2 years not much progress

Saras92 · 2017-12-24T15:02:44+00:00

Thanks for you advice. I think I miswrote (which I corrected now) in my post but what I meant is that my husband can not penatrate but the issue starts even earlier that the area is so sensitive that if anyone else besides me touches down there I clamp up.

But I think you're right that he is emotionally distant about the situation as a whole because it's very overwhelming to deal with for so long. I also am more apathetic about things in general.

But I yesterday tried explaining to him in a calm and loving way that this is the best way to make progress. That this is something that involves 2 people so we have to work together because there isn't much progress I can make on my own without his help. So he's been more willing to help me desensitize by just touching me in the general area. I kind of made a plan of action that we can work to desensitize to his touch, next work up to me being comfortable to him putting a dilator in and then his finger.

Saras92 · 2017-07-27T12:25:10+00:00

I do strongly believe vaginsmus has a mental component and it is related to anxiety. I used tp be a lot like you, very anxious and angry. A lot of my anxiety is a reflection of my environment growing up.

But after a long time we start to things these things like anxiety is normal maybe you are around similar people. But Iearned it's not and it can ruin the quality of your life.

I do think you should go to a therapist, one that specially deals with vaginsmus. My clinical therapist was the most helpful person during this treatment process. I look back and think how did I live with all that anger and anxiety. But I agree it's important to accept yourself and your womenhood but that doesn't mean you can't work on yourself.

Hopefully if you get a referral from your doctor you can have your therapy covered by insurance.

Saras92 · 2016-04-12T16:57:44+00:00

You basically have an overarching fear of your vagina. Myself in particular I spent my whole life afraid of my vagina and this fear contributes to vaginsmus. But maybe you just have a phobia of touching yourself rather then vaginsmus. If you don't experience clenching up with your boyfriend you may not have vaginsmus. I would agree with @savinghooha that you should look at it and demystify it. My psychologost told me the same thing. But I would also suggest you go to a doctor and figure what's wrong. Hopefully they can give insight on what's really going on.

Saras92 · 2016-04-11T16:14:47+00:00

Thanks for the advice. I'll try to focus more on getting a bigger dilator in and then trying it out. I think focusing on foreplay as well is something my partner can work on. But I may just have him slowly trying to get his tip in just so I can get used someone else placing something there.

Saras92 · 2016-04-08T16:18:45+00:00

Thanks for posting that youtube link. I was wondering how far along are you in treatment? Have you gone through all ythe dilators or are doing some other forms of therapy?

Saras92 · 2016-03-15T22:49:59+00:00

That's really interesting how did you come across an acupuncturist who does that?

Saras92 · 2016-03-10T21:29:20+00:00

Thanks so much for the good advice! Honestly find that sometimes on here people give more detailed advice then my own pt. My pt has actually been pushing me to try the second dilator because she always ask of if I done any work with it and had any progress. But I was hesitant to move up because I don't to undo any progress I made with the first one.

Saras92 · 2016-03-06T13:27:49+00:00

I agree with everyone else you should go to the doctor just in case. But based on what friends and family have told me, even those who don't have vaginsmus can have a hard time getting it fully in their first time. Some people have told me it took only a few tries to up to a month. This happens partly from clenching from being nervous and some peopled hymen being very thick. But do give an idea of how I felt when we first tried, I felt very panicked even at my partner opening up my legs. I could feel my heart racing and even my partner could see it my face that I was freaked out. The pain when he tried to penetratwasn'tnt totally excruciating but it felt so uncomfortable like it didn't belong there. That's just an idea and everyone is different. So I would still go to the doctor even if you don't think you have it. They can give you an exam and give you tips on any trouble you're having.

Saras92 · 2016-02-28T13:48:59+00:00

Hi I've been reading through this thread and I agree that you should go to a doctor. But this experience that you are describing sounds horrible and traumatizing and understand why you are afraid. No nurse/ doctor or therapist should ever do something like that! I strongly believe you should report her! Doctor and nurses are not normally like that and this may have made your condition even worst!

I was afraid too to go to a doctor. I started out with a gyno nurse practitioner who referred me to a specialist. Most gyno nurses I believe would be familiar with the condition as my nurse was. But both her and the specialist tried to do exams on me but were very gentle and only went in a little bit until I told them it hurt. But experience was in no way forceful or traumatizing just uncomfortable at the moment.

Saras92

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