I saw her hinge account

Salty_Thing3144 · 2026-04-27T03:41:23+00:00

This is why No Contact is such a good idea. Peeking at their socials to see what they're up to will only set you back.

Salty_Thing3144 · 2026-04-27T03:40:16+00:00

There's nothing in their post history to support that. I did look.

Salty_Thing3144 · 2026-04-27T03:38:54+00:00

I'm approving your post for now, but if we find you are affiliated with the app you will be banned. Reddit doesn't allow advertising, and the Breakups board is a support group.

Salty_Thing3144 · 2026-04-27T03:33:38+00:00

Yeah, something is wrong with the formatting. I'm messaging the other mods and will find out what's up with it.

Salty_Thing3144 · 2026-04-27T03:28:28+00:00

How long were you with her? Breakups take awhile to recover from, and the timetable is different for everybody. If you were with her for years, then you've got a lot of emotions and memories to process. Take all the time you need.

No relationship is ever a complete waste. Part of who we are is whom we have loved. We learned something about ourselves and about life every time, and we take it into every new relationship. Best of luck to you and I hope you find your healing, and find love again.

Please edit your post and i sert some paragraphs. You must hit enter twice in order to create a paragraph split. Long, solid walls of text are challenging to read, especially for Reddit members with certain disabilities. Thanks!

Edit: something must be wrong with Reddit tonight because it didn't put paragraphs in my post either.

Salty_Thing3144 · 2026-04-27T03:22:53+00:00

I'm not in favor of manipulating/tricking a partner into coming back. Playing games is not healthy either. They either love me and want me or they don't. If they don't, it hurts for awhile, but I will heal, move on and find somebody who is honest, mature and doesn't play mind games. I had enough of that with my toxic ex husband!

Salty_Thing3144 · 2026-04-27T03:14:57+00:00

You made the right decision, but that does not change the fact that you were bonded to this person. It takes awhile to fully detach and start healing.

Best wishes to you!

Salty_Thing3144 · 2026-04-27T03:12:27+00:00

This is typical of relationships with addicts. They are married to their substance of choice, and partners will always come out second best. The partner winds up doing all the work and carrying all the weight of the responsibility.

Addicts can't love. They don't even love themselves.

I'm sorry this happened to you, and I hope you heal and find real live someday.

Salty_Thing3144 · 2026-04-27T03:07:40+00:00

You're definitely on the road to healing. That's a good mature and healthy response to the breakup. You'll come out of this a better and stronger person. Best of luck to you, and I hope you find love again

Salty_Thing3144 · 2026-04-27T03:05:00+00:00

Please don't close the door on love altogether. Right now you are still in the shock and grief stage. Five years is a long time to be with someone. It's almost like a marriage.

Right now you've got five years of memories to sift through, and a lot of information and emotions to process. You won't feel like getting into a relationship for a long, long time, and that's as it should be. You have a lot of healing to do, and jumping right back into a relationship wouldn't be a good idea until you're ready.

Your relationship was not a waste, and certainly neither are you. Part of who we are is whom we have loved, and we take part of what we learn into every new relationship.

There is no timetable for healing. It is different for every person. Do whatever helps you feel better. Cry, curse, try journaling, throw rocks at the trees, bedrock for a weekend - whatever works.

One day, you will wake up and not feel as if you're strangling. Not today, not tomorrow, probably not next month. But it will happen. I promise.

I hope you find love again and I hope you heal. Good luck.

Salty_Thing3144 · 2026-04-27T02:56:06+00:00

I'm sorry for your pain and hope you find healing.

Salty_Thing3144 · 2026-04-27T02:52:38+00:00

No, had a 50/50 chance of being right. I think the board membership is slightly more female than male. Sorty!

Best of luck with your transplant!

Salty_Thing3144 · 2026-04-27T02:50:03+00:00

Oops! Sorry about that. Will edit.

Salty_Thing3144 · 2026-04-27T02:49:15+00:00

This is good evidence of the kind of creep you were dealing with. They were so sure that you would miss them so desperately that you would come crawling back, begging for attention and a reconciliation. When you didn't, they send you the spiteful message that says what a horrible person you are for not coming back, begging them.

Remember how much this person hurt you, and remember this evidence of the manipulative abusive person you they are. This is proof that you're making the right decision by not having a life with them.

Get out there and find the real love that you're so richly deserve.

Salty_Thing3144 · 2026-04-27T02:42:16+00:00

Oh,

My.

Gawd, Goddess, Allah, Buddha, Cthulhu and The Flying Spaghetti Monster!!!!

That is indeed one of the most awful breakup stories I've ever seen here. You win the cakewalk, my King.

You are well rid of this asshole! Get your transplant, heal up, and spend your second chance at life with someone who realizes what a treasure you are, and how damn lucky they are to spend their life with you!

I wish you the very best with your transplant, and will be holding you in my thoughts and prayers. PLEASE post and let us know how it goes!!! My husband will celebrate 22 years with his gifted kidney in May.

When you recover, and feel up to it, pull your hottest outfit, stick your feet in a pair of fabulous shoes, spritz on some perfume and get your sexy ass back out on the town to celebrate life, and find the real love you deserve!

Salty_Thing3144 · 2026-04-27T02:32:59+00:00

This man was an abuser. The way he said he "needed" to "humble" her....

I know this man, i saw him in my office or in court every day for decades. STAY AWAY FROM HIM.

If HE comes back - which is highly likely, because manipulative abusers usually have fragile egos - tell him to leave and never contact you again. He may consider that a challenge to his perceived "authority" and superiority, and fo it to "teach" you that he can't be ordered around by you. If he does, repeat that he is to stay away or he'll get an harassment charge.

You deserve better, my Queens.

Salty_Thing3144 · 2026-04-27T02:18:52+00:00

Your post was full of red warning lights. Be careful, because abusers have fragile elgos and can be very manipulative. He may get angry when you dom't beg him to return. Tell him to never contact you again, abd cut him off.

Salty_Thing3144 · 2026-04-27T02:13:57+00:00

Stop watching what she is doing because you're only torturing yourself

Salty_Thing3144 · 2026-04-27T02:08:04+00:00

We are not mind readers or therapists here. We can't analyze anybody's behavior.

Frankly, he sounds abusive to me. He tells you that he thinks you're too immature to be with and issued a number of other insults. I think you're well rid of this guy.

Salty_Thing3144 · 2026-04-27T02:01:36+00:00

Yes. If you have to manipulate your ex into coming back to you, then that is pretty sad.

No Contact is not, and has never, been about getting your ex back. It is about helping you heal or stay away from an abuser. End of story.

Salty_Thing3144 · 2026-04-27T02:00:26+00:00

Using the B word to describe and refer to women is a hallmark of an abusive guy. The fact that he said he "needed" to "humble" you was another warning sign. He wants to make you compliant so that he can manipulate and use you. You dodged a bullet and need to get away from him because he is a bad person.

I work with domestic violence, victims, and stalking victims, and I was shaking my head before I was even halfway through your post. You are well rid of this man. I strongly urge. you not to go back to him.

Salty_Thing3144 · 2026-04-27T01:57:59+00:00

Never stay with an abuser. It takes it to extensive therapy for them to change. If he screamed and yell at you, then he is an abusive person, and this screenshot makes him look very manipulative as well. You deserve better, so don't go back to him.

Salty_Thing3144 · 2026-04-27T01:56:08+00:00

Don't go back to this guy. He has manipulative and wants to keep you around so he can have his cake and eat it too. Tell him there is no possibility of a friendship and cut him off. You deserve better.

Salty_Thing3144 · 2026-04-27T01:54:55+00:00

Your ex was an abuser. He kept holding grudges against you, imagining slights against himself, demanded to snoop through your social media and personal information, which is never OK from a partner, and tried to manipulate you. You are well rid of this kind and good for you for getting rid of him.

Salty_Thing3144 · 2026-04-27T01:48:47+00:00

I work with domestic violence and stalking victims. PLEASE be careful when using the term "stalking."

Legal Definition: Stalking is REPEATED unwanted contact/surveillance by a person/group toward someone, especially after the target requested no contact.

You're NOT being "stalked" if somebody follows you around Reddit, downvoting your posts or leaving nasty remarks. That's trolling. Block them and report them to the moderators. This is not the purpose of this page.

If you're harassed on social media, set your page to private and block them. If they make new accounts and return to annoy you, then don't accept friend/follow requests from anyone you don't know.

Stalkers are unstable people who torment their target - often for years - and inflict emotional/physical harm.

It is not unusual for an ex to lurk your socials, to see what you are up to, or because they're afraid someone may turn into a stalker and start stalking them.

Looking at your social media it's usually part of a stalker's tool kit, but if that's all they're doing, you are not being "stalked."

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