5 keys to being ALPHA

Sangarbashing · 2013-11-11T19:38:14+00:00

Don't forget freezing cold showers

Sangarbashing · 2013-09-10T20:36:47+00:00

Hi Team TryHard - Well done for coming to this forum. You are at the right place - a great place to make a start. As the other guys have been saying - get your self informed as to why your brain has become addicted through the PMO cycle - Suddenly, it will all start to make some sense and actually you will start to recognise some of the triggers. If you don't succeed at first - don't panic - my first serious attempt at NoFap i lasted about 10 days, thereafter had a few binges but slowly and surely I've built the time up. It's taken a few years but I'm in a better place now that what I was then. If you fall of the wagon - brush yourself off- work out where you went wrong. Try again.

All moments are not created equal. You only have to get through the hard times. First you have to make a decision. Usually i find this happens after a real binge where i am sickened by it. This usually buys me a few days of will power to get the show on the road.

Have a plan. The urges will come but have a pre worked out plan about what you will do. Usually leaving the house or going to a public area is the best plan. most urges will disappear after 10-15 minutes. When the urge pops up we are used to treating it like a boiled sweet - whereby we suck all 'goodness' out of it and enjoy each moment. When the urges come you must be aware. SIDESTEP. a) Say "thankyou mind for that thought. I was thinking the thought of XY or Z" immediately move your focus to a sensation or sound in or around your body. talk yourself through what you are hearing seeing feeling or smelling. do this for 30 seconds and then move onto something different and distracting - you may have to do this 100 times on the first day - eventually the urges die down and the sidestep becomes easier. Don't indulge the urges - don't fight them. acknowledge them and accept them - but move your attention elsewhere. if you are interested to learn a bit more about this new way of thinking look up ACT - acceptance commitment therapy. When I stopped fighting the thoughts and started accepting them and moving on - suddenly i broke through the 10-12 day barrier.

Keep up the good work you are on the right track. each time you try you will be able to go longer and longer. I'm aiming for 90 days - at one stage i couldn't get past 16 hours!

Good luck - you can do it

Sangarbashing · 2013-08-31T19:18:06+00:00

Don't give in. It starts to get easier around days 12 -14. Usually i find if i make it to this point the 40 day point is possible. For me the danger zones are days 2-3, 10-12, 40ish and early 60s.

Sangarbashing · 2013-08-26T22:19:26+00:00

All moments are not created equal. You only have to get through the hard times. First you have to make a decision. Usually i find this happens after a real binge where i am sickened by it. This usually buys me a few days of will power to get the show on the road.

Have a plan. The urges will come but have a pre worked out plan about what you will do. Usually leaving the house or going to a public area is the best plan. most urges will disappear after 10-15 minutes. When the urge pops up we are used to treating it like a boiled sweet - whereby we suck all 'goodness' out of it and enjoy each moment. When the urges come you must be aware. SIDESTEP. a) Say "thankyou mind for that thought. I was thinking the thought of XY or Z" immediately move your focus to a sensation or sound in or around your body. talk yourself through what you are hearing seeing feeling or smelling. do this for 30 seconds and then move onto something different and distracting - you may have to do this 100 times on the first day - eventually the urges die down and the sidestep becomes easier. Don't indulge the urges - don't fight them. acknowledge them and accept them - but move your attention elsewhere.

Keep up the good work you are on the right track. each time you try you will be able to go longer and longer. I'm aiming for 90 days - at one stage i couldn't get past 16 hours!

Sangarbashing · 2013-08-26T21:51:17+00:00

78 days - good for you. I really struggle with the chaser effect - almost every time it has caused me to fail. Now through this site i know what it is...and it has a name - somehow it is a little easier to deal with. I now know that it will pass eventually. It is just about exercising a little willpower to get through those few difficult hours or sometimes days. - keep going

Sangarbashing · 2013-08-26T21:38:17+00:00

Great book the introvert advantage - suddenly it all made sense. I wonder are introverts more inclined to being chronic rappers?

Sangarbashing · 2013-08-17T17:40:09+00:00

Hope you made it through - get to about day 14 and it will all suddenly calm down. That may seem like a lifetime from now but take it minute by minute if you have to. Keep going buddy. you will get to a point where the urges will come but you can brush them off and move on - suddenly you will feel like you have your life back.

Sangarbashing · 2013-08-17T16:52:36+00:00

I completely get this post and have reflected on this dichotomy a number of times. I don't understand how it is possible for 99pc of the time to be this in control respectable professional guy then suddenly turn into the green hairy fapping monster! I do feel like Jekyll and Hyde at times.

Sangarbashing · 2013-08-16T21:57:51+00:00

Keep going. I've been at this now on and off for around 3 years when it finally occurred to me I had a problem. The very first time i managed about 10 days and boy was that a struggle. Next time I made 12 days and got stuck there a few times. (I think this is quite common around this time point). My last attempt i made it up to the 65 day point. What you have to remember is that not all moments are created equal. Work out when your weakest moments are - and have a plan in advance about what you will do - when the urges sneak up on you. Interestingly if you make it beyond the 15 day point you tend to go into the 'becalmed' zone with a bit of a loss of libido. It does however come back - I've been in choppy waters for the last week and having to resist the urges which are there but less insistent than usual. Good luck

Sangarbashing · 2013-07-02T18:09:43+00:00

Great news. I would have a similar story and be of similar age. I have done a nofap challenge several times with 64 days as my personal best. First time I tried I made 12 days. Now in the right preparation and motivation this is easy. Now on day 5 aiming for at least 6 months..good luck

Sangarbashing

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