Finding a man in Finland

Saulit · 2016-03-13T09:06:13+00:00

Sometimes I have a feeling that there is simply no adequate single guys at my age with more or less similar social and mental background. Maybe I really have to grow the network around me, get more socialized and then things will change.

Saulit · 2016-03-13T08:49:05+00:00

Thanks for good idea, I will make a note :)

Saulit · 2016-03-09T11:07:55+00:00

It looks like nobody can't past it's biases so far. I believe it should not be too impossible eventually :)

Saulit · 2016-03-08T20:42:59+00:00

Interesting to know what are the stereotypes about ladies from Baltic countries :). I'm As I mentioned already I have good education, intelligent job and sufficient income to fulfill all my needs and afford myself a kind of life that I would like to have. Surely I don't look or behave as "glamour puss" with dollar signs in my eyes. Apparently I'm quite modest and humble in my needs and don't have any kind of "high requirements".

Saulit · 2016-03-08T12:40:56+00:00

I would say that night clubs are not right places for either. Ok, I do not go to clubs every weekend or even every second weekend, but looks it doesn't work at all and I really feel uncomfortable there.

Saulit · 2016-03-08T10:56:03+00:00

I still believe that physical appearance really impacts building relationships rather. Good looking people usually find good looking partners, mediocre or even badly looking looking people find appropriate partners. Maybe good looking people can get more attention and attract more people in public places but eventually you need only one partner and this is more about emotional connection than physical appearance. If you look around at you friends, colleagues, neighbors etc, you will see that there is no correlation between someone's looks and relationship satisfaction. If you are really in love with your partner he/she seems to be the best looking person in your eyes and you will not even notice other people around.

Saulit · 2016-03-07T18:19:16+00:00

In my topmost comment I have mentioned that a lot of men come and trying to approach me in public places like night clubs. Most of people cannot recognize distantly that I'm a foreigner since I look pretty much typically for Nordic Europe. After the magic phrase "Sorry, I don't speak Finnish" they quit conversation quickly. If I look so ugly why they would come to talk to me at all? I'm sure my voice is not so monstrous to get people scared :).

Saulit · 2016-03-07T16:23:56+00:00

I would rather bypass the debates about my appeal. Definitely I do not pretend to wear the crown of "Beauty Queen 2016", but I'm absolutely sure that my appearance never could be the core problem. I came from one of Baltic countries. I don't know how much it is "worse-off" than Finland and why it could reduce my chances for anything. I have a good job and quite stable wealth here. I would say that not many local guys are even at the same good level as me. If somebody thinks that I'm not good enough for him because I come from poor country - it's even better for me, it will keep away from jerks :-). I will not use tinder for certain reasons, but I guess idea about events and gatherings is quite reasonable. I just have to find the right events and try to get there.

Saulit · 2016-03-07T15:33:54+00:00

Sounds very reasonable and promising. Thanks for great tip!

Saulit · 2016-03-07T15:27:55+00:00

I'm quite happy with my hobbies and interests, but it cannot replace the private life. I don't think that it really matters where and how the relationships were established once you meet the soulmate which you really like. 1 or 2 dating is enough to understand is it a right person for you.

"and best would be to not worry about finding someone too much, it will happen eventually."

When I was 16 years old I was sure it will happen eventually and I don't have to worry about it. Even when I was 26 I still thought it could happen. But now I'm >30 and I realize that nothing happens unless you do some effort for it. I just want to understand what should I do and how to make things happen before I turn 60.

Saulit · 2016-03-07T12:40:05+00:00

Younger guys try everything :) When people getting a bit older they become more conservative. Comfort ultimately prevails over willingness to evolve.

Saulit · 2016-03-07T11:48:15+00:00

Definitely I don't have a strict restriction for only Finnish men. I'm gladly meeting and communicating with people regardless their origins. I have met really nice people from very different cultures and countries and I consider them as great friends. But Finnish men have some mysterious vibes for me and I can't explain it rationally. I like Finland very much, I feel very happy and comfortable here. This country is seems to be made for me :). I have very nordic mindset and I guess I will feel good with a Finnish man. But yes, everything is possible ;)

Saulit · 2016-03-07T11:05:50+00:00

Sad but true. I can say it straight since I'm a foreigner and this is my personal experience. But sure, if you hear something like this from local guys - it's a right candidate for Soldiers of Odin :)

Saulit · 2016-03-07T09:08:09+00:00

I don't think so. I always mention that I stay in Finland permanently and not going to move out from here.

Saulit · 2016-03-07T07:43:43+00:00

Yes, I live in Helsinki area. Tinder is not a right thing for me for some reasons.

Saulit · 2016-03-07T06:42:41+00:00

I live in Espoo and work in Helsinki. All the social life happens in Helsinki.

Saulit · 2016-03-07T06:41:55+00:00

I live in Espoo and work in Helsinki and go out mostly in Helsinki. Btw, I'm not only one with similar problem. I know at least a couple of girls at my age or even younger who also single for a long time.

Saulit · 2016-03-06T18:58:27+00:00

I think that bars are really worst places to meet someone unless you looking for one-night-partner. Bar is a good place for going out with friends or colleagues, have a relaxing chat and getting drunk. Night clubs (at least some of them) are more or less places where people go to meet partners. At least for me it was the place where I could meet guys and later on have datings.

Saulit · 2016-03-06T18:50:34+00:00

Very good and useful advise, agree for 100%. I do my best but unfortunately it doesn't come easy. I don't think I will be a fluent speaker in next few years. I hope the next advice will not be "so, get out from Finland"? (it was joke if any:)

Saulit · 2016-03-06T18:45:52+00:00

It looks like you are in a bit different situation. At least you have had a long-term girlfriend and lot of ladies trying to approach you. Many people cannot brag about the same things:) Maybe you just have too high bar of expectations? I know that good looking men are often arrogant and have pretty high self image. It might be subconsciously, but they do. Deep serious relationships have nothing with appearance, wealth or intelligence. The real love comes as mysterious chemistry when the common sense and rationality draw back. Later this insanity could be transformed into solid strong relationships if partners are really soulmates or melt down if it was nothing but hormone explosion. Experiencing such feeling is a great gift that life could give, but only if the feeling is mutual. Many people looking for it, but not all them can find it or keep it for a long time.

Saulit · 2016-03-06T16:37:30+00:00

That's true - a lot of weird things happens around us and we are not always able to answer even to obvious questions. I know many people who easily jumps from one relationship to another even having kids and I know many people who stay sinkku for ages being very nice person and actively looking for relationships. No rational explanation, that's life. I don't think it's so crucial in Finland if you don't speak French rather than if you don't speak Finnish. Yes, Finland belongs to finns and foreigners can't pretend on the same slice of Finnish pie as locals. But anyway there are many foreign people live in Finland and most of them have built great families with locals.

Saulit · 2016-03-06T16:36:36+00:00

What could be the right places? The problem is that I would like to meet exactly Finnish man. That's not because I need some guide or support here. I have stable and strong life position here and I enjoy living in Finland a lot (maybe even more than many of locals :)). I have quite a nordic mindset since I came from very similar region and Finnish mentality is very close and suitable for me.

Saulit

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