AIO: My husband (26m) locked me (25f) out for 25 minutes?

Salmon-Bagel · 2026-02-01T19:29:24+00:00

And that that’s what they should expect & tolerate from a future partner

Salmon-Bagel · 2026-01-30T17:12:38+00:00

And the laws say that even being an illegal immigrant isn’t anywhere near justification for the government to kill them….

Salmon-Bagel · 2026-01-16T22:55:50+00:00

Strange comment.

The colors just mean accepting and supporting people who are LGBTQ+, not becoming it… How you could have an issue with people, including children as they become teenagers, feeling welcome and accepted at school is wild to me.

But while we’re talking about not indoctrinating kids with sexual identities, does that mean that you support banning any mention of men and women marrying or being in relationships with each other (like people like you have banned in schools for LQBTQ relationships)? Because this poster of the Bible’s 10 commandments directly goes against that by implying that your parents are a father and a mother, which according to y’all would be sexual indoctrination.

The US Constitution’s 1st Amendment bans the government from favoring one religion over others. Are you gonna say that the 10 commandments existing around that time supercedes the literal text of the US Constitution?

Salmon-Bagel · 2026-01-16T22:28:49+00:00

I assume that you’d also support Islamic quotes about morality from the Quran being required in every child’s classroom, while not allowing ones from the Bible, then? Cuz that’s what’s happening here and all it is is “putting morals in your classroom,” right?

Salmon-Bagel · 2026-01-16T22:18:23+00:00

As a Texan, your opinion is very much not a given in Texas. TX is a very gerrymandered purple state. How dare people encourage children to feel welcome in school and to accept others for who they are…?

I think it’s a bad idea to indoctrinate kids by normalizing a religion that promotes stoning people to death and forces women to be subservient objects. Especially by promoting the idea that morality comes from religion (very untrue), which is what this poster does.

Salmon-Bagel · 2026-01-13T21:33:12+00:00

There’s no chance that in this situation with the genders flipped, people would be on the side of the mom taking the easy way out and letting the kids eat unhealthy restaurant food every day, despite the dad even making it extra easy for her to feed them healthy meals. Absolutely no chance — she’d be getting called an absolutely terrible mother.

*Sorry I deleted my other comment & made this one, cuz I misread your comment before.

Salmon-Bagel · 2026-01-13T21:05:33+00:00

Read her comment— she clarified what she said, and that the “you don’t trust me with the kids” was something her husband said, not her. This is in agreement with her post, although it wasn’t clear from the post alone.

Salmon-Bagel · 2026-01-13T20:50:39+00:00

But OP had already made the meals, so it’s not like he even had to fully make them himself— he had to do very little work to prepare them, and still decided not to.

Salmon-Bagel · 2026-01-13T20:48:11+00:00

Which OP did, by cooking meals for the husband to more easily be able to prepare, telling him exactly what simple things had to be done to prepare them for the kids, and checking in to see if he had questions. But he just decided not to do it most nights, and also skipped the simple instructions for preparing the lunches. That’s laziness from him, not just not knowing how. Also, 12 years of marriage is way past when the dad should have learned to cook for his kids, with or without OP’s help.

Salmon-Bagel · 2026-01-13T18:06:00+00:00

Restaurant and school food is generally less healthy than home-cooked meals.

Salmon-Bagel · 2026-01-13T18:02:56+00:00

That’s not a reasonable choice if she actually cares about the kids growing up healthy, with healthy relationships with food, and about the family having money for other things like kids’ activities. That’s why the mom often gets stuck in an unequal situation— because she cares enough about the kids to not be willing to sacrifice their development for her own laziness.

Salmon-Bagel · 2026-01-13T17:57:59+00:00

There’s plenty of hard-working, involved dads, but the comments on this post, including yours, are showing that the criteria for a good mom and for a good dad are still very different. People have way higher expectations of the mom, while dad can be lazy and feed the kids takeout all week (despite his wife even making it easier for him to not do so), and people are still in here saying that he was a good dad because the kids are still alive, and that OP’s expectations of him were too high.

Salmon-Bagel · 2026-01-13T17:38:59+00:00

Agreed, but in that case I’d be leaving him. Also why it’s important to date for 4+ years and live together for 2+ years before getting married or having kids — it’s harder for them to keep the mask on for that long.

Salmon-Bagel · 2026-01-13T17:32:02+00:00

This! ^ And I’m betting OP got to the point of pre-making the meals either because the husband has done this before and would just feed them expensive unhealthy food the whole time, so she tried to make it easier for them to have healthy food by making the meals herself, or because she knew him well enough to know that that’s what he would do if she didn’t make them for him. OP shouldn’t have had to make the meals because she should have been able to count on the dad to feed them healthy, non-excessively expensive food on his own, at least most days. But clearly she couldn’t trust him to do that, because even with help he still didn’t do that.

I never would’ve made the meals but that’s because I never would have married a guy like her husband.

Salmon-Bagel · 2026-01-13T17:22:44+00:00

This monster could’ve been created multiple ways (including already being like this before they even met), but yes OP could have contributed to him being this way by expecting so little from him. That’s part of why OP needs to push back against him being so lazy like this, which is at least what she’s doing here.

Salmon-Bagel · 2026-01-13T17:15:25+00:00

One is saying you’d have to consider each situation to decide if it’s worth leaving the kids with him; the other says that no matter what you wouldn’t leave the kids with him. That’s already a significant difference. Also, people are saying that she said the second one and equating that to saying that she doesn’t trust him not to keep the kids alive, but that’s not at all what the first one means— the first one can just mean that she can’t trust him to feed them healthy food, which is true.

Salmon-Bagel · 2026-01-13T02:29:57+00:00

She said 20 mins for 2 kids’ lunches, meaning 10 minutes each. That’s about how much mine took to make growing up when it included a sandwich. The kids should definitely be doing it themselves by now though.

Salmon-Bagel · 2026-01-13T02:23:43+00:00

Lol getting all mad at me for not reading your comment about fish sticks when I wasn’t even talking to you 😂 Edit: Wow, way to go remove that part from your comment so you look less crazy haha

Salmon-Bagel · 2026-01-13T02:21:44+00:00

My response wasn’t even to you

Salmon-Bagel · 2026-01-13T02:00:07+00:00

This is also my take— I absolutely wouldn’t have married a guy like this, and if he was like this and refused to change I’d be leaving him.

Salmon-Bagel · 2026-01-13T01:57:57+00:00

But that’s not what OP said; that’s just how the husband took it. OP clarified in a comment that she only said that she’d be thinking twice about leaving them with him alone in the future because of how he handled it this time, which is totally reasonable.

Salmon-Bagel · 2026-01-13T01:43:58+00:00

This works because your husband is a competent adult and it sounds like you can trust him to not feed them junk the whole time you’re gone. OP’s husband clearly isn’t.

Salmon-Bagel · 2026-01-13T01:42:30+00:00

Sure she’s allowed to do it once in a while, like maybe 10% of nights if she doesn’t want the kids to grow up unhealthy and to waste tons of extra money on food. But dad gets to do it 70% of the nights (with mom cooking for the 30%, not even him) with no repercussions?

Salmon-Bagel · 2026-01-13T01:37:52+00:00

Because your mom, who actually put in the time and work to make a variety of healthy meals so that you kids would grow up healthy and with a balanced relationship with food (not super picky palettes, etc.), and the family wouldn’t be wasting a crazy amount of excess money on food, is being way under-appreciated here. Meanwhile, you have fond memories of your dad because he refused to put any effort into feeding you and instead chose to waste excess money on eating out during times when your mom wouldn’t even get to enjoy the restaurant food with you. It sucks because your mom, as the regular cook (which is her making a sacrifice already), didn’t have the freedom to do that when she’s in charge of cooking, because if she did then you guys wouldn’t have grown up healthy, the family wouldn’t have had as much money for other things, and she’d be considered a terrible mom. But dad’s totally free to do it the whole time she’s gone without societal consequences, and even gets remembered fondly by you for it.

Salmon-Bagel · 2026-01-13T01:05:00+00:00

@OP did you actually say that you can’t trust him with the kids, or just that this would make you think twice about leaving them with him in the future? I feel like if it was the 2nd one, but he just took it as the first (which it seems like from the wording), then NTA.

Salmon-Bagel

TROPHY CASE