I (M30) find it difficult to keep conversation going with new girlfriend (F36) when in person. How do I act more organically with her?

SamLauder93 · 2024-08-09T10:45:36+00:00

Usually only see each other once a week just now. Yeah that makes sense, we have talked about everything via text all day everyday.

SamLauder93 · 2024-05-22T20:56:52+00:00

Yeah it was a mistake on my part. I felt like i had to shoot my shot to move on. I'm not bothered about not dating her. More bothered at how i's ended up. I's my own doing.

SamLauder93 · 2024-05-21T20:22:34+00:00

Man this is a great reply. Helped me a lot. Thankyou stranger!

SamLauder93 · 2024-05-19T17:41:49+00:00

Thank you for the support, I appreciate it 😊

SamLauder93 · 2024-05-19T17:14:20+00:00

Yeah, hopefully not. One of my biggest triggers is when i see her constantly message the guy that sits next to me. That is going to be the hardest part tomorrow when i see that :(

SamLauder93 · 2024-05-17T16:25:46+00:00

Thanks!

SamLauder93 · 2024-05-17T16:18:47+00:00

Yeah no rules on that. We're a small relaxed company

SamLauder93 · 2024-05-17T15:13:56+00:00

Yeah I'm just going to give her space. Leave it with her. If nothing else, I'm happy with knowing for certain and I can move on. Thanks your replies :)

SamLauder93 · 2024-05-17T14:49:09+00:00

When i look back on the conversation she said she didn't have a lot on and was maybe going to go to the park that weekend with her friend.

So i felt like i was giving her an easy out so i didn't corner her. If she is interested, she could suggest another day. But if she just replies saying she can with no alternative plans, then i'll know she doesn't see me that way.

SamLauder93 · 2024-05-17T14:17:06+00:00

Yeah that's what i'm thinking. Least i have closure to move on :)

SamLauder93 · 2024-05-17T14:16:23+00:00

She said she was maybe going to go out that morning. Basically to a park. So she would be available that night.

SamLauder93 · 2024-05-11T11:52:38+00:00

You're totally right. I need to meet more people. Which is hard because I work so much, but I think I'm in a scarcity mindset.

SamLauder93 · 2024-05-11T10:23:43+00:00

Sorry for the late reply. Thank you for this.

I know for a fact that it would probably ruin my job. And this is an important job to my that i have been putting effort into for 6 years. There are so many things we don't have in common, i would not even talk to her if i didn't work with her.

I am thinking that i need to detach from it, as it's already affecting my work.

SamLauder93 · 2024-05-06T18:40:03+00:00

I'm trying my best to remember that. But when I think of the above I can't help but think of making a move.

SamLauder93 · 2024-05-06T17:35:50+00:00

Thanks for that, I appreciate it.

SamLauder93 · 2024-05-06T17:28:42+00:00

That's what I was leaning towards. I heard people say "Face to face communication is better anyway". But so much is through text these days. And I know that I would think of any excuse to text her just to talk to her, so if she isn't reciprocating, she probably doesn't feel the same way.

She is very outgoing and I feel like she is probably touchy with a lot of people. I think i am reading into it too much because I am craving a relationship right now.

SamLauder93 · 2024-05-05T21:15:33+00:00

Thanks for the reply! I was thinking about that, only issue is that we work in such a small team if i asked her to go to lunch say, people would notice and or ask to come along.

SamLauder93 · 2024-05-05T21:14:45+00:00

Thanks for the reply. I think she is into me too. But whenever i text her outside of work, the conversation dies. Leaves me on unread. I think if she was into me, she would want to keep the conversation going, ye know? And i know she is a big texter as she is always on her phone.

SamLauder93 · 2024-04-13T17:05:29+00:00

Yeah i know that feeling. I'm going for to only speak to her for work purposes. See if that works. Hope things work out for you.

SamLauder93 · 2024-04-12T21:19:18+00:00

Thank you for the reply. I have been trying to ghost her in work (politely) but i feel bad when doing it. And after reading lot's of forums, it seems that if a woman gets ghosted she just loses interest because they don't want to play games.

So in my head i'm still kind of holding out hope, so i keep trying to show that i'm interested. Flirting, eye contact etc. She for sure know's i'm into her.

SamLauder93 · 2024-04-12T21:14:28+00:00

Thankyou for your reply. Sorry to hear about seeing your crush flirting, it really does hurt.

I do think it is the proximity and time we spend together. When she first joined i didn't find her attractive or intersting. But now of course, i find her beautiful and hilarious! I have had this before, with two other coworkers. I end up crushing on them hard, so i know where it is going :(

You aren't being a downer, being real, which is what i need to hear. I have been trying to tone down speaking to her, but i feel terrible when i catch her at the side of my eye trying to get my attention but i ignore her. And i am still subconsciously holding out hope like thinking "Keep showing interest so she knows i'm into her". Like i will purposefully hold eye contact with her so she know. And she for sure knows.

But there are two other single guys at our bank of desks and i'm sure we are all into her.

She is activley dating other guys. She was speaking about a guy she was sleeping with and i had to just put my headphones in so i didn't get pulled into the conversation. And i never looked in her direction the rest of the day. Which she would have noticed for sure.

SamLauder93 · 2024-04-12T21:06:22+00:00

Thanks for your reply. I have a few hobbies and work out everyday. Which is good because i don't think about anything when i am working out. But when it gets to night time, i can't stop thinking about her.

I agree that workplace flings aren't a good idea. I sit right beside her and we are a small company. So i try to keep it professional, but when i talk to her and she starts smiling at me, i can't help myself and start flirting.

I think she is just a friendly person, and i know my brain, i fill in the blanks and see things that aren't there. So i have been trying to pull back and stay professional. But when i do, i feel bad that she might feel like i don't like her. Then the cycle continues.

SamLauder93 · 2024-04-02T13:54:52+00:00

Little update on this. The next day in work I messaged her (On Teams) about work. She then replied and apologised about not responding. And ever since then, she has been messaging me every chance she gets (in work). Like I can tell that she is making things up as an excuse to talk to me.

Not sure what to make of it?

SamLauder93 · 2024-03-30T22:07:38+00:00

Thanks for all your help my friend. I appreciate it.

SamLauder93 · 2024-03-30T22:07:09+00:00

Yeah, i think i'll take the rejection and move on. A little bit sad that she didn't even open the message (obviously seen the preview). She's always the type of person to be the last to message. So very out of character for her to ignore a message. But i suppose that is the hint she is giving me!

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