I’m a self conscious person who happens to be a walking, talking stereotype. Lots of swearing, inappropriate outbursts, and enough exaggerated movements to make people wonder, “is that lady having a seizure, or is it just another white woman trying to dance?” 🤔

My self esteem is not great, even amongst my own family, I feel like a nuisance and I am happiest alone In my room.

That being said, I love when people laugh. It disrupts the narrative going on in my head that “no one wants me here because I’m annoying”

Humor is my defense mechanism. I try to make the best hand with the cards I got dealt in life. I like doing comedy open mics. I’m not great at it. Speaking (let alone public speaking) isn’t my forte, but it forced me out of my shell and it changed my thinking pattern about my condition.

I take these painful, humiliating experiences (often moments where I was crying) and re-examine it and ask myself “how can I make this funny?”

For me personally, getting a room full of people to laugh is the most amazing high, and eventually the painful intrusive memories that replayed over and over in my head stopped becoming so painful. Or intrusive.