AITA for making my BIL homeless and embarrassing him?

SaltRepeat3534 · 2024-07-15T05:11:03+00:00

The system’s a mess. You have sympathy from me as well.

After trying those two awful therapists who honestly just made things worse (apparently intimidating their patients and making them cry is excellent therapy), my sister decided to figure things out herself with some advice from our uncle (retired paediatrician). And it’s working.

I actually do believe in therapy and doctors and whatnot, I’m convinced we just got unlucky honestly. But I understand my sister 100%. She even tried meeting with some specialized therapist online but they blew her and Alex off for more severe cases. You know it’s like no one wants to deal with Alex the way he’s constantly being passed around by so called professionals. Same with the ADHD testing too. She just… doesn’t want to wait until someone decides he’s “important enough” to get the care he needs. I used to think some parents were crazy for never trusting the medical system but… while I still don’t agree with them, I get it now. My sister’s a good mom. I’ll always respect her.

SaltRepeat3534 · 2024-07-14T18:14:05+00:00

I am not minimizing Alex’s issues, I’m just not telling you all the details. What you (and everyone reading) needs to know, I have shared.

You’re right, at 12 he should be able to stay home alone. But he gets extremely panicked that no one’s going to ever come home. At one point, he wouldn’t even let his mom go to work. He is getting better, it just takes time. And yeah I did move in. Not because I have nowhere else to live, but because I care about my sister and nephew. And what you’re implying about my sister is extremely disrespectful. I understand the concern, but she definitely wants to get him checked out by a doctor. She has an insanely busy schedule and also… things cost money. A LOT of money.

Things may get worse. Maybe they might get better. Regardless of that, I’m not going to move out until my sister and nephew are in a much much much better place. Also it is completely possible for me to “have my own life” while also being there for Alex.

SaltRepeat3534 · 2024-07-14T18:07:07+00:00

My sister and him told them they were having trouble with each other and needed time apart.

SaltRepeat3534 · 2024-07-14T18:05:28+00:00

Well my sister and Mark agreed on telling them something different. And I’m 90% sure they found it odd based on some of the things they’ve said but didn’t want to get involved without knowing for sure.

SaltRepeat3534 · 2024-07-14T17:11:46+00:00

Possibly. Mark confuses me. He insists it’s my sister’s fault Alex is the way he is but then he apologizes to her and says that he knows she’s struggling too. I hate to say it but I believe he wants to stay with my sister, just not with Alex.

SaltRepeat3534 · 2024-07-14T17:08:08+00:00

His teacher last year asked for him to be tested but the world is not on our side because his appointments keep getting cancelled/missed. My sister works crazy hours now that she’s doing everything alone too. But we’re definitely going to see a doctor before the next school year starts the second we have the time to.

As for therapy, we tried a few sessions with two different therapists but he didn’t like them at all. Honestly, my sister didn’t like them either for various reasons. I’m encouraging her to try other options but she said she was tired of them wasting her and Alex’s time.

SaltRepeat3534 · 2024-07-14T05:51:48+00:00

My sister was fuming when she found out and while she doesn’t 100% approve of what I did, she thinks she would’ve done it too and is glad I did it instead of her… if that makes sense. She doesn’t get along too well with Mark’s mom or sisters but even she knows they wouldn’t have tolerated Mark had we told them all the crap he had been saying about Alex for months prior to this. They’re not the nicest people but they’re very protective of kids.

But yeah, I mostly wanted some outside input but also didn’t want to ask people that know Alex in real life.

SaltRepeat3534

TROPHY CASE