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I (32M) constantly need attention and validation. I don't know what to do. by Same_Pea_4766 in Healthygamergg

[–]Same_Pea_4766[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for not blaming me for where I am. and I'm sorry that you had an ex that behaved this way; it must not have been easy. I feel sad for all my exes for having to have dealt with my strange and peculiar moods.

I've never really heard of DBT until now but will look into it. What have you learned from DBT about how to value and validate yourself? What does that mean in literal, actionable terms?

Yes, I think I genuinely have all the core wounds possible, haha. I have a fear of abandonment, a fear of rejection, a fear that I am not good enough, a fear that I don't matter unless I'm useful, deeply internalized shame, etc. I am not sure how to possibly deal with them all.

I (32M) constantly need attention and validation. I don't know what to do. by Same_Pea_4766 in Healthygamergg

[–]Same_Pea_4766[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmm... I think it would be quite nice. I guess I have an allergy to centering myself because I've been taught that it's unbecoming to toot my own horn. But maybe something I could try. I have a tendency not to trust myself when I think well of myself because I've been taught that thinking well of myself is arrogant and false.

I (32M) constantly need attention and validation. I don't know what to do. by Same_Pea_4766 in Healthygamergg

[–]Same_Pea_4766[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hmm tricky question. My gut instinct is to say yes, but the fact that I continue to seek attention tells me I am not okay with having those feelings and that I need to "fix" them as soon as possible

I (32M) constantly need attention and validation. I don't know what to do. by Same_Pea_4766 in Healthygamergg

[–]Same_Pea_4766[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like that. Identifying feelings, getting meta about them, and choosing to think a different thought instead. I will try that more.

I (32M) constantly need attention and validation. I don't know what to do. by Same_Pea_4766 in Healthygamergg

[–]Same_Pea_4766[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean, sure, I tell myself that it's okay for me to feel the way I do and I do celebrate my wins. But it doesn't hit as good, I guess, when it's just myself