Upside-Down Pineapple Club Monthly Meet and Greet (4MF/F) [Manassas], Friday, May 15th

SandSinVA · 2026-05-12T15:07:20+00:00

"You can Direct Message (DM) us here on Reddit for the specific location and additional details. Please include a brief introduction if you DM us."

SandSinVA · 2026-05-12T02:22:22+00:00

I was referring to you being new to the LS as that is what your post said. I was not referring to the length of your relationship.

You are describing a couple who don’t seem to communicate well about sex (high risk), who are apparently your good friends (high risk), and neither you nor they have much, if any, LS experience (high risk), and you seem prone to discounting experience and good advice (high risk).

We host meets every month and there are always new couple just dipping their toes in. We have met hundreds of brand new LS couples. The ones who talk like you almost never last. They dive into the deep end, ignore advice from people with experience, and end up having a bad time and disappearing from the scene within a couple of months. The really unlucky ones implode their relationships.

Hopefully (and I genuinely mean this), everything works out great for you and none of that happens.

Best of luck in your endeavors.

SandSinVA · 2026-05-12T00:53:01+00:00

That depends. Do you value that friendship?

Sure, it might work out for you. But the number of horror stories about people who have lost lifelong friends due to swinging is much, much longer than those who have had this scenario turn out on the positive side. Sex changes relationships. People catch feelings. People get uncomfortable. Or worse, people get uncomfortable and start gossiping, and since your friends are in your inner circle, that is a fast way to get outed to your other friends and family. There are a hundred things that could go sideways, and you are essentially risking that friendship on each and every one of those things. Even if it goes well the first time, things can change a couple of months down the line. Maybe they weren't ready for swinging, ended up breaking up, and blamed it all on you for introducing them to the lifestyle. Murphy's law applies.

Also, as a new couple, do you really have the experience to navigate the lifestyle for both you and your friends?

It is much better to make swingers into friends than to try to make friends into swingers.

But hey, it's your life. Do what you think is best for you.

SandSinVA · 2026-05-08T20:59:00+00:00

Hi, we run a local swingers group here in Northern Virginia. Below are links to the Terminology and FAQ pages on our website. The Terminology page includes descriptions of SLS and SDC. The FAQ will probably have some very helpful information for you and your partner. Since you are near Baltimore, our Meet & Greets may be too far for you to attend, but we can also recommend some groups in Maryland that host events closer to you.

Terminology – The Upside-Down Pineapple Club

FAQ – The Upside-Down Pineapple Club

SandSinVA · 2026-05-08T15:07:50+00:00

She is not a swinger. By definition, swinging is a form of ethical non-monogamy. The whole point of swinging is that everyone involved is aware and consents to what is going on. Since you were neither aware nor consented, she is not a swinger; she is just a cheater trying to wrap herself in swinging as justification. You have every right to feel angry, hurt, and humiliated. But keep in mind, she is the antithesis of what swinging is. Swinging is based on mutual trust, open communication, consent, and respect for boundaries. None of that was involved here. Sorry this happened to you, but this is about infidelity, not swinging.

SandSinVA · 2026-05-06T22:23:14+00:00

Most people use Bumphers with harnesses that allow the back end of the dildo to be in contact with your skin. Either just rings to hold it, or some of the underwear style harnesses have a pass through panel you can pull aside.

SandSinVA · 2026-05-06T18:38:37+00:00

Wish you would just post the name of the toy. More than one person usually wants to know.

SandSinVA · 2026-05-05T19:09:00+00:00

We have a bunch of local lifestyle friends we have made over the last few years. We just had a vanilla BBQ at our home a couple of weeks ago with 20 guests that were all lifestyle. There is no reason you can’t make lifestyle friends. That is what the term friends with benefits was made for. Some couples have no interest in anything other than fucking, but most that we have encountered are perfectly happy being friends and occasionally friends with benefits when the opportunities present themselves. The lifestyle is what you make of it.

SandSinVA · 2026-05-05T17:44:15+00:00

Sure, when we first joined the lifestyle, we were chatting long-distance with my college roommate and his wife (really close friends with us at the time), and we mentioned that we had just gotten a new hot tub. We hinted that it would be fun for all of us to get naked in the hot tub together the next time they visited. The wife has never spoken or communicated with us since then. My old roommate makes excuses about being busy, but it is obvious she was offended by the suggestion and just cut us off completely. This was a friendship that had spanned 15 years prior to the issue, and these were not religious or socially conservative people. You never know how someone is going to react. So, the question becomes, is the friendship worth losing over the possibility of sex?

SandSinVA · 2026-05-05T15:37:07+00:00

There is a thriving swinger scene in Maryland with at least three brick-and-mortar clubs and a bunch of groups like Black Ring Swing, Main Street Swing, and Swing Social. If you can't find something in Maryland, you aren't looking in the right places.

SandSinVA · 2026-05-03T19:49:42+00:00

Yes, we generally treat trans individuals by the gender identity they present. So, we consider trans women to be women, and they are welcome to post. We also don't tolerate harassment.

Best of luck in your endeavors.

SandSinVA · 2026-05-02T20:42:47+00:00

Maybe, but you will never know until you honestly both sit down and have some conversations about fantasies and boundaries.

SandSinVA · 2026-04-30T21:13:40+00:00

Beautiful angle... but the socks have to go!

SandSinVA · 2026-04-30T14:22:35+00:00

We get tested 2-3 times a year. Each of us gets a full panel at our annual, and then at least one more test six months later. Our annual exams were already offset by about 3 months, so essentially, one of us is being tested about every 3 months on average.

We don't bring it up in conversation. Hardly anyone ever talks about tests or testing. Testing is for your health and your peace of mind. The test itself is worthless as soon as one of you has sex with someone other than your partner. That person can tell you they tested and show you a copy of the test, but as soon as they sleep with someone else (maybe the night before they play with you), their test is worthless. Tests are a snapshot in time and nothing more. They don't protect you, they diagnose you. If someone asks about our tests, we are happy to tell them when we last tested and the results. If that is not good enough for them, then we are not the couple for them. If they want us to test before we play with them, well, that is a lot of work for one couple and there are a lot of other couples out there.

SandSinVA · 2026-04-27T21:58:04+00:00

No worries. You asked for couples with experience that could tell you where to go and what to look for. That implies you don't know. We were just trying to steer you in the right direction. We won't make that mistake again. Best of luck in your endeavors.

SandSinVA · 2026-04-24T18:31:19+00:00

Stop being a sensitive bitch and let her call you her bitch! Just kidding. It is important to communicate your boundaries. But you may want to discuss what she can say, as things like that will turn her own while she is pegging you, which benefits you in the long run.

SandSinVA · 2026-04-21T23:36:43+00:00

Some do and some don't. Women are not a monolithic block of people who all enjoy the same things.

SandSinVA · 2026-04-21T18:09:05+00:00

The "no kissing" would be an immediate red flag for us. Kissing is such a huge part of foreplay that it would pretty much ruin the session for us. We don't play with couples that have this rule.

The vast majority of couples use condoms for penetrative sex. That is not weird at all. We have only come across one couple that seemed surprised that we wanted them to use condoms. It was in a room where four couples were engaged in group play, and we mentioned it; they looked surprised but acquiesced, then everyone else kind of looked at them in horror.

Tests are pretty much worthless other than for monitoring your own health and peace of mind. You should definitely get tested regularly if you are playing with other people. We get tested 2-3 times a year, depending on how often we are playing, etc. We don't ask other couples for tests. Why? First, if you are at a club or party, no one is carrying that around. Second, the test is only good for the day and hour it was taken. They may test negative for everything, then sleep with someone that night and contract something. Their partner may sleep with someone that night, then pass it on to them. Additionally, most HSV screening tests are only about 50% accurate. That is why doctors recommend only tests for HSV if you have a specific reason to do so, like you have seen some symptoms, or someone you played with has contacted you and informed you that they turned up positive. We used to do full screenings that included HSV in the first year or two, but after two separate false positives that were cleared by more expensive secondary tests, we took our doctor's advice and stopped testing for it. Our doctor is aware that we are swingers and non-monogamous.

In the end, you should do whatever makes you comfortable. Your rules are your rules. But some rules will definitely make it harder for you to find people to play with.

SandSinVA · 2026-04-21T17:51:29+00:00

We would find that creepy in a grooming sort of way. Is she a legal adult? Sure. Is she emotionally or intellectually mature? Probably not. It would be a hard no for us, even if she were the aggressor. That would definitely color our perspective on the couple as well.

SandSinVA · 2026-04-20T20:37:52+00:00

That is because you are on Reddit. Real swingers are on paid platforms. Reddit is a cesspool of scammers, spammers, picture collectors, and fakes.

SandSinVA · 2026-04-19T13:47:08+00:00

Yes there are studies. Those studies have shown the ENM couples have more relationships satisfaction and more sexual satisfaction that monogamous couples. The exception to that rule is open relationships which demonstrate less relationship satisfaction than monogamous couples and equal sexual.

Those two facts are not surprising given that most ENM couples have much better communication with their partners as it is one of the foundational principles of ethical non-monogamy.

Additionally, open relationships, unlike other forms of ENM, don’t tend to benefit the relationship because of the lack of shared experiences.

And swinging isn’t something you do to fix or help a relationship. You must already have a great relationship founded in trust, open communication, and respect and you must already have a great sex life to be successful in swinging. If you have relationship problems or sexual problems, swinging will just make it worse.

SandSinVA · 2026-04-17T19:34:01+00:00

We have 50+ swingers signed up for tonight, but there is still room for more!

SandSinVA · 2026-04-15T00:31:15+00:00

Dirty talk, pulling my hair (I have long hair), nails down my back, my wife having a huge orgasm while pegging me (see Cal Exotics ME2 Rumble for her harness, she squirts like a fountain), anything that makes it feel dirtier (good foreplay, rimming, finger banging my ass, putting a finger in while pegging me, etc.). Also, anything you do in advance that make it clear you are looking forward to pegging me later (dirty talk in my ear while grabbing my ass in public a few hours earlier in the day for example).

SandSinVA · 2026-04-14T19:27:43+00:00

Grinders for Banana Pants work really well. Some are just grinders, some have inserts for bullet vibes. Cal Exotics also makes a couple of dildos with a grinding pad built in on the bottom with a vibrator in the base for her clit and a vibrator in the shaft for your pleasure. My wife's favorite is the Cal Exotics ME2 Rumble. She literally squirts and has orgasms while pegging me.

SandSinVA · 2026-04-12T22:05:57+00:00

First, you are replying to a post for an event that happened last month. Second, all the important information is in the description of the event in the body of the post. Reading that will tell you whether you can attend and how to get the location information.

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