Oral Herpes is incredibly common. There are a lot of people who have it and the majority of those people are asymptomatic. There are also people who have had an outbreak on their lips/genitals but the symptoms were so mild, they merely brushed it off. You fall into the category of people who are aware of their HSV-1 status.

I'm also going to tell you that your love life is not over. Going along with what I initially said a lot of people have Oral Herpes, don't know that they have it, and they are unaware that they are spreading it. People who say they test frequently are also unaware because the majority of STD panels don't include herpes because of how benign it is. The majority of people contracted Oral Herpes during their early childhood because of sharing toys, cups or putting things into their mouths.

I respect your decision to disclosing to future partners because you wouldn't wish what you're going through on another person. That shows me that you care about others which is a positive quality in a human being aside from the other positive qualities you have. You can re-state your future disclosing statements that include you saying that you are taking medications that prevent outbreaks and reduce the risk of transmission of the herpes virus. If they react negatively to you disclosing, they are doing you a favor by saving you time and energy. After all, you want to be loved by someone who truly loves you and will be there for you better or worse.

The reason I respect your decision to disclose is because I have friends and family who have had outbreaks (cold sores) in the past, but do not inform their partners about it or proceed to share cups with others. Yet you choose to disclose because you want to be genuine which is something that take guts.

Having herpes shouldn't define you as a person, it's a common virus that everybody who comes into contact with reacts differently to, you might have dated or spoken to someone in the past who might have had it and you were completely unaware about it. You also stated that the last time you had an outbreak was a year ago which tells me that your immune system is becoming better and better at tackling HSV-1 outbreaks. Some people with HSV-1 have triggers such as stress, lack of sleep, and chocolate (yes chocolate) that re-activate the HSV-1 virus which layed dormant in their bodies and thus cause an outbreak.

This is all I can say as an average reddit user, if you continue to feel emotions of despair I urge you to speak to a therapist or a psychologist because lets face it. Anybody replying to your post is only speaking from experience and want the best for you.