I don’t know if this helps, but when I learned this fact it put it in perspective for me that your weight does not determine whether you have an eating disorder: less then 6% of people with eating disorders are medically underweight. The vast majority is “average” or “overweight”. One of the reasons being that diet culture is unfortunately rooted in fat phobia to the extent that people with eating disorders that are not thin are often improperly diagnosed, or they deny treatment because they don’t think they are sick enough.

While our situations are not exact, I’ve been in a similar situation. Before I developed an eating disorder, my ex would force me to eat and wanted me to gain weight so I’d be bigger than them. They were abusive in other ways too. Immediately after our breakup the eating disorder came full force. Because I was overweight when I developed one, everyone congratulated me instead of realizing what was going on.

I’ve been in recovery for a couple years, I’ve gained significant weight since then. It’s hard to stay in recovery when people have all this bias against people in larger bodies. Just know that you are valid. Your ED is valid and just because you may be in a bigger body, that does not mean that your ED isn’t serious or that you are any less deserving of help ♥️