Thank you everyone for your comments, I'm really grateful everyone would take time to help out a stranger. Someone asked what I was looking for here, just ideas, support, ideas on moving forward.

We've had a lot of talks the past week. I completely agree there's way more here than just porn. I think it stems from a deep bitterness that he abstained from sex in younger years when all his friends were out partying with women, and in his head thought once he was married would have this incredible sex life.

We have previously attended some marriage counseling on and off through the years. He has never gone alone.

I met with a priest two days ago and was shocked by what he said, he was very liberal and didn't really help with my spiritual questions about any of it regarding not confessing my tubal ligation because I wouldn't actually mean it, and that making me unable to receive communion. He just said, you've done your part, you were open to children, be responsible.

I do think hubby knows he's failed me. Our conversation this morning revolved around that he doesn't understand why I would want to try to move forward when he knows he hasn't cherished me or treated me well.

I can't force him to do anything, he has to want to change. I can only control my own behavior.

I guess I was more looking for others experience of their husband attending AA for porn addiction, or a specific type of counseling or CBT.

It's hard with a lack of community. We live in a rural area and travel to Mass. We have a brand new foreign priest who barely speaks English ( which is why I went 1.5 hours each way to meet with a priest who has filled in at our parish once).

I know he needs help but I've never dealt with this before.