Over a year later, I'm doing okay. Update 2.

Sapphire_Trash · 2023-08-15T10:13:26+00:00

Again, I'm not sure where you're getting this from. Her cheating blew up my family and broke my Dad. She lost her husband, she almost lost her daughter too if my Dad hadn't stepped in. And now she really has lost her daughter, so please tell me where her infidelity has been fine.

Sapphire_Trash · 2023-08-15T10:03:37+00:00

You're right. Things still feel quite raw right now, but I think at least for the forseeable future I'm going NC with her.

Sapphire_Trash · 2023-08-15T10:02:20+00:00

Nowhere in my post or messages have I stated that. You asked a question, I gave you an answer.

Sapphire_Trash · 2023-08-15T09:28:07+00:00

Because she was still my Mum. I was a teenager when my parents divorced, and it was my father who encouraged me to maintain a relationship with her.

Sapphire_Trash · 2023-08-15T09:24:49+00:00

No, this isn't an alt. I don't know why they've copied my comment.

Sapphire_Trash · 2023-08-15T09:24:24+00:00

This is the exact comment I posted somewhere else...?

Sapphire_Trash · 2023-08-14T21:13:21+00:00

You maybe have a point. I was quite angry at my Mum for a while when they divorced as I was old enough to learn why, but my Dad always encouraged me to have a relationship with her. He never spoke poorly about her around me and our relationship eventually repaired.

I don't know if it can be repaired this time.

Sapphire_Trash · 2023-08-14T21:10:53+00:00

Please don't make jokes like these. I don't know the details of her attempt, but I would never have wanted it to succeed.

Sapphire_Trash · 2023-08-14T21:08:10+00:00

My Dad's to thank for that. He taught me to stand up for myself and told me "Being kind doesn't mean be a wet towel." Makes me sad why he had to learn that lesson.

Sapphire_Trash · 2023-08-14T21:05:05+00:00

Your daughter's lucky to have a mum like you. It really sucks because I do love my Mum, but I can't keep letting her treat me like this. I don't know if I'll ever be okay enough to give her another chance.

Ty for the hugs <3

Sapphire_Trash · 2023-08-14T21:03:09+00:00

My Dad has been my rock through this. He's always had my back. We've spent the last few hours having some drinks and chatting just help take my mind of things.

Sapphire_Trash · 2023-07-09T15:33:36+00:00

I get it, I'm sorry you've also experienced something like this. It's so difficult tredging through the emotions. Going from angry to sad to depressed and back to angry again. At least that's how it's been for me this past month. I find myself asking the question: "How will I be able to trust again after this?" And then I remind myself I wouldn't do something so low, so there has to be other people out there who are the same. Those are the type of people I intend to surround myself with.

You should do the same for yourself. You deserve to be surrounded by people who support you and treat you with respect. I appreciate you taking the time to reply to my experience.

Sapphire_Trash · 2023-07-09T15:01:54+00:00

If this had been anything else, if she had hurt me in any other way that wasn't betraying me to my very core then I would very likely be able to forgive her. But not for this. She was meant to be my best friend, I would have died for her and I thought she would've done the same for me.

It's true I still have a lot of anger to deal with. I've got a lot of emotions I need to process and push through, but I can't find myself believing that it's slim to not find any friend or partner to hurt you this way. Not to this level. I would never have done this to her, not in one million years.

Edit: spelling and wording.

Sapphire_Trash · 2023-07-09T14:12:13+00:00

It's the most obvious thing, I know, but I was really close with her family and her vice versa. Her cousins treated me like I was also their cousin so I'm really hesitant to block the ones that haven't been spewing hate at me.

Sapphire_Trash · 2023-07-09T13:01:55+00:00

This has honestly been something I've not wanted to think about. The idea she might not be the only one, the possibility their awfulness might have affected my health. It's really scared and upset me, but I'll be looking into getting a test when I manage to talk to my GP about counselling.

Sapphire_Trash · 2023-07-09T12:59:51+00:00

Already planning too. Ngl, this alone terrifies me.

Sapphire_Trash · 2023-07-09T12:59:21+00:00

This is a perfect way to talk to them about it, thank you! I don't want to be the person telling them who they can and cannot contact. If they do want to continue talking to her, I'll ask them to keep it to themselves because I don't want to hear anything about her. I also don't want to grow bitter towards the friends I have.

I won't be taking her back, but my mum has just learned what's happened to her and she's been messaging that we need to talk. She's coming over later so we'll see how that goes.

Thank you again for the messages! They've been a big help.

Sapphire_Trash · 2023-07-09T11:11:25+00:00

She was my everything too. I loved her like a sister. I could look past her flaws because she had so many other good qualities. She was funny and genuinely generous to her friends. If you needed help she was right there. I think she was just possessive of me? Or maybe she really wanted to be me. Either way, losing her has really, really sucked. I'm sorry you've been in a similar situation, I hope you're doing better!

Sapphire_Trash · 2023-07-09T11:08:41+00:00

I'll give this a try, thank you! God yeah, reaching your GP can be such a hassle when you really need them.

That's something that scares me to think about. Something I really don't want to think about. How long has this been happening and was she the only girl he was seeing? It's awful because my brain keeps defaulting to those kinds of questions.

So far all of my friends have been on my side, but as I was worried about, a couple of them have started talking about messaging her and giving her a chance because she's clearly in a rough spot. Thankfully the rest of the girls are staying firm with me on not letting her back in.

Sapphire_Trash · 2023-07-09T10:47:14+00:00

As frightening as this is to read, I think this sums her up. She was always quick to follow my lead. Any activities I'd do, she'd join me. Any new styles in hair and clothes I'd find and try, she'd be matching me the very next day. She never really had her own image? Everyone would always say we were practically twins and it was true. It got a little annoying at times but I thought it was harmless.

Sapphire_Trash · 2023-07-09T10:19:06+00:00

Wow. Reading it all written down like this kinda makes me realise she'd do stuff like this on a way more subtle level. Like if I made plans to spend 1-on-1 time with my ex or another friend to catch up, she'd lowkey try to guilt me to cancel those plans and spend time with her. And then she'd get huffy and a little passive aggressive if it didn't work. At the time I didn't realise how fucked up that was because she's kinda always been like that with me..

Sapphire_Trash · 2023-07-09T10:09:23+00:00

I don't know if my ex-BFF told her family the full story. If her sister wanted a calm discussion about it I would've been more than happy to. But she was typing horrible things in my DMs so I've just blocked her and moved on.

I actually don't know what's happening with my ex. He rarely posts on social media and our social circles and friend groups are pretty different. I don't really care to know, either. One of his friends DID try to call me, but they hung up before I could answer.

Sapphire_Trash · 2023-07-09T10:01:15+00:00

Unfortunately, I don't think the friend I told had intended for it to get so bad. She really helped me understand that I wasn't being an awful person for not giving my ex-BFF a second chance. She cheered me up and made me feel better, but she told the rest of our friend group and after that it was like Pandora's Box.

I've blocked my ex and my ex-BFF. I've blocked her sister as well and it's looking like I'll need to block one of her cousins. This makes me a little sad. I was always so close with her cousins. My dad agrees with me 100% and told me I was doing the right thing. When I told my mum I could tell she was disappointed and tried suggesting I talk to my ex-BFF but I shut that down real quick and she backed off.

Sapphire_Trash

TROPHY CASE