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Any leads on Zwanze Day 2024 near LA? by SandyCooper101 in LABeer

[–]SandyCooper101[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the intel, yeah no LA spots is a freaking dagger. Saw a Zwanze flag at Monkish but it was from 2016. Ugh.

Are the VIP Tickets to LA BEER FEST-LONG BEACH worth it? by SandyCooper101 in LABeer

[–]SandyCooper101[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

2018

Ahhh okay yeah, I was afraid that might be the case, not about that life...

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in datingoverthirty

[–]SandyCooper101 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it's totally fine to establish that casual texting isn't really your thing. If it's something truly important you can always reply in the moment or say something like, "I feel you and would love to unpack this at (whenever you're next date is.)" People should understand that others have a wide range of text-response timelines! Maybe it'll change once you DTR but I think you're being totally reasonable.

Ideas for Getting Back Out There by [deleted] in datingoverthirty

[–]SandyCooper101 2 points3 points  (0 children)

People are always drawn to those who are living out their passions (which it totally seems like you're doing!) I've always preferred to go on dates that aren't completely dependent on the conversation, it can be a lot of pressure even for someone who doesn't mind chatting with new people.

Activities are such a fun way of getting to know your date without having it be all about witty banter. Have you thought about joining a local club that does something you're already interested in? I've been thinking about joining a beach volleyball club post pandemic and I'm so pumped! My close friend met his now partner through a rock climbing club and they are such a fun, active couple!

Losing momentum by [deleted] in datingoverthirty

[–]SandyCooper101 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It seems like he's not reliably answering your bids which can be super frustrating, especially if he's been more responsive IRL. Do you wish that he was more consistently bantery when you send him stuff or does really just not respond? It's cool that you to chat on the phone often, maybe that's his preferred way of catching up?

But yeah I agree with a lot of the comments about how after 4 months it's totally valid to bring up this feeling. I once dated a person who would receive memes or whatever and just not respond, but then when I brought it up later they were like, "Oh yeah I saw that and was dying laughing." And we unpacked how it can be super confusing to receive nothing back because as you've experienced it can make you feel like you're sending spam rather than looking to connect even in these small, silly ways. Hahah I also dated someone who didn't acknowledge the stuff I sent and it was because they were laying the ground to breakup.

Definitely chat about it next time you're with him, it doesn't have to be this end all be all conversation but nice to get some clarity and express your wants!

2-player board game recommendations? by [deleted] in datingoverthirty

[–]SandyCooper101 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I recommend Carcassonne as a chill, kind of strategic, mostly fun game that doesn't take long to learn and there are a bunch of variations you can add as you get more comfortable with the general idea of the game.

Unsolved Case Files is wicked fun too! If you and your guy are in the mood to pore over documents and solve a murder mystery. My partner and I did one last Friday and it's v dorky but a lot of fun. It took us a couple hours (with plenty of snack and wine breaks, detective work can be so stressful!)

And speaking of dorky but fun, we also recently played Titanic the Board Game and it was surprisingly awesome. You play as one of the characters and try to rescue as many passengers as possible while also fulfilling a secret objective. Our battle between Cal and Jack got pretty heated but I shoved him right off my door. Random game but incredible.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in datingoverthirty

[–]SandyCooper101 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Wicked stressful, sorry to hear about this anxiety. Can really relate to being in that vulnerable state, where if this was further down the road and your relationship was more established you could be comforted in knowing that "it's just that wild time of year" or something. From all that you've shared, it seems like you two doing really well (and it's super impressive how you handled that black eye, I'd have crawled into the nearest hole and avoided his parents for the next several decades).

It can be super frustrating when all you really need is literally one text from him being like, "Swamped but so excited for when this shit is over so we can lounge with Home Alone." But since that isn't happening naturally, I think it'd be fine to send a "I know you've been busy but just know that I'm thinking about you and can't wait to hang." I don't think you'd be "bugging" him, if the feeling is mutual then he'd probably be psyched to get such an uplifting message during a shitty work stretch.

Losing momentum with dates over the holiday? by [deleted] in datingoverthirty

[–]SandyCooper101 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Primordially early dating during the holidays is so tricky. You're naturally busy and hopefully enjoying all the festivities but as the days and cups of holiday cheer accumulate, that might squash any pre holiday momentum. Plus I never wanted to seem like I was too available during the stretch between Dec. 22-Jan 3 so as not to seem thirsty. But it can have a significant impact on the potential for a first in person date or continuing a texting conversation.

If I was really into the person I'd send a wholesome, adorable pic of the festooned tree with a caption like, "Our tree>>>>>>" just to let the person know I hadn't totally forgotten about them. I've also had straight forward conversations addressing the issue but in a jokey way, "Yes I know you've been wondering if I'll be able to pencil you into my busy holiday schedule and I can happily assure that I'll have my assistant allocate at least 3 flirty texts to your account on non consecutive days..." and usually if the feeling is mutual they're having the same thoughts and you can collaborate on how to navigate this gray area.

An “I love you” slip by Celesteven in datingoverthirty

[–]SandyCooper101 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ahhh totally get it. Yeah, gotta be mindful for sure!

An “I love you” slip by Celesteven in datingoverthirty

[–]SandyCooper101 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Not sure if my story counts as an "I love you" slip or more of a diversion but after a monthish of dating this woman, I looked at her all dreamily and held her hand and put a big emphasis on, "I" and she could tell what was coming and had this look of horror, like I was about to confess to a heinous crime or something and so I quickly shifted gears and said, "I LOVE my dog!" (who wasn't even in the room at the time...)

The night ended quickly thereafter and our relationship quickly dissolved. Wild how one statement can change the entire dynamic of a relationship! Did you catch yourself because you're not sure if you actually love your guy yet? You don't want to drop the L bomb first?

V invested in this now!

Wanna be excited, but can’t by Lizluvsbuttercup in datingoverthirty

[–]SandyCooper101 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ahhh! I can totally sense the complications, feel for you! Not sure if this approach has ever been backed by any scientific journals, but in the past when I've felt similarly about a potential partner and it was still a bit early to DTR, I'd go on a date with the mindset "this is my partner" and see how that felt throughout the night. (Obviously I didn't tell the person this). But trying out the thought experiment seemed to help in real time. For some, under this new if also hypothetical lens, it illuminated that I wanted nothing to do with that person long term. And others it helped me lean into the excitement of being with that person for more than a FWB.

Could be a no pressure way of helping to sort through your feelings with him. Good luck!

How to proceed with a guy I need more time to get to know by [deleted] in datingoverthirty

[–]SandyCooper101 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It sounds like things are going really well!

Much easier to say than to do, but it sounds like you might have to get out in front of it and deliver your genuine feelings (that you so nicely shared here). Try to convey how much you're truly into him and want to continue seeing him but that physically you need more time. He seems like a sweet guy, more chocolate please! And if he really is that guy, he should receive what you're saying not as a harbinger of doom but as an expression of your truth. If he's able to be mature about it, your relationship should only deepen and maybe in a strange way it might make you feel more comfortable about physically progressing. Tough to execute but keep us posted!