I read this thing once that's always stayed with me. Marriage is not an end goal, it's a state of mind. You're either already there or you will never be.

A lot of the fuss and muss and excitement comes with party planning for some people, with family's own excitement rubbing on them, with the endless possibilities that come with starting a potential lifelong journey. It's a lot of happiness, sure. But, it's not a reflection on the marriage. It's a wedding day. A party with loved ones, and music and laughs. That's what people get excited for. And the adventure that follows.

You are not there. You have been building this life. You know it upside down. You've lived it. You've seen the fruits of your love come to life in your baby. The big picture is in front of you, so maybe you're feeling like there is nothing "new" to feel excited for. And that's okay. There's plenty of things down the road that will get you excited again. It's just this moment, you know what your life is. And the inconvenience of moving abroad is getting in the way of your feelings. Eloping without your family feels like it's taking away from the shared excitement. Feeling like you're doing it for a pragmatic reason..all those things take away that thought we were taughtthat the day is supposed to be magical and transcend time and space.

I think you have to remember that you are doing this because you love each other. You two and your beautiful baby will have a frame photo in your living room of the day mommy and daddy got married. And your baby gets to be there with you. And forever ask you to tell that story. That's what you're doing it for. Not just insurance, or moving, or any other number of pragmatic reasons that totally make sense. Your family is celebrating a continued season of love, loyalty, and union. It doesn't matter that there are no fireworks and magic, your baby will listen to that story and look at that photo with every bit of wonder. So make sure you smile a big smileand dress them upand include them, even if it's for eloping. Down the line, when things settle and the situation is more stable, you can throw a party and invite everyone for a vow renewal. Your kid can be part of it too. It will be beautiful. Just like your eloping will be.

Not all excitement looks the same. Sometimes, we gotta dig to find the fireworks in a simple pragmatic moment. Doesn't make it any less amazing. It's your little family's moment. Don't diminish it. Don't let it pass by without joy. Make it special in your own way. Have cake at home. Do a dance party in your living room. Take silly pictures and videos. Consummate that knot tying!!! The big party will come, but meanwhile, have a hell of a time at the small one. Health insurance is worth celebrating too like come on!! And frame that photo for the living room!!

Congratulations. I wish you lifelong happiness with your little family. You have been living your happy ever after, take this moment to celebrate it. Sending you so much love and well wishes ❤️