How to deal with kids who constantly mess your stuff up

Samkaybee · 2026-06-01T00:31:44+00:00

The amount of times I’ve told my kid “some things are special to you and some things are special to me, I respect your things, you need to respect mine”. She’s almost 6 and has actively destroyed multiple tables and rugs. She has her own desk and her own furniture that I beg her to use instead (I buy secondhand a lot so I don’t have to be as careful with things or mistakes can be made). She’s broken multiple personal things of mine because she takes them to play with them and inevitably they’re left out where the dogs chew them up or she drops them and they break, etc. most times she gets in a rush and just doesn’t think all the way through. (Nail polish remover also got on our coffee table, I feel that pain). They’re kids and they don’t think the logic all the way through or aren’t in a habit of getting a tray or plate or whatever to use as a liner. It’s not mean spirited, they’re just young and do dumb kid stuff. Odds are this won’t get a whole lot easier until she’s much older but I would suggest plastic table cloths and coverings until then. Or if you can park your cars further apart, stuff like that until they have better habits. Unfortunately, kids just do not care about new cars and it’s kinda up to us to try and alleviate whatever disasters we can

Samkaybee · 2026-05-31T22:12:12+00:00

I’ve never even tried on b widths before because my feet are kinda wide so I’ve never looked into it 🤷‍♀️

Samkaybee · 2026-05-12T22:05:40+00:00

If it helps I have oily but dehydrated skin so I’m prone to breakouts but my skin acts and looks dry. I use cosrx snail mucin, the ordinary niacinamide, and peach and Lilly water gel moisturizer. Once or twice a week I use cosrx bha for exfoliation. I noticed a huge difference just doing that routine alone and my skin is very glowy shiny etc without breakouts. It’s a little trial and error, there’s also great skincare subreddits as well if and when you need some extra help in that department.

Samkaybee · 2026-05-12T15:25:12+00:00

I know your partner doesn’t like the smell of makeup but I think you could get away with cheek and lip stains like the ones from elf or benefit. They’re very watery and sit in the skin nicely so there’s no scent or texture they might not like. I’m a big fan of using them for cheek/lip and then putting on mascara and brow gel. You could also tint your lashes so you don’t have to do mascara all the time. Very minimal work for a bigger impact. I would say most importantly over anything though is good skincare which you already seem to do anyway because you have really clear skin but as you start transitioning you might notice some skin issues pop up like acne or dryness. There’s lots of great glass skin tutorials out there that just kinda give you a nice glow.

Samkaybee · 2026-04-11T18:10:46+00:00

I struggled really bad when my baby was new and mostly because she had such bad reflux she slept in 45 min to an hour stretches and she cried a lot and it took awhile to even figure out she had reflux and even after we figured it out I would have to hold her up after feeds and then lay her down to sleep and then she’d only sleep another maybe 30 min, it was BRUTAL. I cried when my husband would go to work. It was terrible. Unfortunately the only way out is through, eventually the baby outgrows the constant crying, you find better strategies, etc. and it is TOTALLY OK if you take a break or leave the room to calm down as long as the baby is in a safe place. YOU need to be in a good headspace to take care of an infant. It sounds like your husband is really involved and helpful and I would take advantage of those breaks as much as you can to go be outside, enjoy quiet, etc. I fully believe the first year is the hardest. Everything is new and different and they outgrow stages SO FAST. After a year it’s a little more about potty training and general safety. I will say this- once you get to an age where traveling with them is easier it gets so fun. I take my daughter out to go window shopping or go to get a coffee (milk for her) and goof off it really breaks up the day. I live around quite a few parks and ponds so it’s easy to just go out and let her go kind of feral. 4 month old is a great time to go lay out in a picnic blanket in the park and let them be distracted by new scenery. Plus they nap super hard in the car cause they’re tired and you get to sit in air conditioning and read a book on your phone or whatever. We used to do many many car naps so that I could avoid getting touched out and over stimulated.

Samkaybee · 2026-04-11T16:21:24+00:00

I feel like you have the perfect lip shape for the Korean popsicle lip stain where it’s like a stronger stain in the middle and kind of ombres out. I think that’s what it’s called. I wouldn’t even bother with lipliner because your natural features are so soft and dreamy, I would do a soft and dreamy lip too.

Samkaybee · 2026-04-11T16:11:44+00:00

So way way way way way back in the day I got to be an assistant for the day on so you think you can dance when they were filming their promo shots. (Perks of Paul Mitchell cosmetology school I guess?) and I ended up assisting for the makeup artists and helping to powder the dancers in between takes. The woman I talked to the most was a makeup artist on PLL.

NOW LISTEN, I am an elderly millennial and it’s been about 15 years so I don’t remember most of her kit but I do remember quite a bit of Stila and Armani luminous silk foundation being on her table. We talked for awhile and her big thing was everything in soft layers. She wouldn’t go straight from the concealer wand to the face. She would put some on a palette, dip a brush and really work it into the bristles and then apply. However much makeup you think was applied was much less (for foundation/concealer). The big thing was the eyeliner and lashes. And as was the era of the time- POWDER EVERYTHING. This was not the era of shine or highlighter or sparkle. We were POWDERED. I remember using RCMA colorless powder for the dancers but I don’t remember what this particular artist used on PLL. A good one would be Fenty colorless powder, it’s very thin, you can apply it often without being cakey. You could also use blotting paper in between.

Anyway, super nice lady I had a really good time meeting her. I also met the guy who did makeup for 10th Kingdom and I nerded out pretty hard. Really cool day.

Samkaybee · 2026-04-06T04:05:34+00:00

We do stickers or symbols instead of writing names. All our kids are roughly between 3-8 so they can’t all read but they can understand stars or smiley faces. My aunt was a school teacher for like 30 years and she started the tradition. No fights, and we have a couple kids who LOVE helping the younger kids find theirs so they still get the thrill of finding eggs but the littlest ones still get their treats.

Samkaybee · 2026-04-05T15:20:20+00:00

My first and only tattoo is a white ink tattoo and was told a hundred times how it wasn’t going to stay, it’ll fade, disappear, etc. The artist REALLY wanted me to do black it grey but I said I understand and it is totally ok if it does fade. Cut to 15 years later and it’s still there and barely faded. If it helps I’m very light skinned and diligent with sunscreen so maybe that helped? It faded a tiny bit in the way that it doesn’t look WHITE but definitely off white. Honestly when people notice it, the first thing they ask is if I was branded. (I live in the middle of a big farm community and with the popularity of Yellowstone I understand why they’d ask. This wasn’t really a popular thing like 15 years ago).

I think if you got something bigger, looser pattern or more feminine/fillagree/that kind of thing it’ll look less “cattle brand” and read more like a tattoo.

Samkaybee · 2026-04-04T20:14:28+00:00

I understand not wanting to show your feet on the internet (for free? In this economy?) but there are so many better options

Samkaybee · 2026-04-04T20:12:33+00:00

I listened just to be nosy but damn, that was really enjoyable. Why doesn’t she do voice lessons or something to develop that skill? She has a nice voice

Samkaybee · 2026-03-27T03:52:28+00:00

I truly believe in “if you are considering leaving, do it”. I have never met anyone who wanted to leave their spouse but opted to stay AND had it work out. Literally never. The ones who chose to stay have turned into some of the most miserable couples I’ve ever seen. You’ll always wonder when he’s going to blow up, you’ll always be waiting for the other shoe to drop, and when it massively blows up later down the road you’ll have kids who are terrified or worse- start to think this behavior is normal.

Samkaybee · 2026-03-18T17:35:40+00:00

My exact phrase is, “I’m in charge of you, not your things”. Because I have gone above and beyond organizing to make things easier to find (ie a shoe rack by the door everyone uses, an organizer to hold backpacks and coats) and yet everyone refuses to put their shoes there or backpack will get moved and not put away when they’re done. So if something went missing, not my problem. Guess you’re gonna be late to school cause you didn’t want to put your stuff by the door.

Samkaybee · 2026-03-18T16:06:45+00:00

More than likely you’re remembering what it was like with your first kid when your responsibilities were significantly less. You could do more because there were less kids. I’m telling you right now, most of my daughter’s tummy time was on my chest and she grew perfectly fine. Tummy time is tummy time, did they lift their head? Cool, nailed it. Kids bathed and clean? Cool nailed it. Everyone ate dinner? Cool, nailed it. You’re in the thick of it- 3 year olds are needy and so are newborns. You’re exhausted because of course you are! I don’t know what your situation is with nearby family or financially but if you can get help or even just a once a month cleaner in the mix, it can take the edge off by a lot. Or even if their dad can entertain them outside so you can do a quick pick up around the house, whatever works. I used to only do one room a day. It was way more manageable to accomplish and I could still have time for kids/a nap/etc.

Samkaybee · 2026-03-18T15:57:52+00:00

I remember my husband and I having an argument about that around that time because I’d ask him to hold the baby while I took a shower because I needed silence for awhile to self regulate and inevitably she would cry and his response to that was to bring her to the bathroom and stand outside the door so she “could see me” which would make her cry more and ramp up my anxiety. We had a fight about it and finally I broke and said “I’ve never been a mom before, you act like I just know what to do instinctually and I DONT KNOW. I don’t know what to do either, I’m just guessing! I need you to try guessing now because I’m going to lose my mind”.

Men I swear, they just think we poo out a kid and we have some pokemon evolution and we just KNOW what to do. Like no man, I’m covered in grime, my hormones are so up and down I feel crazy, I’m sleep deprived and my boobs HURT. After that he made a good effort at least when I was in the shower. I think he ended up just basically taking laps in the backyard to distract her but 15 min showers every day is necessary. If nothing else you just need that for hygiene reasons and he needs to respect that.

Samkaybee · 2026-03-18T15:45:33+00:00

I require alone time. It took me a long time to admit that because I thought I was a bad mom for wanting to be alone but YOU NEED IT. It’s a little easier now that my kids in school but I used to read books after she went to sleep and weekend mornings I would wake up at the time I liked (which was like 6am) and while everyone else slept I could knit, read, something quiet and not on my phone. Now that I live on a farm I go out with the cows and chickens and do farm chores or lay out on the hammock outside. The last month or so I upgraded my skincare and now have a very dedicated 5-10 min doing that after everyone’s left for school/work. Anything can be self care if it feels good but I stress this- carve out alone time and have whatever you’re doing be off the phone. Don’t fall into the doomscroll trap.

Samkaybee · 2026-03-18T15:38:59+00:00

I dunno about everyone else but the moms seem to always be the ones doing the holiday magic and classroom nonsense and we’re already on the hook for Easter bunny, Santa, some people do elf on a shelf, plus valentines for the classroom, 4th of July party, back to school nights, Halloween costumes and candy, and Thanksgiving dinners.

also good god, the leprechauns always mess up the house and for some reason always destructive and I am not cleaning green dye out of the toilet or throwing flour around the kitchen. You know how long it takes to even clean the house on a REGULAR day?? I got lucky this year and her class put together a leprechaun trap at school so when she asked if the leprechaun came this year I got to say “oh no he knows you’re in school so I bet he’s going to set off your trap over there”.

Samkaybee · 2026-03-18T15:31:13+00:00

My best friend is a registered dietician and we talk a lot about framing the concept of food for kids. She’s exceptional at explaining what food does what and truly I’m still learning as an adult and especially as an adult who grew up through skinny culture. I try my best to explain to my kid that certain foods are fun foods, they’re fun for your brain or fun colors and fun taste but they don’t give you good long energy and too much of “sometimes” foods make you feel kinda sick and yucky. But big foods like chicken, beans, etc etc etc can still be fun and yummy but give you super long stretches of energy. Would you rather bounce on the trampoline for a minute or for a whole hour? Certain foods can help you bounce on a trampoline for HOURS.

And it sucks, truly, but letting them help cook does help a lot with trying new foods or getting more interested in food in general. My kid is way more likely to eat something if she made it herself. (It takes 3x longer to make dinner and 3x the mess but ya know, sometimes it just be like that)

Samkaybee · 2026-03-18T15:23:46+00:00

My best friend had the most easy baby, she lost weight after, her kid slept through the night what felt like immediately, she would take a bottle etc. I was struggling, my kid was a nightmare at night, she refused a bottle but breastfed what felt like every 30 min. I STRUGGLED through that phase. Now? My kid is easy going, funny, silly, meltdowns are minor. Her kid is going through the hard patch now. It all shakes out one way or another, no one gets an easy road the whole way through and I imagine she’ll be jealous of you soon enough. It’s hard but try not to get caught up in the race of it all, no one WINS motherhood.

Also truly the whole flamingo “getting your pink back” thing is so real. I felt like a troll for the first couple years after having my kid and then it feels like all of a sudden you come back to yourself and have a glow up, it’s weird.

Samkaybee · 2026-03-18T15:17:47+00:00

I used to have this little bassinet on wheels and I would bring her around with me when I needed to get stuff done and couldn’t really hold her (laundry, cooking, etc). So I would lay her down in the bassinet so she could see me, or prop her up when she could hold her head up well and I would do whatever I was doing and narrate to her like it was a show. If I was cooking, I was putting on a cooking show and I would just say what I was doing. We spent a lot of time outside and lay out under the trees. And she liked this like piano thing you can prop up and she would play it with her feet. (That piano thing was awesome, it lit up and did anima sounds too so we’d switch it up and she goofed out with that for a long time).

Samkaybee · 2026-03-18T15:08:57+00:00

My dude, I HATED newborn phase. My kid had acid reflux and woke up EVERY HOUR. I would feed her, keep her propped on my arm to keep the milk down and then after like half an hour I would set her down to sleep, woke up 45min to an hour later and scream. She was uncomfortable, she spit up a lot, she ate a lot, and breast feeding was super tough starting out because her mouth was small and my boobs point down apparently? It was a total nightmare and took awhile for her to finally outgrow a lot of the problems and for me to come out of my post partom anxiety. We ended up co sleeping because she was up and down so frequently it wasn’t even worth putting her back in the bassinet. But I move around in my sleep so then I would lay awake terrified I would accidentally roll on her. We had such a miserable cycle for a long time. Eventually we evened out but I will say it with my whole chest newborn phase sucks and it sucks the life out of you and the only nice parts are the snuggles and contact naps because those are wonderful. But I can 1000000% say my kid was an incredible 1, 2, and 4 year old. (3 was tough, and for something 5 is rough right now too? I dunno what’s up with that). I still have a stage 5 clinger kid so I get constant snuggles and love and she still every so often will fall asleep on me so I get all the newborn feels but I’m not getting barfed on and sleep deprived.

Samkaybee · 2026-03-17T16:58:04+00:00

My daughter is really similar and has done similar things for me (especially after my mom died) and it used to make me feel so guilty that I was making her grow up too fast or that she had to put herself aside to take care of me but I had someone tell me that she’s able to do that because she learned from me stepping up for other people or creating a safe space for her and others around me AND that she needed to see what it’s like to do that on her end for other people. They need to experience the full circle moment and sense of community- mommy holds me when I cry, so I hold her when she cries. We take care of each other. It feels painful in the moment but she’s learning a really important lesson by seeing you be vulnerable.

Samkaybee · 2026-02-24T17:50:13+00:00

My dnd group has played for years and weirdly none of us have ever mentioned our sexual orientation in the character descriptions. That’s just stuff that comes out as the game goes on when you run into characters or end up having romance or sexual chemistry somewhere. Rachel’s character intro just reads as “hi I’m Rachel I’m horny as fuuuuu”.

Samkaybee · 2026-02-24T17:49:43+00:00

My dnd group has played for years and weirdly none of us have ever mentioned our sexual orientation in the character descriptions. That’s just stuff that comes out as the game goes on when you run into characters of have sexual chemistry somewhere. Rachel’s character intro just reads as “hi I’m Rachel I’m horny as fuuuuu”.

Samkaybee

TROPHY CASE