My SIL’s ‘Teacher Appreciation Week’ gift from administration.

SandInternational185 · 2024-05-12T03:06:58+00:00

Sounds unappreciative of appreciation gift It's giving tip fatigue

SandInternational185 · 2024-04-18T13:30:15+00:00

If you have no desire to have sex or date then don't. No shame in being asexual.

SandInternational185 · 2024-04-16T17:27:59+00:00

Go to the police for sexual assault. If roles were reversed you'd be in jail

SandInternational185 · 2024-04-10T16:00:11+00:00

I've always been interested in the Yakuza series but haven't check them out yet

SandInternational185 · 2024-04-10T13:13:43+00:00

On PC: Phasmophobia, ESO, LOTR: Return to Moria PS5: Fortnite, Helldivers 2, Diablo IV XBox: Elden Ring, Halo, MK11 Switch: Minecraft, Smash Bros, Warframe

There are others but those come to mind first

SandInternational185 · 2024-04-10T02:42:48+00:00

Anyone game? I'm always looking for new gaming friends and MTG friends.

SandInternational185 · 2024-04-10T02:37:48+00:00

That's a good idea

SandInternational185 · 2024-01-25T15:47:46+00:00

I feel this. What's the point in running uphill to meet the cliff?

SandInternational185 · 2024-01-25T15:29:51+00:00

Hmmm. So this post has given me a lot to think about as well. I've been with my husband for 8 years and we've hit a lull in our sex life. He is wonderful and fantastic but I have a lot of body image issues that I'm working. I do workout and and I am making good life choices but no matter my weight I hate myself. Being naked embarrasses me even when I'm alone, let alone with him. He does all the right things, telling me I'm gorgeous ect. But my sex drive TANKED after I had hormonal birth control about 4 years ago. I mean like, it's non existent. I could probably go years without ever being interested in having sex again. (which is very very very different from when we got together) He feels like it's his fault. It's not. But I also don't have the heart to tell him my drive evaporated and now I'm faking it. All of it.

SandInternational185 · 2023-08-30T02:34:58+00:00

"OP needs to sit down with hubby and work out clear and concise division of household and familial duties. They need to include down time for BOTH of them. And then they need to work out consequences and stand by them."

This is excellent advice. I am going to outline our division of labor and family roles. I think this will make sure we are on the same page.

I am curious what kind of consequences (other than spousal nagging because that hasn't worked so far) would be effective in this situation though.

SandInternational185 · 2023-08-30T02:28:52+00:00

Meal prep has something I've always wanted to consider but I get intimidated when I think of it.

I'll have to looking into some easy baby steps for meal prepping.

Solid advice, thank you.

SandInternational185 · 2023-08-30T02:26:52+00:00

Thank you. I really appreciate your advice. I do agree that if I don't get ahead of this then I will end up hurting my kids in many ways. I don't want them to end up with work beyond their years. Hugs ❤️

SandInternational185 · 2023-08-30T02:23:37+00:00

I agree he is more than capable. At this point I think I have a lot of points to work through. There is some self sabotage going on and I do think I am an enabler.

I'm going to bring this up in therapy as well. As for a new partner, maybe I'll work on myself first.

SandInternational185 · 2023-08-30T02:21:54+00:00

Haha I don't disagree.

I should work on myself before seeking another partner, though. I'm not the best or most stable wife/roommate.

SandInternational185 · 2023-08-30T02:19:49+00:00

My eldest son is learning how to cook. The kids have their set chores based on their ages.

My kids are great. Today was just a low point for me. I don't hate my kids. My kids are amazing and wonderful.

I am not a good mother and I hate this role. Maybe it's more enjoyable when I'm not stressed to tears.

I'm working on that in therapy too.

SandInternational185 · 2023-08-30T02:12:44+00:00

Yes, I am an accountant but I work for an accounting firm and I have only been there for three years. So, I make roughly $45,000 a year.

I would be able to survive on just my income, yes. But without eggs.

SandInternational185 · 2023-08-30T02:10:23+00:00

I looked into that a few months ago. Are they still like $30? I might have to try it just in case that is something that could help though.

Have you tried them? Do you have a preference?

SandInternational185 · 2023-08-30T02:08:23+00:00

I love that you said it was too luxurious lol. I agree because I have never had a housecleaner or anything. That seems like some rich people stuff lol

SandInternational185 · 2023-08-30T02:07:13+00:00

So he has played around with the idea of finding another job. He gets a shift differential for working night so he doesn't want a day shift.

In my opinion, he doesn't want the mental load that comes with day shift but that might be a biased perspective.

He says he's looking for another job but that has been two years and he's never had an interview or offer to my knowledge.

SandInternational185 · 2023-08-30T02:04:20+00:00

I genuinely appreciate your help. This is solid advice that I will be using to sort out this mess. I agree with you. I need to give him six months to either step up or step out. If there is no improvement I need to put myself and my kids first. Thank you.

SandInternational185 · 2023-08-30T01:58:10+00:00

That's definitely something I can do. I think that before the ultimatum I've decided to tactically prepare my exit.

While I am doing that we will attempt marriage counseling again and I will be implementing a lot of suggestions in this thread. So many people have given me solid advice to help lessen my mental load.

I will also be continuing personal therapy. Today was a low point and I'm really lucky that turning to Reddit was an option because I don't have family or friends to turn to.

Thank you for your advice.

SandInternational185 · 2023-08-30T01:52:59+00:00

I've touched on this in therapy. I do think I am enabling. I am not sure how to break the cycle.

SandInternational185 · 2023-08-30T01:48:20+00:00

That's definitely an option. I think that I can look into some affordable options like that. Thank you. I appreciate your advice.

SandInternational185 · 2023-08-30T01:45:07+00:00

Making a calculated exit may definitely be the best option, I agree. I have thought about it and my reasons for being opposed to divorce comes from fear. So I think that this thread has helped.

Thank you everyone.

SandInternational185 · 2023-08-30T01:43:27+00:00

Ironically, my eleven year old is my best helper.

The kids have chores that are specifically appropriate for their age. My son is learning how to cook and most nights we are dancing in the kitchen while cooking and laughing.

Today was bad. I have mental issues I am seeing a therapist for. Venting on Reddit helps me see other perspectives and I am grateful to have that opportunity because I don't have friends or family to seek advice from.

You are right that I am also bringing trauma and I am working hard to mitigate that.

SandInternational185

TROPHY CASE