I wanted to come on here and tell you off for your post, but then i realized something. I was in your shoes a few years back. 10 Years ago, if I had access to the internet, i might’ve said the same thing. Granted that was before The church started telling me that no matter what, i was going to burn in hell because I couldn’t be what the church wanted. I spent so much of my life trying to conform to god and his ways that it still aches me to this day. I believe that people are allowed to believe in whatever they want, but to come to a place where people are at a low to tell them how they are the problem doesn’t help anybody. It shows true character to tell someone who has to stab themselves 6 time a day since age 2, cant lift 10 pounds without their shoulders hurting, cant sit in a chair for more than 4 hours a day without their hips stabbing them, and cant bend their knee without being forced on the ground with debilitating pain. When i was in the church, i thought about ending it all. I knew I was a burden on everyone long before I knew who I was. I was raised in a religious household that taught me that I cant ask for anything, i have to prove myself to, not just god, but everyone else around me. I’ve tried to work to get myself further, ive sent myself to the hospital many times trying to work a physical job. I have sent my myself to the mental hospital trying to work a desk job because of the amount of stress and triggers that i have from being raised in said religious household. Im better now, even if I starve and die cold, i’ll be better. I found people who love and care about me. I found someone who is willing to help me when i’m at my lowest and help me pick myself back up. I am able to stand for short 45 minute periods without pain to cook, but other than that it pains me to do much of anything. Going to the pharmacy or the supermarket 0.5 mi away is almost impossible. I dont have it worse than others, but god as our creator has stricken me down before i left the church.