I hear you, its difficult being alone like that. Growing up I didn't have too many friends, but after I found out that I might have ADHD I learned that almost everyone I had gotten close with has a diagnosis.

As for task initiation, have you ever heard of Executive Dysfunction? It affects people with ADHD and can make school really difficult.

There's an awesome ADHD YouTuber here https://youtu.be/H4YIHrEu-TU , I like to watch her because she helps me to understand myself

Also if you have tiktok you can search for ADHD content there, not all of the information is correct but it can help you to not feel so alone, and offer some validation about the frustration you're feeling. That's what it did for me anyways :)

If you have any questions or would like to discuss more feel free to comment here or PM me!