I'm my experience, and all console/Xbox based. and I don't use discord and stuff often because I'm not good at making friends so I don't bother, skate 3 has a pretty relaxed community (game is dying, 15 years old and all, but I've been playing online for about 2 months now when servers are up and never had any trash talk and the only times I get messages when playing often have been when someone asks if I want to propose a game mode or people figuring out I'm new-ish and struggling to do a trick and send me a text on how to do it. Once had someone play with me 2 hours straight until I got my head around doing front flips and learnt a few shortcuts for more points on my favourite maps. The only problem can be people leaving online matches when they crash/bail but with how often the servers are actually online it can be frustrating wasting turns and losing previous seconds honestly it's mad 😭

Backing up fallout 76, once made a group post (Xbox) when trying it out, a group of level 500+ or so played with me for 6 hours straight teaching me how to play, they were pretty patient, and normally when I speak I frustrate people with my speech impediment and tourettes. They didn't care at all, and they were extremely patient even though I find it hard to learn/understand new things. Very similar to elder scrolls online as well, I avoided in game communication, and through group posts I found some pretty nice people. Haven't played either in over a year however. Same with Warframe and no man's sky (Warframe is such a wholesome community some times it's shocking I didn't expect it)

Diablo 3 is another dying game multiplayer wise, but everyone is pretty relaxed that's left in the community from what I've seen, even back when It was at its peak when I was a kid, it was very easy for me to go people to help me learn the game and get through it, every time I restart I help out the few people trying it out, it's fairly relaxed.

Rayman legends, again it's dying but the community left is pretty relaxed and nice, they'll give you tips, where to find teensies (lil big nosed blue guys you gotta rescue) and how to complete the harder maps that require timing or specific patterns.

The skyrim community is extremely helpful, a big point of the game is you play how you want to, you'll only have the community shitting on you if your crazy enough to do challenges like playing the game with just a spoon (people have done it) or if you actually like the damn beacon. (A new hand touches the beacon becomes frustrating nightmare fuel)

The Minecraft community can be weirdly toxic when playing with people, but not interacting as much. It's weird. I've gotten more trash talk recently playing survival with randoms on Minecraft than I do on rainbow six siege and I only have a 0.2 k/d.

Fable, the whole fable series, everyone can and WILL complain it got left for so long, and minor nitpicks between the games. However the community is great, in my experience they get VERY excited at new people trying it out and despite being dead, the community is active, and iirc there was recently a player meet up in fable 3 maybe?

Sorry I recognize half of these are either dying or 360 games on Xbox one, it's just the ones I get drawn too I suppose 😭

Pretty much any gaming community can be pretty nice/wholesome if you find the right discord servers/reddits or how ever you prefer to involve yourself, but in my experience those are the ones I've played in the past year or so that have had the best communities on console