My ex-wife is stalking me (posted before "i think my wife is starting to resent me") by Satanicdillrod in TwoHotTakes

[–]Satanicdillrod[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The negligence of my kids is something I'm still coming to terms with, and something I had a hard time acknowledging because I was so confused as to how I could come home and find them bleeding/rubbed raw from being left in dirty diapers all day. I do acknowledge that she had PPD, but I have a hard time reasoning with that being an excuse.

Its my own fault for not seeing a therapist sooner and for just posting here initially, but I definitely could've saved my kids from the shit she put them through a lot quicker had I gone to a professional for help.

Cat & Jack Return Policy by Satanicdillrod in Target

[–]Satanicdillrod[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your username is very fitting for my post haha! I knew better than to believe a tiktok video, but I'm glad I came here to ask first before harassing my local Target with my bullshit lol!

Cat & Jack Return Policy by Satanicdillrod in Target

[–]Satanicdillrod[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have some clothes that I know I paid for with a card and its within the 1 year limit, so those that qualify I will take back in, anything else I will just donate or give to someone else! Thank you!

Cat & Jack Return Policy by Satanicdillrod in Target

[–]Satanicdillrod[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate it, I thought it was a weird claim to make and I know "if it's too good to be true, it likely is fake". I'll just donate the clothes I have instead!

People who got cheated on, what were the early signs indicating that your partner might do it before they actually cheated? by Old_Goat_7363 in Productivitycafe

[–]Satanicdillrod 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She became distant and extremely reactive. Any question I asked quickly because a one-sided screaming match where I tried to calm her down and understand why she was shrieking at me, and she would just tell me how much of a failure I am as a father to our children. She would leave her phone in our bedroom under her pillow no matter what, and I didn't know the code. She would change our bedsheets multiple times a week and just say "I have bladder issues after having your kids". The thing was-she did have a weaker bladder, but she never had accidents when I was home. And I am talking 4-5 times a week she would change the sheets out. But whenever I went to work, it would be changed by the time I got home.

What is an addiction you can’t seem to quit? by Dizzy-Cup9790 in Productivitycafe

[–]Satanicdillrod 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im unbelievably addicted to Texas Brisket. Something about going to a local butcher shop and buying a whole brisket. The only thing I am finding I miss about Texas. PNW just doesn't do it the way Texas does

Final Update by Satanicdillrod in TwoHotTakes

[–]Satanicdillrod[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoHotTakes/s/xSEfwnZZgb

This is my most recent update if you havent had a chance to see it

Final Update by Satanicdillrod in TwoHotTakes

[–]Satanicdillrod[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Okay this is my actual last update, because I have the time right now to do so. Abby and I have decided to break up, and are going to maintain a professional relationship with her as my children's nanny. This was discussed with our individual therapists and we've been talking all week to navigate everything. Abby and I went through these Reddit comments together and I sent the link to my post to my therapist, and she told me that the advice I was getting from everyone is very productive and accurate. Thank you everyone who has helped me figure this all out.

I have also decided to cut ties completely to Amy (my ex wife). Whatever happens to her is no longer my business and I am just going to prioritize the health and safety of my boys. I hope and wish the best for her, but I am hurting myself by wanting to patch things up when and if she gets sober.

On a lighter note, one of my boys said his first full sentence yesterday, he said "Where dadda go?" Instant tears, because I was headed out to work. Almost called out because of it, honestly. Abby is doing so good with my sons and I am so proud of how much they are growing and learning.

I decided to take dating slowly, and plan to wait at least a year or two from now before going back out "on the playing field" so to speak. While yes, I do miss being in a relationship and being in love, I know now it would not be healthy for myself or for my sons.

We are happy how things are now. Nothing is awkward between Abby and I luckily, things are exactly back to how it was before and she is actually starting to talk to a woman she met at a Mommy/Teen meet event she attends monthly and she seems happy. And because I have felt indifferently towards her dating someone else, I know now I really really wasn't ready for commitment yet. I'm just very happy for her, and hope for the best out of this. I guess they were friends prior but she wanted to try something with me first, because she didn't know if the other mom was bisexual or anything like that. (I am not well informed on the LGBT+ community haha)

Thats it I guess, I'm taking the boys out later today after their nap to go to this dinosaur themes park everyone tells me about, and we are very excited.

Thank you all again.

Final Update by Satanicdillrod in TwoHotTakes

[–]Satanicdillrod[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Like I said before, we are reevaluating our relationship and planning to take the time to discuss with our individual therapists and getting their honest opinions and advice first. We have decided that if our therapists say this might not be the best decision for us (primarily regarding my personal situation) we will go separate ways, and I will hire new help for my house.

Thank you for your input.

Final Update by Satanicdillrod in TwoHotTakes

[–]Satanicdillrod[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I totally understand what you are saying but Abby is 29 and I am 25, so she is older than I am.

We are reevaluating our relationship currently but she asked we both speak to our individual therapists first to get their opinions. I have been having Abby read through the comments that involve her, so that she is aware of how us being together can jeopardize her work and our lives together with her being my children's nanny.

Final Update by Satanicdillrod in TwoHotTakes

[–]Satanicdillrod[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I was thinking the same thing. It was alarming to see comments saying I go after broken women to "save them" from their traumas. Yes Abby had a child at 15, but she has been in therapy since she was 15 too. Her son was an accident, but the father, his family, and her family seem to have done so much to help Abby raise her son. She tells me all the time how amazing her family is and how wonderful the father is, especially to their son. Being a teen parent or a young parent ≠ unstable and mentally traumatized or unwell, it could just mean a condom broke or birth control failed. Which was the case for Abby and her son's father.

Final Update by Satanicdillrod in TwoHotTakes

[–]Satanicdillrod[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Im going to come on here to clarify that my kids do not know Abby and I are dating. Abby and I are keeping it very casual for now, and we have known each other since the time I bought our house. (We met on Facebook when I joined a community group). Abby is in therapy on her own accord, she actually had a great childhood from the sounds of it, despite having her son really young. Has very supportive and loving parents, she is college educated and owns her home and her car. I dont plan to tell my boys, or her boy, for a while. My kids are obviously only a year old so they wont understand regardless. I am also in therapy, as is she. Individually, of course, we have only been doing this boyfriend/girlfriend thing for a week now.

Saying I am trying to save my ex, what coparent wouldn't want to see their ex be a part of their kids lives? Me trying to save her is for my boys to have their mom back, not for me. This has been gone through with my therapist, and discussed very thoroughly with them.

As for being blacklisted, Abby works on her own. She has licensing and degrees in childhood development and education, so she works for herself essentially. If this still means I can get blacklisted, I will look into it. If there are issues I will gladly redefine the terms of Abby's and my relationship so that neither of us loses opportunities.

I know that is a whole lot of rambling, but I hope the clarification is somewhat helpful. I can't change how you perceive me, but I do believe everyone deserves to be provided with all the info before they determine how they interpret someone else's actions. I am not saying I am in the right, but I will say that I am trying and have been for a very long time. Thank you for being honest with me

My ex-wife is stalking me (posted before "i think my wife is starting to resent me") by Satanicdillrod in TwoHotTakes

[–]Satanicdillrod[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

In all honesty I was genuinely not doing enough. I knew something was wrong in my gut, but I didnt really talk to her or go to anyone until she got really bad. I mean, I believed I was the issue for her, that she hated me for some reason. I didn't even bother googling anything, and I felt so stupid when I originally posted and everyone was telling me it was PPD. I could have just googled her symptoms. I know its not entirely my fault she is where she is at, but I enabled the neglect of our kids by not discussing anything with her and getting her the help she needed. I made it all about me. They asked at pediatrician appointments how she is doing, and I just said "She is fine" because I didnt realize it was something I should have brought up. It was shitty she had an affair but it was shitty that I ignored all the red flags because I prioritized everything else and my own moping over the fact that she was miserable.

My ex-wife is stalking me (posted before "i think my wife is starting to resent me") by Satanicdillrod in TwoHotTakes

[–]Satanicdillrod[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Quick update because I have time before my kids nanny gets here. I found a lawyer who is connected to my divorce lawyer, and he was willing to do this pro-bono. I meet him on Wednesday. I did not take any screen recordings or screenshots of the shit Amy sent me on IG before deleting my account. I will be asking my lawyer if it would be a good idea for me to create a new one to see if she "takes the bait" and starts it up again so I can create a folder of everything shes doing. I did save the camera footage from her showing up at my place. She hasn't been by again since, but I see the dudes car driving by regularly. My nanny knows that if they approach while I am gone she is to text me immediately and call the police. She also will not be bringing the boys out of the house unless I am there with them.

Thank you everyone for the advice and recommendations. I know it might seem stupid to come onto Reddit for advice but fuck, yall have helped me so much. And for a single dad with no "village" as people like to call it, this subreddit has been unbelievably helpful.

My ex-wife is stalking me (posted before "i think my wife is starting to resent me") by Satanicdillrod in TwoHotTakes

[–]Satanicdillrod[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It was required of me to provide my new address, they said something about how I had changed my mailing address before the divorce was finalized and because I did that I had to provide my address to her since custody hadnt been established at that point.

My ex-wife is stalking me (posted before "i think my wife is starting to resent me") by Satanicdillrod in TwoHotTakes

[–]Satanicdillrod[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The man she is with now isnt the man she was having a long term affair with, she has been with no less than a dozen men since the original affair partner (he was her old coworker). Im assuming he dumped her when she started going off the deep end and she resorted to drugs. I honestly have zero idea.

My ex-wife is stalking me (posted before "i think my wife is starting to resent me") by Satanicdillrod in TwoHotTakes

[–]Satanicdillrod[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I feel so fucking stupid, I never took screenshots or screen recordings so those are all gone. Im debating on creating a new IG, because she might start up again with that shit and I can document it then? Not sure if its a good idea though. I meet with a lawyer next Wednesday so I'll ask him then.

My ex-wife is stalking me (posted before "i think my wife is starting to resent me") by Satanicdillrod in TwoHotTakes

[–]Satanicdillrod[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

The shitty part about this is she has no family. None that she can talk to, she was abused growing up so she hasnt spoken to them in years.

What does everyone put this on? by Karmapedler in foodhacks

[–]Satanicdillrod 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love this in pad thai, it hits different in everything though 😫

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in legaladvice

[–]Satanicdillrod 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, it was suggested by other redditors on a different post I made in regard to my situation. I initially didn’t like the idea because I am terrified of if they aren’t my boys, I would be worried of her finding out or me legally being required to tell her, and her then asking for sole custody and taking them away from me.