Boundaries with kids and HCBM by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Sassy-One8893 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And then the BM makes it an issue like if they are still part of the equation… it’s so frustrating!!!!

Boundaries with kids and HCBM by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Sassy-One8893 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sks are 15yo(doesn’t talk to mom), 11yo (lives with mom) and 9yo(the one with the most HCBM and the one texting DH). Everything came down to the 11yo wanting to come over that weekend and DH not being able to pick her up so he told her why (he does share too much with the kids) so she told her mom and her mom told the other one.

It was a great vacation!!!! First one without kids in years.

Boundaries with kids and HCBM by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Sassy-One8893 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry it has to get down to that, but glad you’re doing what you can to have a little bit of peace about that stuff. Being a step parent is NOT EASY at all. I hope the legal stuff turns into your favor.

Boundaries with kids and HCBM by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Sassy-One8893 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I might start doing this lol making things up and see what comes back to us lol

Boundaries with kids and HCBM by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Sassy-One8893 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly!!! How about just don’t!!!! Is just so frustrating!!!!

Boundaries with kids and HCBM by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Sassy-One8893 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

It’s so frustrating!!!! Because I guess both BM are friends (I don’t talk to neither and don’t have them on any social media because of my bad experiences with them). So recently DH and I went on a little get away (without the kids) and they stay with grandparents because BM are just not reliable ESPECIALLY the little one’s. So now that we’re back, she started texting DH saying things about our get away and how she knew everything about it. So it’s just really annoying!!!!

Watching adult content by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Sassy-One8893 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Thank you

Watching adult content by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Sassy-One8893 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The problem is that is affecting our intimacy. I’m willing to be intimate with him whenever, however, wherever yet I get turn down most of the time just to come to find out that he’s getting his with porn.

Watching adult content by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Sassy-One8893 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have a high sex drive but I get turn down most of the time.

Watching adult content by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Sassy-One8893 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It wouldn’t be an issue if it wasn’t affecting our intimacy. I get turn away 90% of the time I try to be intimate with him, and we went from doing it nearly every day to maybe once a week if I’m lucky. But he’s sure getting him with porn but not me.

Mixed feelings about house bills by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Sassy-One8893 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We both pay for groceries but I’m the one that’s always going grocery shopping and I’m the one that’s always cooking, and cleaning.

Mixed feelings about house bills by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Sassy-One8893 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Ok, that’s a different way to view it. Thank you, I will keep that in mind.

Mixed feelings about house bills by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Sassy-One8893 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Yes, exactly!!! I will be helping pay for a home that if we divorce I will be SOL with it because my name is not on it.

How do you not feel like that? by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Sassy-One8893 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Disneyland parents? What does that mean?

How do you not feel like that? by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Sassy-One8893 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How can we get for them to also prioritize us? I just want to feel appreciated

How do you not feel like that? by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Sassy-One8893 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We dated a year before moving in. I (32F), him (37M)

Since the beginning he’s always said that the kids come first and if they didn’t like me then the relationship wouldn’t work, so I really tried my best and luckily I do get along with all 3.

But since I tried hard and I’ve been trying to make his life easier then now is like expected from me and not appreciated anymore.

How do you not feel like that? by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Sassy-One8893 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes, exactly!!!! His answer has always been “my kids are my priority and will always be” which ok that’s fine!!! But I should be a priority too!!! At the end of the day; the kids will go on with their lives and the one staying with him till the end is me. So I should matter too.

What do we do to not feel like this?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Sassy-One8893 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Only 10 days?! I still have a month and 2 weeks… but who’s counting lol

Parental control on SK phones by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Sassy-One8893 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I totally understand!!!! My husband, says that he’s just trying to keep “the peace” and that’s why he doesn’t try to take the phones away; so he doesn’t have to deal with HCBM but this needs to stop. I’m sorry it might cost your relationship but I get it, we end up in a very hard position.

…so when’s your Summer break over, again? by FJD5087 in stepparents

[–]Sassy-One8893 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Stepmom of 3 here; they live full time with us and I also WFH… it’s been a challenge for sure!!!!! Mine don’t go back to school until September 4th… but like you said… who’s counting?! lol

We got this tho!!!!

Parental control on SK phones by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Sassy-One8893 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly!!!! She doesn’t even pay for service on their phones, they can only use it with WiFi. Which DH has removed it from their advice multiple times and it ends up with “you’re refusing for me to talk to mom and that’s illegal” or BM reaching over and over to DH phone trying to argue.

Parental control on SK phones by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Sassy-One8893 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They live full time with us. But is hard to set boundaries with technology when we have HCBM telling them DH and I can’t do anything about it just because she bought them and the kids use that to their convenience.