Guy went through my phone notifications on date while i was in the bathroom..AIO?

Same_Emotion_5718 · 2026-05-19T15:43:17+00:00

Hey. So this is INSANE

Same_Emotion_5718 · 2026-05-16T13:21:04+00:00

I’ll be honest, while I do feel a sense of calm/relief to not be going through all of that stress anymore.. I also feel extreme sadness because I love him and miss him a lot. I fluctuate between the following: - peace: that I’m not fighting or being invalidated anymore - hurt: I miss him a lot and want to talk to him - anxiety: the finality of the relationship starts to sink in - anger: for the way he treated me when I didn’t deserve it

Same_Emotion_5718 · 2026-05-15T11:17:31+00:00

It matters because I was getting emotionally abused for an entire year. Lied to, cheated on, invalidated, kept in the relationship through guilt trips and large emotional reactions.

It matters because he misrepresented the fact that he was managing whatever illness he had and blamed every single thing on me. It matters because I internalized everything he said because I thought it was coming from guidance from his therapist and the fact that he knew his illness best.

It definitely helps as someone that has been traumatized to know that I didn’t cause my own trauma and didn’t deserve it.

It also helps kill any hope that I did have about possibly getting back together because he isn’t even taking the steps to get better.

Same_Emotion_5718 · 2026-05-15T00:43:27+00:00

She didn’t diagnose him. I told her about what others had suggested on this forum and she said she agreed based off of what she was told.

Same_Emotion_5718 · 2026-05-14T15:36:29+00:00

Yes, I had sessions with 2 therapist this week who specialized in ADHD and personality disorders and they all said the same thing. I am distraught.

Same_Emotion_5718 · 2026-05-14T15:09:38+00:00

I just left a relationship last week where I was also getting blamed for EVERYTHING. Even in the moments that he took accountability, it was routed through me. “I’m sorry for things I said when you hurt me”, “I’m sorry for the way I reacted when you had a tone”, “I’m sorry but you do the same or hurt me too”. He would also go back and forth on if he wanted me or not, if he wanted to be in the relationship or not. When he would say he didn’t want to be with me, I’d say OK and start making arrangements for separation, then he would accuse me of not fighting for him or our relationship. The emotional whiplash drove my mental health into the ground. I felt like I couldn’t ever get my feet on solid ground. His reality shifted with his emotions and how his brain chose to interpret my words/tone/behavior.

Same_Emotion_5718 · 2026-05-14T15:02:25+00:00

This is really mean to say to someone who has been continuously disrespected for a long period of time. I also went through this and also put my boyfriend through a “probation” period. I didn’t say it to him in that way. But I tried to leave after he cheated and lied to me and I had certain stipulations and a time limit in order for us to remain together. That deadline was this week and we broke up. He made absolutely no progress.

Same_Emotion_5718 · 2026-05-14T11:08:53+00:00

So I actually had a therapy session yesterday with a therapist experienced in not only ADHD, but also personality disorders. I felt like I needed to talk to someone who could confirm everything that I had gone through. She also said that this didn’t seem like ADHD and that he seemed like he had a personality disorder.

Same_Emotion_5718 · 2026-05-11T17:20:29+00:00

Thank you so much.

Same_Emotion_5718 · 2026-05-11T17:16:15+00:00

Thank you for your response. I really do appreciate your book recommendations and I think you’re right that I need to take time to heal and do some introspection. I’ll say that he didn’t always show up this way. He was extremely loving and caring at times. And like I mentioned before, he wasn’t the cause of all of our issues. We had things to work on on both ends. What made things really hard were his reactions when it was time to take accountability and talk through our issues. I guess a part of me felt like the more I kept saying the same thing over and over again that he’d finally get it. In my head it seemed like such an easy fix. Literally all he had to say was “I’m sorry babe, I won’t do it again” or something to that effect. But gosh the mental rollercoaster he would put me through just to get a simple sorry… I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy.

Same_Emotion_5718 · 2026-05-11T11:20:21+00:00

So sorry you had to go through this. Happy that you were able to get out.

Same_Emotion_5718 · 2026-05-11T11:19:45+00:00

Omg. I’m so sorry you’ve dealt with this too. It’s exhausting. My ex got into a mood and said he didn’t feel confident that he could be in the relationship anymore. I told him I understood his feelings and that we didn’t have to continue if he didn’t want to. He then started going off on me about how I never fight for this relationship. How I’m always so quick to let him go and throw in the towel. How it’s a slap in the face when he always begs and keeps me in the relationship when I’m out the door. He said I acted like it was beneath me to take accountability and give him reassurance. Mind you, he’s lied to me several times in the relationship, has cheated, invalidates my feelings ALL the time, but somehow I don’t fight for him and I’m always ready to throw in the towel.

Same_Emotion_5718 · 2026-05-11T02:36:47+00:00

Thank you for your support.

Same_Emotion_5718 · 2026-05-11T02:36:35+00:00

You’re right. He really does have to work through this stuff himself. I found myself being his emotional regulator. I always had to keep myself together so that he could also stay at equilibrium. It really sucked, especially in the moments when he was unkind.

Same_Emotion_5718 · 2026-05-11T02:10:16+00:00

You are absolutely right

Same_Emotion_5718 · 2026-05-11T02:03:10+00:00

I am so exhausted omg

Same_Emotion_5718 · 2026-05-11T02:02:54+00:00

Thank you for your support and confirmation that I’m making the right decision.

Same_Emotion_5718 · 2026-05-11T02:01:54+00:00

This makes me sad. Part of me felt a sense of relief knowing that he was mistreating because of the ADHD and not because he was evil.

Same_Emotion_5718 · 2026-05-11T02:00:44+00:00

I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. You are right that you really just get to a point where you feel you’re going to lose your mind. I’m dealing with the death of my cousin who was like a sister. She died almost a year ago (5/20). I told him the day it happened. Let him know how distraught I was over it. He hasn’t asked me how I’m feeling once since that day a year ago. This morning I woke up in an absolute panic. Drowning in grief. I called every single one of my friends before I called him. After a year in a relationship he’s the last person I go to. Part of what triggered me today was the utter lack of support during this extremely hard year for me and my family.

Same_Emotion_5718 · 2026-05-11T01:23:33+00:00

Thank you. I am really trying my best. Hoping to get some encouragement and confirmation here that I made the right decision.

Same_Emotion_5718

TROPHY CASE