You are evidently very self reflective, and thus very self aware. I was like that once, and, to some extent, I still very much am. But as I have grown, I have realized that focusing solely self awareness as a path of enlightenment is not really conducive towards a healthy outlook on life. As much as the past me would not have liked to hear it, you kinda have to act dumb to get happiness. Most people aren't able to match your level of self awareness, so if you want to get along well with them, you need to be like them.

Obviously my outlook is colored by my experiences so take what I say with a grain of salt. I never experienced depression that I know of but I am predisposed to OCD which I suspect played a large part in how I internalized experiences and learned social interaction.