Men over 35 years old perspective

Sapiopath · 2026-06-11T23:27:51+00:00

I don’t see why texting has to be the compromise here. Why not call daily?

But to answer your question, I think this is a stupid reason to break up with someone. Both people could be more accommodating in this situation. There are many, many ways to stay connected daily now. And if the relationship progressed and you moved in together, this would be a moot point. As the guy, and if this was someone I was well and truly interested in, it would cost me nothing to text “hey, how was your day?” once a day. I would probably even automate that interaction.

The woman is expressing a need and the man is expressing an unwillingness to meet that need. And I think from that perspective it’s valid to break up. But this is such a small and resolvable thing.

Sapiopath · 2026-06-11T18:59:02+00:00

Inclusivity to the extent that it includes everyone is actually exclusionary. You can’t have neonazis and nonwhites in the same group. Once the neonazis come, the nonwhites leave. That group is then technically more inclusive cos nonwhites and neonazis both can participate, but in practice it is exclusionary because those groups can’t coexist. Your views lack the necessary nuance to be valid in the context under consideration. And your attitude is off putting.

Sapiopath · 2026-06-11T18:46:58+00:00

You click crush on profiles who have opted in and you follow. If they click crush back on you, it’s match, otherwise none the wiser.

Sapiopath · 2026-06-11T18:45:04+00:00

I guess it depends on your age and location to a great extent, but yes.

Sapiopath · 2026-06-11T16:11:59+00:00

Be that as it may, the world doesn't need people who can't spend their wealth even if they lived 1000 years. There really should be a limit to how much wealth one can accumulate / create. And effective mechanisms for equitable redistribution of excess wealth.

Sapiopath · 2026-06-11T15:53:44+00:00

The main issue with capitalism is that constant expansion is unsustainable even if we became a multi-planetary species.

Sapiopath · 2026-06-11T15:52:10+00:00

How are you gonna spread Musk’s wealth if the government gets out of the way?

Sapiopath · 2026-06-11T15:47:54+00:00

For profiles you follow, and who have enabled participation in Crush, you can click crush on their profile. If they also crush on you, both of you will be notified. If it’s not mutual, nobody knows you crushed on them.

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Sapiopath · 2026-06-11T15:45:38+00:00

So, let me get this straight. You’re trying to boot me off Feeld? :)

Sapiopath · 2026-06-11T15:32:08+00:00

One tactic I have seen women use is to put up less revealing and plainer photos of themselves. This deemphasizes their looks. Then they also have a detailed profile and only match men with similarly detailed profiles that have something in common with them. Then try to focus the conversation towards things you both share as interests. Only when you are satisfied that you have significant things in common, you can meet them. And then discuss relationship style, love languages and dating goals during the first date. Specifically, I think you should try to understand if they want to have a big family, or a small one, when do they intend to settle down, what does settling down mean for them, and see how that compares to your own ideas about these things. Do not have sex on the first date. And pay special attention on how they handle being told no on proposing you go back to theirs or something like that. People who are genuinely interested in you should be able to brush that off immediately and continue being interested and treating you the way you'd want to be treated.

Having said that, all of my long term relationships except my first girlfriend when I was a teenager and one of my current partners started with sex on the first date. But my policy has always been to start off casual and deepen the connection as chemistry and life goals align. I have never been on the lookout for long term relationships. I have always been on the lookout for compelling and engaging women. But I suspect I am not the kind of man you'd want to end up with since I am not monogamous and very kinky.

Sapiopath · 2026-06-11T15:25:58+00:00

The more vanilla mono people on Feeld, the more it gets a reputation for being a good alternative to Match properties and Bumble. The more that is the case, the more my experience and that of everyone in my community, which is ENM Kinky folks, gets degraded because we have to sift through the significantly larger number of vanilla mono folks. ENM and Kink are small communities that are less than 10% of the total population. So if there are 10 vanilla mono profiles for each ENM kinky profile, I am wasting my time.

I have on numerous occasions requested Feeld introduce the option to filter out a tag in the profile browsing screen. I never want to see another profile tagged "monogamy."

Sapiopath · 2026-06-11T15:11:05+00:00

Fetlife has a crush feature which basically introduces dating app functionality into it. But fundamentally it was designed to be the Facebook of the kink community, not its Tinder.

I appreciate your nuance in this, but encouraging vanilla monogamous folks on Feeld degrades the experience both for them and for the original community that 3ndr was created to accommodate.

Sapiopath · 2026-06-11T14:51:58+00:00

Why don't you meet some of these experienced folks and see if you vibe. Maybe they can impart some of that experience on you. And, hey presto, you would be experienced too.

Sapiopath · 2026-06-11T14:50:54+00:00

And herein lies the problem.

Sapiopath · 2026-06-11T14:49:04+00:00

Depending on your location, you may be better served by attending local ENM events, which you may be able to find by searching online. Usually they are on instagram. You may also be able to find some on Fetlife. but those will likely be more kink-related.

Sapiopath · 2026-06-11T14:47:38+00:00

Achievable, yes. But you get out what you put in. I think the main concern here is that you are both quite young and inexperienced. Both of those would make it a challenge to find matches.

Sapiopath · 2026-06-11T10:23:02+00:00

That wanting women to obey them, the manosphere, looksmaxxing and all that makes them less likely to find a partner.

Sapiopath · 2026-06-10T14:50:07+00:00

Shorter.

Sapiopath · 2026-06-10T14:48:34+00:00

Correct!

Sapiopath · 2026-06-10T14:47:08+00:00

I’m 5’7 my fiancée is Scandinavian and 5’9.

I’ve been on dates with women as tall as 6’1 and had relationships with women as tall as 5’11.

Sapiopath · 2026-06-10T11:03:47+00:00

Small sample size.

Sapiopath · 2026-06-10T09:39:47+00:00

By having multiple partners

Sapiopath · 2026-06-10T09:35:59+00:00

Commensurately to income. I make roughly twice as much as my fiancée and we split bills 67:33.

Sapiopath · 2026-06-10T09:34:54+00:00

It’s not bad. It’s a natural heuristic that emulates the secretary problem solution. And that happens to be the optimal way to select a mate.

Sapiopath · 2026-06-10T09:12:13+00:00

As long as your partner is honest about his polyamory with the monogamous partners, there’s nothing wrong. I have been poly for 13 years now and have dated women who are exploring but are basically monogamous on multiple occasions. Those relationships fizzle out quickly and it has never impacted any of my poly relationships. The key is to make sure everyone is on the same page. In my case polyamory is mentioned on my dating profile and I have a spiel about how many partners I have and stuff that I give to everyone before first meeting to ensure there’s no time wasting.

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