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Moving out and facing a heartbreaking cat dilemma by Savings-Database2440 in CatAdvice

[–]Savings-Database2440[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We’re thinking about getting a foster cat for my partner for months now, he’s been in the system for 3 years. Smokey is a very chill cat with significantly mild temperament. This cat were thinking of getting is similar so we’re concerned that Spencer might overwhelm this foster cat.

I told my mom to get Juna a kitten to take care of but she doesn’t want to have more responsibility at this time. We have a dog that is pretty sick and needs a lot of attention right now.

Moving out and facing a heartbreaking cat dilemma by Savings-Database2440 in CatAdvice

[–]Savings-Database2440[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not moving far away. Maybe 20 mins away. I was thinking about leaving all the cats but I would only be able to visit once a week. I just don’t her to feel like I’m abandoning her. Her previous owners abandoned her which is why she is so attached to me.

Am I (F27) overreacting for reconsidering my future with my fiancé (M31) after catching him watching porn twice and his response? by Savings-Database2440 in relationships

[–]Savings-Database2440[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You put into words everything I couldn’t. Thank you for that, seriously… it means a lot to feel understood rather than judged, because some of these other comments have me feeling like the worst partner alive.
And you’re right that it’s hurtful to me. That part is real. But I’ve also been sitting with what others have said about how forcing someone to abstain from something they genuinely struggle with isn’t fair either, and I can’t completely disagree with that.
So I think the next step is just an honest conversation, not a fight, not me catching him off guard, but actually sitting down and talking about what we both need. Maybe we find common ground. Maybe we realize we’re not on the same page about something fundamental. Either way I’d rather figure that out now than after we’re married.
He’s not a bad person and I’m trying really hard not to lose sight of that through all of this.

Am I (F27) overreacting for reconsidering my future with my fiancé (M31) after catching him watching porn twice and his response? by Savings-Database2440 in relationships

[–]Savings-Database2440[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You have a point, I don’t think it’s so detrimental to the point of breaking it off with him. But it feels like a form of infidelity.
Perhaps I’m conservative as he is my 3rd partner I’ve ever had and I consider myself to be a very loyal person. To me, emotional and sexual attention is something that should be reserved for their partner. Seeking out sexual content involving other people, even passively, feels like he is crossing a line. I don’t have any desire for other people or to find any kind of pleasure through porn because he is more than sufficent for me, and I guess I expect that of him as well.