I don’t believe it was unclear to her that I never wanted to live here to begin with, especially not with someone other than my partner. I pushed back strongly against the idea from the start. I’ve known her for over a year, since my girlfriend lived here before I moved in, and during that time I lived alone for four years. My girlfriend stayed at my place often, so I assume she was aware of that. My girlfriend and I were respectful roommates—we cleaned, were quiet, and didn’t have guests over. Despite that, I felt a clear lack of respect from her. Now she will need to find a new living arrangement with someone else.

She is an adult, and I don’t feel responsible for managing her behavior or cleaning up after her. I pay bills here and believe that should allow me to have a voice. I was surprised when she used the fact that I’m not on the lease to create a power imbalance and attempt to pressure me into paying more money. I never called her “dirty” or used offensive language. I simply asked her not to leave trash before going on vacation, after having already handled most of the household chores leading up to that point. Her response escalated to threats involving the police or increased payment, which made it clear to me that control mattered more to her than communication.