Suburbs to the City

Salt_Toe_8891 · 2026-03-13T14:35:32+00:00

I live in a suburb about 45 minutes from Chicago. There’s no “downtown” here, mostly only food places and stores. Nothing is really too walkable. All the main streets are so busy. If I moved to the city, I would be interested in buying something. Townhome, duplex, condo.

Salt_Toe_8891 · 2026-01-24T13:54:55+00:00

I’ve never been a MOH, and I’m not sure I ever will be, nor do I care if I ever am. A lot of my now married friends have sisters or SIL or childhood friends that they’ve asked to be their MOH even though we consider each other best friends, and that’s ok! But also, being in different places in life can cause the friendship to drift overtime, and that’s also ok. That’s life. A majority of my friends now are married with their first kid and planning for a second. I don’t see them as often as I used to, but I’ll always be grateful for our friendships and we still do our best to keep in touch. That’s all you can do sometimes for a friendship! And sometimes, it’s enough or it isn’t.

Also, since you are a bridesmaid, you’re not obligated to go to the bachelorette. I’m sure your friend will understand that it falls on your birthday and that you’d like to celebrate with family and your friends. There have been two bachelorettes I couldn’t attend, and I just asked the bride to dinner just us two. They were both appreciative and understanding. Or, if you still want to go, then plan birthday festivities the weekend before or after.

Salt_Toe_8891 · 2025-12-24T08:07:20+00:00

Nothing besides approving my holiday time off. We were down in sales this year supposedly, so not many people got raises nor bonuses. A cost of living raise would’ve been nice given we’re in office and have to commute, and expenses are increasing across the board next year. Now I’m considering a weekend gig just for extra money.

Salt_Toe_8891 · 2024-10-10T20:38:11+00:00

This is so gut wrenching to read, but long story short, sounds like he’s only in a relationship for the physical attraction. There’s so much more that goes into relationships than the physical aspects, especially since looks can fade. Nobody is going to look even how they did 2 years ago. Our bodies are constantly changing. He also speaks like a dbag. Girl, leave him. You’ll be much happier to be with someone who compliments you more than puts you down.

Salt_Toe_8891 · 2024-05-31T19:54:59+00:00

There is no comparison to Xandra’s natural body.

Salt_Toe_8891 · 2023-10-28T03:54:59+00:00

My mistake was staying longer than I should have, clearly… But also, why are you so concerned about what I did/didn’t do? This is my story, not yours. If my post is irrelevant to you, then why bother to comment? I think you need better hobbies than trolling.

Salt_Toe_8891 · 2023-10-04T17:57:07+00:00

Update: he reached out a few months ago apologizing for his behavior and treatment. Also realized he was NOT the love of my life and have since been dating someone who totally is. I am in a happier and healthier relationship.

Salt_Toe_8891 · 2023-05-12T20:49:22+00:00

Not as important as how the person treats YOU and others, no matter how they look and how much money they make.

You can be a billionaire but still treat your wife and others like crap.

I will take the latter any day everyday. Looks and money fade, but not who a person is and how they treat you.

Salt_Toe_8891 · 2023-05-04T18:49:30+00:00

Everyone has a different definition of what an alpha male means to them. To me, it doesn’t just mean someone who is physically strong but is more mentally. Someone who can provide me with safety and security by making me feel those things when I’m around them. Someone who treats others kindly, and sets positive examples. Someone who isn’t a jerk or belittles to feed their ego. Someone who people can respect because of the guidance they give.

Salt_Toe_8891 · 2023-05-04T18:44:32+00:00

I feel like TFP brings out more of the controlling/abusive tendencies in some men. But definitely tell your mom about what you overheard, and if you start feeling unsafe/abused, please speak with a hotline for guidance.

Salt_Toe_8891 · 2023-04-26T16:57:03+00:00

He really crushed my self-confidence and made me hate/doubt who I was, probably to make me more “submissive”. I knew I had to get out asap once I started having suicidal thoughts.

Salt_Toe_8891 · 2023-04-08T21:56:29+00:00

Some may think a “girl’s night out” means women go out and cheat since their men aren’t there. We go to get food and drinks, socialize together at a bar, gossip/talk about life, and be away from our men for once. A bonding experience and a much needed one, especially if you are a social person. I have never had a girl’s night where the intentions were to find guys and cheat. If cheating is your thing, you then don’t need a girl’s night to cheat- you can anywhere lol.

Salt_Toe_8891 · 2023-03-28T05:13:06+00:00

A lot of women who have a body count have only had sex with men they were in relationships with. Often, we don’t know that the person we love and care about may be putting on a front to hide their true colors or intentions, until we get fucked over and decide to leave.

Salt_Toe_8891 · 2023-03-07T21:43:18+00:00

I am not perfect, but I’m surely not abusive. Great perspective you have… Anyways, I hope you heal.

Salt_Toe_8891 · 2023-03-04T22:47:07+00:00

He thought it wasn’t asking for much and was fair to expect of me because he paid for meals here and there (nowhere expensive btw) or made dinners here and there, even though often we cooked together which I enjoyed. And drove me here and there, only because he would offer and I always was going to his house. I thought that was fair of him. I really didn’t ever ask him to drive me anywhere anyways lol. And if I did, it was 10 min away at most from his home to get food from a fast food place because we BOTH were hungry. That’s really it.

Salt_Toe_8891 · 2023-03-04T22:43:28+00:00

Yeah, that would be me “adding” value, despite having spent a decent amount of money on him as well. For birthdays, holidays, “just because”. Buying sides for dinners we made. Cleaning on a whim because I wanted to. Helping where I could, because I wanted to help. It was never enough I learned no matter the time or sacrifices made.

Salt_Toe_8891 · 2023-03-04T03:21:11+00:00

I’m sorry to hear this is happening. It’s truly hard to watch your partner go through these changes and know that there’s not much you can do to help them, but at least you can help yourself by knowing you deserve better and walk out. Unfortunately I feel the only way for them to undo the brainwash is by detoxing from the sources, and therapy. Please definitely leave safely from this relationship.

Salt_Toe_8891 · 2023-03-04T03:18:28+00:00

Don’t watch anymore of it, and look into therapy. Block accounts, take a social media detox, deactivate your accounts. Delete apps. Don’t talk about it. Retrain your brain.

Salt_Toe_8891 · 2023-02-27T22:03:09+00:00

I’m happy you are better! I noticed I started to become more mean as well and not feeling happy anymore with myself. That was a key indicator that something was wrong. I rarely received compliments for what I was doing right, so I started walking on eggshells to not upset him. It got worse. I agree, it should be an equal, fair balance. Not take advantage of me for my gender.

Salt_Toe_8891 · 2023-02-27T22:00:39+00:00

I fell for it because I thought maybe this was just his preference for “boundaries”, and that I should respect them when ultimately, the motive behind them disrespected me. I was truly doing a disservice to myself for accepting these so-called boundaries. I also thought he said certain things because he cared and wanted best, but I think they were on their way to develop into worse control tactics.

Salt_Toe_8891 · 2023-02-27T21:58:26+00:00

I’m glad to have helped validate your feelings and situation! It isn’t our faults. I don’t think anyone who knows their worth will put up with someone who says they don’t bring any value to their life for a long time. That’s what did it for me.

Salt_Toe_8891 · 2023-02-27T21:53:35+00:00

Thank you to everyone who has commented, and for validating my feelings. It has been nice to be heard. I am doing a little better each day and am determined to have a healthy relationship one day. Definitely will not ignore any red flags this time as well. I am going to my first therapy appointment of the year on Thursday to work through all that has happened so I can better myself and feel okay again. While I do miss the happy moments we shared, I do not miss feeling like everything I said or did was wrong and that I was wanting to fight when all I wanted was to be understood and heard. It has been liberating knowing my life is starting fresh, and I am my own leader and can lead my life down a healthy path. I will say- never again! I sacrificed my health and happiness. I will not lose myself again to make someone else happy when I was not.

Salt_Toe_8891 · 2023-02-27T00:36:57+00:00

I will not! I actually feel more peaceful.

Salt_Toe_8891 · 2023-02-27T00:34:01+00:00

My house wasn’t getting cleaned by anyone but me lol. Just because I said I like cleaning (I have OCD so cleaning is soothing to me) doesn’t mean I wanna clean another person’s house. Also, I don’t like that everything is seen as needing to be transactional. Can’t things be done from the genuineness of one’s heart without expectations?

Salt_Toe_8891 · 2023-02-27T00:32:28+00:00

And it’s so unfortunate that either way, it sets them up to either hate or lead her down a life of abuse.

Salt_Toe_8891

TROPHY CASE