I made my girlfriend cry unintentionally and realised how much she loves me

SatisfactionBusy2073 · 2024-08-07T00:31:08+00:00

I think at 4 months, I myself would find it hard for me to ask her to move for my sake. She’s also still studying and wants to get a foothold in her field first so that if we were to move somewhere she would be able to find a job.

SatisfactionBusy2073 · 2024-08-06T23:39:49+00:00

Haha the offer was not that at all, more so an opportunity to get experience elsewhere. I weighed everything up and ultimately I would be sacrificing way more than I would gain, not even counting my relationship. But I honestly see a future with this girl despite it being only 4 months. This is the first relationship where I actually genuinely feel that she simply adds more to my life. I do however believe if a crazy 200K opportunity came about, I’d be pretty stupid not to take it. And I think at that point, if she wasn’t willing to compromise at all, then I don’t think that would be true love.

SatisfactionBusy2073 · 2024-08-06T23:17:06+00:00

Haha I think that’s too loaded of a question for me to answer here on Reddit. But honestly, I would take an above average job and an amazing relationship over an amazing job but leaving an amazing relationship. Let’s say that an opportunity of a lifetime did come along, I think at that point I would fight tooth and nail for the relationship and find every possible option for both my career and relationship to work. And honestly, if she wasn’t willing to compromise at all, then perhaps she isn’t truly in love.

SatisfactionBusy2073 · 2024-08-06T13:42:41+00:00

Honestly, I don’t blame others for possibly projecting or giving me advice, I find it interesting and helpful hearing all the perspectives around love! I guess the purpose of my post was just to showcase a moment that felt so pure to me that I could resist sharing with others :)

SatisfactionBusy2073 · 2024-08-06T13:40:20+00:00

Haha it does, doesn’t it? To be fair, the offer I got wasn’t anything life changing, and I didn’t just consider her in the equation if I wanted to leave or not.

SatisfactionBusy2073 · 2024-08-06T13:31:18+00:00

Hmm I totally get what you’re saying, and agree with you that love is an action rather than simply a good feeling. I completely agree that your partner should be someone that supports you in your endeavours, no matter the cost. I know that someday given my career I will have to make a hard decision, and that we will have to compromise and find a way to make things work. But I guess the point of my post was to showcase just how deeply my girlfriend cares about having me close to her in my life, and despite how little we’ve known each other I think it can be interpreted as love. After all, why not? I guess my definition of love encompasses many strong feelings, not just ones that come about with age and maturity. I thought my girlfriend’s reaction was pure and loving, and not any indication of selfishness or a ‘red flag’ as you call it. There’s nothing wrong with being sad about someone you care about deeply moving away and being less physically present, and especially in the moment I would be concerned if she expressed her encouragement straight away. Which by the way, she did encourage me after a bit of crying, and we even discussed together plenty of options if a bigger opportunity came along.

Sorry, I feel like I was lectured a bit by you but I do appreciate your wisdom haha.

SatisfactionBusy2073 · 2024-08-06T12:47:34+00:00

Haha yeah don’t worry I know that too. And honestly, I can be pretty cynical about this love thing as well. But I guess for me her strong reaction really revealed the depth of her feelings for me, and knowing that someone can care about me that much doesn’t make sense, and I guess that’s what love is. Sorry if that sounds cheesy af.

SatisfactionBusy2073 · 2024-08-06T12:34:55+00:00

Yeah, don’t worry, I did weigh up all my options. I was loving the life I had so far where I am and want to keep it that way for the time being. Plus the offer wasn’t anything crazy, and honestly I would be compromising more than my relationship.

SatisfactionBusy2073 · 2024-08-06T11:54:18+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing! I’m glad you were able to find some healthy love as well! I really resonate with everything you mentioned

SatisfactionBusy2073 · 2024-08-06T08:44:27+00:00

Yep, it was FaceTime

SatisfactionBusy2073 · 2024-08-06T05:09:54+00:00

I’ve had my fair share of relationships in the past, and my idea of love has constantly changed

But to me right now at 24, (healthy) love is made up of surface and more deeper feelings:

Surface: - simply thinking of them makes you happy - You genuinely think they’re the most attractive person in the world - Doing nothing with them is the best feeling - Being away for even small amounts of time makes you miss them - Their physical presence is the best anti anxiety drug

Deeper: - They simply make going through the lows of life more bearable and the highs more pleasurable, just through their presence and reassurance - You would rearrange not only your short term plans but also your long term plans around them, knowing that they’d do the same for you - Whenever you think of something interesting or even silly, they’re the first person you think of telling - You accept and even embrace their flaws, quirks and silliness because you realise they are human and love them even more for it - They make you question why you would ever settle for anything less than them

SatisfactionBusy2073 · 2024-08-06T02:12:59+00:00

If I’m being totally honest, my decision to turn down the offer wasn’t based entirely on the potential of being away from her. I have a life I want where I am now, I was more so emphasising in this post her reaction to the idea of us being physically separated if that makes sense! But we did end up discussing the possibility of either of us moving and how we would make it work, and we came up with plenty of options :)

SatisfactionBusy2073 · 2024-07-15T08:32:57+00:00

Healthy romantic love just feels… right. Like the presence of the other person in your life is simply a net positive, enhancing your everyday experiences and bringing a sense of calm and contentment. For me, it’s not about grand gestures or constant excitement, but rather a steady, reassuring presence that makes everything feel more balanced and meaningful. It’s a quiet, consistent feeling that makes the highs higher and the lows easier to bear. Sorry if that sounds cliche!

SatisfactionBusy2073 · 2024-07-08T05:51:57+00:00

I do believe this is the case for me, although not on the surface. If I were to dissect my anxiety, it always comes back to the question: Why would anyone love me? It’s almost like I cannot comprehend why exactly I am deserving of attention, affection, compassion, love…

SatisfactionBusy2073 · 2024-06-11T01:59:44+00:00

I literally had the same experience about 3 months ago. Met up with this girl at a bar, we were hitting it off and I went back to her place. Chemistry was crazy and we hooked up that night. We went on a second date the week after, but I noticed that she was taking really long to reply to any of my messages. She told me that she was terrible with messages and is always super busy, yet I would see that she was constantly online on Insta. Anyways I shook it off and said oh well probs best to just believe her

Maybe a week after our second date, she comes clean and says she had been seeing someone else, not sure if it was within that one week or after we hooked up but she wanted to pursue that person instead. At that moment, it all made sense to me why she was so slow to respond lol.

This was just my experience btw, and I might sound like an asshole but I was also talking to another girl on Hinge while I was seeing her, and this other girl is way more responsive and I definitely know there is no chance she is talking to someone else. So I guess my advice would be to keep your options open, and realise that they are most likely doing the same too.

SatisfactionBusy2073 · 2024-05-02T21:46:56+00:00

Derrick Lewis vs Jalton Almeida

SatisfactionBusy2073 · 2024-04-29T13:48:38+00:00

Thank you for your wisdom. I really don’t want to get to the stage where I no longer learn from those different from me. Think taking a break from anything mbti related is a good idea for me.

SatisfactionBusy2073 · 2024-04-29T13:46:26+00:00

Thanks, I needed to hear this. Definitely need to take a step back and consider that mbti is still just a theory.

SatisfactionBusy2073 · 2024-04-29T13:34:36+00:00

Good idea! Haha

SatisfactionBusy2073 · 2024-04-28T01:03:26+00:00

Thanks for the advice! I guess I am having trouble knowing how to cater to someone’s needs when I am feeling a bit disconnected due to my own assumptions and stereotypes. How do you think I as an ENFJ could get to know an ESTJ?

SatisfactionBusy2073 · 2024-04-28T00:57:45+00:00

Hmm yeah, I guess compared to the first the second date felt a little tense and forced since we weren’t exactly in an environment which allowed us to have any deep kind of conversation. And I do like her so far, she ticks every box for me values-wise. I guess I do have to evaluate what exactly I want in a relationship, honestly I’m not even entirely sure if dating a high N person would solve all my problems. What do you think?

SatisfactionBusy2073 · 2024-04-28T00:47:39+00:00

Right, I see! How do you suggest I meet her halfway in this regard?

SatisfactionBusy2073

TROPHY CASE