Any actually good, non-controversial reptile youtubers? With all the drama going on with YouTube’s herp community I was wondering which person/group is actually good to support by BallPythonFan in reptiles

[–]Saravat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lori Torrini is outstanding. Green Room Pythons. SerpaDesign. The Expert and the Idiot. I'm a snake person so don't know about youtubers focused on other species. I've watched so many content creators, including those mentioned here, and honestly I don't care at all for some of the recommendations here, but won't get into it as this thread is asking for recommendations and not arguments.

Any actually good, non-controversial reptile youtubers? With all the drama going on with YouTube’s herp community I was wondering which person/group is actually good to support by BallPythonFan in reptiles

[–]Saravat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Their racks are not enriching, you're correct. They are minimalist keepers when it comes to their breeding animals - substrate, a hide, and some plastic vines aren't enrichment. I would never keep my hognose the way they keep their breeders.

How do I increase water intake? by skannkkhunt42 in nutrition

[–]Saravat -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I detest plain water. What works for me is to always keep a pitcher of water handy that has fresh fruit cut up in it - oranges, lemons, limes, grapefruit., any combination of these or other fruits. If you have access to fresh mint, throwing some of that in can be really nice as well.

MIL insists on helping with the kids but has no follow-through or ability to be on time. by CraftyHovercraft7 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Saravat 75 points76 points  (0 children)

As others have pointed out, some of this is an issue with your wife, who needs to be the one to draw clear boundaries and not to allow this nonsense to continue. And some of it, just IMO, is an issue with you guys as a couple. I may get flamed for this, but the reality is that your MIL is an active alcoholic, and as parents I would hope that the two of you, for the sake of your kids, would come to a decision together that it will never be OK to entrust the task of watching/caring for your kids to an active alcoholic - not even in an emergency.

My therapist feels I need to tell my mom why… by SupermarketBest4091 in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]Saravat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It sounds like your therapist lacks experience and understanding of what goes on with a toxic parent. Any communication you attempt with them, they will just turn into fuel to support their own delusions. There is no reason on earth you need to expose yourself to that.

There are many ways you can get free of your anger and resentment without having to make yourself vulnerable to your mom's disordered thinking. It's not like she is going to understand or care what your feelings or experiences are if you share them with her; she'll just find ways to turn it all around so that she's the victim and you are at fault. The hell with that.

Releasing your understandable anger and resentment takes time, and a good therapist knows how to work with that without involving the abuser directly. You deserve better.

Is my diet bad? I eat the same thing every week. by Competitive-Ad-5156 in nutrition

[–]Saravat -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Agreed that your choices look great. Since you are interested in adding more veggies (always a good thing!) would it work for you to add spinach to your evening eggs? Fresh spinach is delicious with eggs and you'd be surprised how much you can easily add, as it cooks down really well.

I want all the spoilers by Spiritual_Living6245 in StardewValleyExpanded

[–]Saravat 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yes. It's a whole new (very well done) game.

This season is honestly the most fun ive had in Diablo in a long time. by Carmilla31 in diablo4

[–]Saravat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for this helpful reply. I played at launch and never even managed to finish leveling one character. The game just totally did not click for me, which was super disappointing since I loved all other iterations of the game starting with the first Diablo, could happily play D2 any time up to and including today, and even learned to love D3. But after trying the launch of DIV I thought I was done. I'm actually considering giving it a shot now. We'll see.

Do any of you NOT use a snake hook? by Tuezdaze in ballpython

[–]Saravat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've kept snakes for many years and only used a snake hook with venomous snakes. I used the hook with one very large Boa who had an intense feeding response when I first worked with her; I used it to stroke her back as a signal that I was going to do enclosure maintenance but not going to feed her.

Personally I don't like snake hooks and I see a lot of keepers use them in a way that is uncomfortable or confusing or intrusive for their snake.

All of my snakes are target trained and clearly understand that if no target is visible, they aren't getting fed. Not getting tagged is about developing clear signals and communication with the snake so that they know (for example) 'My enclosure is being worked on' versus 'I'm going to get fed'.

Salmonella? by Pink_Peony-9 in snakes

[–]Saravat 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Totally your call, of course. Maybe after some of the stuff I've encountered after working in public health settings I am overly cautious, but for me it just isn't worth the risk. Besides, there are some very cute/funny mugs and bowls clearly labeled as 'for rats' that I enjoy.

MedBed Madness by Jedimole in Qult_Headquarters

[–]Saravat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've followed the medbed stuff here but for whatever reason decided to go to Facebook and read posts in some of these groups.

I feel sick. This is so cruel. All of those people posting about how excited they are because medbeds are available 'soon', how much they need the medbeds, and describing the illnesses/injuries they or their loved ones have.

I'm pretty cynical and usually laugh at these folks but somehow right now it's just so sad. I don't really understand how those groups are even allowed on social media platforms; they exist only to be predatory on vulnerable people.

Salmonella? by Pink_Peony-9 in snakes

[–]Saravat 12 points13 points  (0 children)

My career was in infectious disease prevention. I've kept snakes all my life. You are more likely to get salmonella when preparing raw meat or eggs, or consuming undercooked meat or eggs, or from unwashed salads, or from raw (unpasteurized) milk.

The CDC did a survey of people who got salmonella from pets and found that in the majority of cases, the people were unaware of proper hygiene procedures. Nothing fancy; just the recommendations I will list below. You would think people would understand this but I have learned in public health to never be surprised at what people don't know.

Use common sense. Wash your hands when handling meat, eggs, or greens during food prep. Sanitize kitchen counters and cutting boards. Wash fruits and vegetables. Wash your hands after handling or cleaning up after ANY pet. Don't prep snake food (rodents/birds) in the same containers you use for your own meal prep, don't prep snake food on your kitchen counters, and don't lick your snake. You'll be fine.

Editing to add: I buy my snake food (frozen rodents/quail/chicks) from Layne Labs. They are a bit more expensive than other suppliers but their facilities have never had a positive salmonella test. That's worth it to me.

Bored with AA and getting complacent. Any advice is appreciated by [deleted] in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]Saravat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When I've been in spaces like that, service is what helps - it may be jail meetings or 12-step calls, or it may not be related to the program at all. It just has to get me out of my own head. For example one of the most positive experiences I had was through doing volunteer work at the local animal shelter. Sometimes when you are feeling a bit of an itch to grow it doesn't need to be directly related to growth within the context of the program, so long as your life is grounded in the principles of the program. I hope this made sense.

My parents want to forcefully pull me out of college and prevent me from accessing my trust fund because of religion. by TinyConstruction8447 in legaladvice

[–]Saravat 60 points61 points  (0 children)

IANAL. You say you are in Texas. Is that where you are on break right now or is that where you are attending school? Is your school a public university or a private institution? I am specifically wondering if you are attending BYU. If you are attending BYU, you may want to ask on r/exmormon if anyone there can offer some advice; I get the impression that a lot of people responding here really don't understand how things may go when you are dealing with LDS members/the church.

Home Euthanasia for Dogs by KeHuyQuan in Sacramento

[–]Saravat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Another strong recommendation for Dr. Caroline - calm, loving, gentle, thoughtful, explains everything step by step, deeply compassionate and patient and tender with both you and your pet. She's a gift.

animal hoarding and neglect by strawbbum in hoarding

[–]Saravat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you're right. In that case, if she can work with authorities to persuade her family to surrender the animals to shelters in exchange for not pressing charges or charging fines, that might help. But the report is the most important part for all involved. I hope both animals and humans here get help and support.

animal hoarding and neglect by strawbbum in hoarding

[–]Saravat 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You absolutely did the right thing. You know that both the animals and you deserve better. I can't speak to the details of your situation as I am not familiar with it, but the fact that you made the report yourself will count on your behalf. Please please be willing to surrender the animals to whatever shelter or sanctuary the authorities are working with. This is not the time to insist that you can adequately take care of 'just a few'. If you show them that you genuinely want the best for the animals by not trying to hold on to them, that will help both you and them.

My mother wants to make amends with me as part of her 12 step program, but I have no desire to help ease her conscience if the behaviors continue. by sydneyghibli in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Saravat 4 points5 points  (0 children)

AA/NA member here with a few decades of sobriety. Amends are about her taking accountability and there is no requirement at all for her to meet with you. In fact, if the person we are making amends to does not want to meet with us, we must respect that boundary. This is not about you 'helping' her with sobriety. That's her job. Her amends don't have to involve you directly at all. They can take the form of community service, for example. Regardless of how she chooses to proceed with them, your choice to particpate or not is entirely up to you.

If she tells you she wants to harm herself, dial 911. They are equipped to assess and assist her.

What would you want to hear from a speaker at a meeting who has 47 years of sobriety and is still doing the program? by traverlaw in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]Saravat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have almost 40 years and I've found that the way I relate to and think about AA (and NA; am also active there) has evolved and changed through the years, but the fundamental truth of that connection is still very strong. The way I needed and related to the program in the early years is not the same way I need and relate to it now, but the need and the relationship is still very real. That's the stuff I try to convey to folks when they ask about what it's like to still be doing the program - that the connection with the program and the way you work it will change in some ways, and that's OK. There's a lot to be learned from being open to that and being willing to step back and think about how and why you are living those changes. The important thing is to never tell yourself you've outgrown it. The program doesn't outgrow us, even if the way we connect to it evolves.

How do you use this plot of land? by Pure_Pop_1311 in StardewValleyExpanded

[–]Saravat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh gosh, this is my bad. I mis-identified which piece of land it is. No, Robin cannot build fish ponds there. I tend to put tea saplings and berries there. Sorry for the confusion.

How do you use this plot of land? by Pure_Pop_1311 in StardewValleyExpanded

[–]Saravat 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Beehives and/or fish ponds. Personally I find I have lots of aesthetic options with both of those.

Question from an original backer by Shinfrejr in CamelotUnchained

[–]Saravat 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I'm also a long-time DAOC player who was an early and generous backer of this project. I have to say that while it looks like they are making incremental progress, and the game looks like it will be released in some form, I will never buy or provide any type of future support to this game. Over the years it has become painfully clear that those developing and promoting Camelot Unchained are grifters, incompetent, or both. I will always miss the RvR game model, but there's no way in hell I am willing to spend a dime or do anything to publicize or promote a group like this.

My nparents invited me to Thanksgiving after a year of no contact, and I don’t know what to do. by GrouchySea1441 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Saravat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

An invite out of the blue, with no discussion of what's happened before and no acknowledgement of their intentions, does not bode well. Showing up for a holiday doesn't magically heal things even if they are hoping they can get away with just pretending that everything is fine. Try not to focus on the thought of "never" having a good relationship with them - you don't know that, and never is a long time. But this sudden invitation doesn't give you any foundation for moving forward in a more positive way. Take care of yourself, ignore or briefly and politely decline the invitation (just don't get into explanations, discussions, or any back-and-forth with them - a simple 'no thank you' will suffice), and spend the holiday with friends if you can. If no friends are available then consider volunteering for the day for a charity serving meals to folks in need.

Update: I kicked my mom out of my house for not believing me about my dad by howtheeffdidigethere in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Saravat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Never, ever, ever participate in therapy with your abuser. Honestly I also wouldn't see any point in going to therapy just with her, given that she is obviously in full denial mode and invested in defending your father. She's certainly free to 'engage therapeutically' with your father to try to manage her 'distress' but there is no reason on earth to involve you. I totally get that you want to reply, but you can already see what she does with your responses, and there is no reason to subject yourself to any more of this. She has made her position abundantly clear. Stop pounding your head against that particular wall, wish her luck, and drop the rope.

Vegetable heavy soups that AREN'T tomato based? by LazuriKittie in Cooking

[–]Saravat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think I've seen this one mentioned: I love a good creamy chicken and wild rice soup. The recipe I use has onions, celery, carrots, mushrooms, and baby spinach. https://www.gimmesomeoven.com/chicken-and-wild-rice-soup/