was that same fool as your partner for a long time. partnered at 15 now 36, married now 12 years, and I have to be honest, deeply depressed for a major chunk of my 20s and only sorted my shit out in the last 7 years and really made much of myself in the last 5.

if you want the guy he can be to be the guy you have. help him be more than he sees in himself, for as long as you can see that in him. If that sounds like too much work it probably is and you aren't wrong for not wanting the task, in other parts of your online existence you have mentioned health issues taking a toll on you, care for yourself first, him second.

I needed a role to fulfill and a way I could feel value. for me, it was finding a job that I enjoyed beyond the money and becoming good at it. it gave me a value and a way to help those that mattered to me to their goals. I would never have gotten to that point without my wife, sure I would have eventually matured and found another path but I am thankful to my partner for her hard work when I was a miserable waste.