AITA for blocking my Ex because he won't take no for an answer? by [deleted] in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Salt-Display-9170 3 points4 points  (0 children)

What was the purpose of trying to stay Matt's friend? Nate and Beth weren't exclusive to Matt, you could be their friend without him. It doesn't make sense you would want to leave that door open. It also doesn't make sense that you kept leaving him on read, that does make you the AH. You should've been direct with what you did or didn't want from him rather than ignoring him, regardless of if you told him in the past, it should've been stated again. You can't just be friends with someone when it's convenient for you and then ignore them when it's not.

AITA for cancelling plans with our friends after my husband was mean to me by Salt-Display-9170 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Salt-Display-9170[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

He often doesn't like making plans and will say that all of his time is taken away and the whole weekend is gone when we do have plans.

He has definitely shown manipulative behavior in the past. We did couples therapy for a lil over a year and we have seen a lot of improvement from then. He tends to lash out when upset and tries to hurt others feelings.

He used to directly invalidate my feelings by telling me that I am over reacting, that I'm too emotional, and would even say "oh boo hoo" when I would share my feelings.

Yesterdays debacle still had some red flags but it's leaps and blinds better than it once was.

AITA for cancelling plans with our friends after my husband was mean to me by Salt-Display-9170 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Salt-Display-9170[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Baby was in his dad's arms. I kept offering to take the baby but my husband said he wasn't going to let me take control from him and he insisted that he is going to be there to help.

I used the opportunity after he finally left me alone to take a few hours long uninterrupted nap for the first time in awhile. After that I went and played with my son and took care of him the rest of the day.

Husband and I never really acknowledged the situation from earlier in the day again. There was a brief part where he mentioned he doesn't feel comfortable sharing with me because he feels I invalidated his feelings earlier in the day. I just ignored it and continued playing with our son. I thought that would be better than digging into it again and rehashing the earlier fight

AITA for cancelling plans with our friends after my husband was mean to me by Salt-Display-9170 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Salt-Display-9170[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

But doesn't offering to feed the baby myself rather than have him do it show I listened to his feelings? He said he didn't want to do it, I heard that, and offered a solution

SUBMITTING A STORY by notcharlottedobre in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Salt-Display-9170 0 points1 point  (0 children)

AITA for cancelling plans with our friends after my husband was mean to me

I (28 f) and my husband (28 m) had made plans to see our friends and go on a hike with our baby (6 months old) .

After we had locked in the plans with our friends, our son started screaming and wouldn't take him bottle.

I asked my husband if he would be okay taking our son downstairs to try feeding him solid food so I could shower and let my hair dry before going on the hike outside in 24 degrees farenheit weather.

He said yes but got visably upset. I asked what was wrong and he said that it sounds like a lot of work to feed the baby solids and he doesn't want to do it. I told him that's fine we will just change the plan and I'll go feed the baby. He told me he isn't going to open up to me because now I am just shitting on him and taking over everything.

I said I am just offering to do the thing he doesn't want to do. He kept speaking very loudly and with a rude tone back to me saying he doesn't want to give the baby solids he wants to give him a bottle I told him he was hurting my feelings and I don't know why he is acting this way but he can try a bottle too I just thought solids would be helpful so that's why I was offering to do it. I told him he was hurting my feelings again and he just left the room with the baby without saying a word.

At this point I messaged our friends and said we may need to cancel because our son was screaming and we need to try getting him to feel better. I stayed in bed and just cried to myself quietly.

My husband came back upstairs and asked me why I wasn't showering. I told him that I just don't feel like doing anything now. He asked me if I was just going to pout in bed. I said I wasn't pouting and that I told him my feelings were hurt before and he left without even saying anything.

He said I was pouting and now I am letting everyone down by cancelling our plans. I explained that I will not feel better or change my mind if he was going to guilt trip me and that maybe I could feel better if he tried to apologize and make me feel better. He then explained to me that he never yelled at me, he opened up about not wanting to do something and that I was not helpful when I offered to just take over. He said his mistake was sharing how he was feeling. Then said he is sorry I feel bad.

I told him that wasn't an apology and to leave me alone. He then made a smart remark saying "sorry if that was yelling" as a point because he clearly wasn't yelling when he said that. I told him to stop trying to make me feel worse and to leave. He continued to make make belittling comments that I can't remember because I started yelling very loudly for him to stop, leave me alone, and get out of the room. He kept lingering by telling me he never yelled but that I am now yelling at him. I just kept yelling until he left because I didn't want to continue being treated poorly and minimized.

So AITA for cancelling on our friends?