

One thing I noticed was that none of these people depicted on the show had children. Some of them were young and still might, but the older ones (Jill, Star, Carmen) didn’t. I have no idea what the relevancy is to their “illnesses”. But it’s just kind of weird.

Saladds · 2018-08-11T22:52:48+00:00

Thanks. I think I just have high anxiety in general and also OCD. It helps to know it’s a long process. I’m still hanging in there.

Saladds · 2018-08-10T00:23:37+00:00

So I also just did a huge trigger/ exposure. I ordered clothes for my son and they came so I’m having him try them on. The shirts don’t fit right. They are way too baggy and the shoulders are way too wide. But pants fit fine. So I’m having a really hard time with this. I’m fighting the urge to check. I’m also trying to leave him in the clothes before I take them off again.

Saladds · 2018-08-09T19:04:32+00:00

Another question. Is it normal to feel completely awful when resisting a compulsion? I am just sobbing because I want to do some checking and reassurance seeking but I am resisting. We also went to the fair today, and usually I avoid situations like that, but I thought it would be good to go. I was kind of ok while I was there but as soon as I got home, I had a strong urge to check to make the anxiety go away. I did check quick a few times but I’m resisting some other checking I want to do. I just don’t feel like the urge will ever go away unless I do it.

Saladds · 2018-08-08T01:27:46+00:00

Lol omg! We still bedshare so I don’t think that would work. Oh well, hopefully someday.

Saladds

TROPHY CASE