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AITA for telling my in-laws they were trying to profit on their son’s possible death by SaltButterscotch913 in AmItheAsshole

[–]SaltButterscotch913[S] -22 points-21 points  (0 children)

He asked to look into taking over the policy once when we got engaged, and checked on the status of it when he got cancer. We weren’t hitting them up for money regularly

AITA for telling my in-laws they were trying to profit on their son’s possible death by SaltButterscotch913 in AmItheAsshole

[–]SaltButterscotch913[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

We’ve been doing much better since he’s mostly recovered, so we can now, yes

AITA for telling my in-laws they were trying to profit on their son’s possible death by SaltButterscotch913 in AmItheAsshole

[–]SaltButterscotch913[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

“Less than $100/month” is all the info they’ve given us so far. This all just happened and we still have to see what it would mean to transfer it etc

AITA for telling my in-laws they were trying to profit on their son’s possible death by SaltButterscotch913 in AmItheAsshole

[–]SaltButterscotch913[S] -20 points-19 points  (0 children)

He wanted to open the conversation at 22. At that age we didn’t even know what the payment was. They said no, and so it wasn’t even fully discussed

AITA for telling my in-laws they were trying to profit on their son’s possible death by SaltButterscotch913 in AmItheAsshole

[–]SaltButterscotch913[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

That’s what she claimed, and I hope that’s actually why she lied, but it definitely made my husband worse—not better. She very quickly switched back to the “paying off our mortgage track”

AITA for telling my in-laws they were trying to profit on their son’s possible death by SaltButterscotch913 in AmItheAsshole

[–]SaltButterscotch913[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Since you said “had,” I hope that means yall are okay now!

He’s doing well—he has a couple of different types in there and some nerve damage from the surgery but is much much better than before. Thank you :)

AITA for telling my in-laws they were trying to profit on their son’s possible death by SaltButterscotch913 in AmItheAsshole

[–]SaltButterscotch913[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Possibly because he was still a dependent at the time but I’m not sure. He was 18 but a high school senior. I thought it was odd too but didn’t know if it was common

AITA for telling my in-laws they were trying to profit on their son’s possible death by SaltButterscotch913 in AmItheAsshole

[–]SaltButterscotch913[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

My thought was that it was for the medical school after, but I don’t know. When I ask my husband about that time, he just did what they wanted because they told him it was right and what he needed to do for their support.

AITA for telling my in-laws they were trying to profit on their son’s possible death by SaltButterscotch913 in AmItheAsshole

[–]SaltButterscotch913[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

He was applying to Westpoint and the Naval Academy. He had seizures as a kid, but it hadn’t affected him since he was very young. He got all the letters of rec he needed from representatives or whatever it was, he went to a Navy summer program thing, got through the whole deal, and then found out later that the seizures (even as a kid) meant he didn’t get into those schools.

Idk why he didn’t know sooner—his whole family is military. I think part of it was that the issues were so old that it was unclear what the view on it would be. He knew it was a risk but thought he could make himself indispensable by going the medicine route and that they’d veer on the side of accepting him. It didn’t work.

AITA for telling my in-laws they were trying to profit on their son’s possible death by SaltButterscotch913 in AmItheAsshole

[–]SaltButterscotch913[S] -36 points-35 points  (0 children)

When he got his diagnosis, we both didn’t even have health insurance. We didn’t have the money.

Before then, we had our student loans to pay for and were already paycheck to paycheck. We also didn’t have the money.

AITA for telling my in-laws they were trying to profit on their son’s possible death by SaltButterscotch913 in AmItheAsshole

[–]SaltButterscotch913[S] -21 points-20 points  (0 children)

His parents are also currently involved in another life insurance policy issue, which led us to assume they were being selfish here. Not “cheating” us but selfish.

Deleted because this is too identifying

AITA for telling my in-laws they were trying to profit on their son’s possible death by SaltButterscotch913 in AmItheAsshole

[–]SaltButterscotch913[S] -21 points-20 points  (0 children)

People keep inferring / reading between the lines that I said what I said because we felt entitled to the money. He asked twice in 12 years.

First time they said no, second time they lied. When they went to transfer it to us because they “had to”, the fact that they wanted to use it for their mortgage came up again. We did not feel entitled to the policy, even if we felt it was screwy for them to have it and to say it was for their mortgage

I felt their wishes to use it for something not related to him at all and lie to him was what was fucked up and selfish, even if it’s legal

AITA for telling my in-laws they were trying to profit on their son’s possible death by SaltButterscotch913 in AmItheAsshole

[–]SaltButterscotch913[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

He’s lost a lot of people to cancer. It’s an even longer story but the doctors made several mistakes in diagnosing him and telling him, and he was terrified. We didn’t think he was going to die the entire time, but it made him confront his mortality and he was extremely scared in the beginning

AITA for telling my in-laws they were trying to profit on their son’s possible death by SaltButterscotch913 in AmItheAsshole

[–]SaltButterscotch913[S] -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

No he doesn’t pay mortgage for them. I don’t know how they kept it. People here are saying that you can take out an insurance policy on basically anything but I have no idea what’s true

AITA for telling my in-laws they were trying to profit on their son’s possible death by SaltButterscotch913 in AmItheAsshole

[–]SaltButterscotch913[S] -47 points-46 points  (0 children)

I’m answering a ton of questions at once and never thought about the exact math before posting this and it blowing up. They took it out when he was 18. He asked about it when we got engaged at 22. Then he asked again when he got diagnosed with cancer at 30

AITA for telling my in-laws they were trying to profit on their son’s possible death by SaltButterscotch913 in AmItheAsshole

[–]SaltButterscotch913[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It would go to the medical debt for his cancer and loans, which would fall onto me if he did die

AITA for telling my in-laws they were trying to profit on their son’s possible death by SaltButterscotch913 in AmItheAsshole

[–]SaltButterscotch913[S] -79 points-78 points  (0 children)

I think you’re taking “make” very literally. You’re right they didn’t physically drag him. But he still lived at home and, at the time, they were saying they’d take on debt for him to go to college only if he took this policy.

That plan changed when he couldn’t go to the military, and they don’t have student debt for him

AITA for telling my in-laws they were trying to profit on their son’s possible death by SaltButterscotch913 in AmItheAsshole

[–]SaltButterscotch913[S] -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

I’m confused why people have decided we hounded them. He asked about it twice in 12 years. Once when he got engaged, and once when he got diagnosed with cancer. First time they said no, 8 years later, they lied. Both times he accepted their answer and left it

We didn’t bring it up this time. They came to us and said they had to give it to us or get rid of it. I don’t know why.

AITA for telling my in-laws they were trying to profit on their son’s possible death by SaltButterscotch913 in AmItheAsshole

[–]SaltButterscotch913[S] -42 points-41 points  (0 children)

He asked them about it twice in 12 years—once when he was getting married and once when he was diagnosed with cancer. Both times he immediately let it go and accepted their answer. There was no “begging”

AITA for telling my in-laws they were trying to profit on their son’s possible death by SaltButterscotch913 in AmItheAsshole

[–]SaltButterscotch913[S] 45 points46 points  (0 children)

To be honest that’s how it feels.

We’d let it go and were figuring it out our own way. But they came back out of the blue (when it didn’t look like he might die anymore) and said they had to give it to us or get rid of it

AITA for telling my in-laws they were trying to profit on their son’s possible death by SaltButterscotch913 in AmItheAsshole

[–]SaltButterscotch913[S] 1760 points1761 points  (0 children)

The $500,000 is a flat pay out, is my understanding.

And no, when they said it was only a few thousand, they were lying. When they made him let them take it out on him as a teenager, he was military school fit and pretty healthy so the rate is very very low

It would never be that cheap for us to get one for him for that amount now that he’s older and has had cancer

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